Have you ever felt like telling the world to go away and leave you alone? That is me tonight. I'm tired, sore, and frazzled. It is also called being a caregiver. Tomorrow I need to take Reid into the hospital for cataract surgery on his left eye. When that heals they will do the right eye. I threw my back out trying to get the house cleaned so no dust can get into his eyes. I also got his weight up to 150 pounds like the doctor wanted. Guess who has to lift up that weight?
If I were to teach a course in Caregiving 101 the first thing I would say is your mind will tell you that you are crazy. Listen to the heart that will tell you that you won't be able to live with yourself if you don't. There is no glory in caregiving. It is cleaning a rug you already shampooed because he couldn't see well enough to try and get the urinal up in time. His hands don't work because of the severe diabetes. Change him, change the sheets, and wash them. You have done it before and you will do it again.
Lets face it if you can deal with his blood sugar dropping to 30, his going into grand mal seizures, the front door open hoping the paramedics get here soon, feeding him Karo sugar to get his blood sugar up, all the while listening to 911 on the speaker of your cell phone you can handle anything.
Sure when you brought him out you were planning on him being in his own place and he would take meals with you and you would be close enough to keep an eye on him. Life has a way of forgetting to tell you things like he let his diabetes get totally out of control and if he was to live you would have to step in. You are the big sister after all and with our parents being dead you are the one who has to step up and take control.
So tomorrow it is surgery and taking care of him after that. Christmas will be at my house so eventually I'll have to get the decorations out and set up. Maybe I can get the cards printed and out in time to get to people before Christmas. Maybe I can even get the packages out in time providing I have time to do Christmas shopping. We can't forget I am also second Mom to my niece and grandmother to her three children. Of course the I has become us with caregiving and hey someone has to step up and I guess I'm it. Someone had to save his life. Actually I've literally saved his life six times this year. As much as I would sometimes like the world to go away and get off my shoulders I know that deep down I had a choice and sticking him in a nursing home where no one really cared wasn't an option. Caregiving is listening to your heart and not your head.
Tue Dec 09, 2014 at 7:23 AM PT: Wow Community Spotlight. Wasn't expecting that. Thanks to everybody.
Have a back brace on to deal with getting the wheelchair in and out of the car. We will be off to the hospital in a couple of minutes. Thanks for all your concern and warm thoughts.
Tue Dec 09, 2014 at 12:51 PM PT: Back from surgery. Reid doing well. I'm beat however. They put a patch over it that looks like a clear Jason from Friday the 13th mask. Tonight doing the drops and tomorrow morning back to the Doctor.