So long, Shemp.
Let it go,
let it go ...
Outgoing Rep. Michele Bachmann, true to form, attributed the United States' economic rise through history to "the Ten Commandments" in her final speech on the House floor Tuesday night.
The Minnesota Republican cited to the U.S. motto, officially adopted in 1956, of "In God we trust," and saying it's "fabulous" that the United States decided to "declare, in full voice, that it is in God that we as a nation put our trust." [...]
"It could be no coincidence that this nation, knowing and enjoying the heights of such great happiness and such great prosperity, that it could be built upon that foundation of the Ten Commandments and by the law given by the God in whom we trust," she said.
I was going to briefly catalog some of Michele Bachmann's
greatest congressional hits, but do either of us really want to read that? I say the living would envy the dead.
Bachmann also used the speech to thank her campaign's donors, Minnesota voters, her "prayer warriors," her family, her staff, military veterans and God. [...]
"No government gave me rights that only God can give, and no government can take away the rights that only God can give," Bachmann said.
It seems a bit awkward to pipe up with that one immediately after your nation has released a much-redacted report on how it tortured prisoners and while your fellow party members are scurrying to book themselves in front of television cameras to declare that they're glad we did it and hope we do it again, but Michele Bachmann was always an Old Testament sort of lawmaker. The Ten Commandments said to love your neighbor, but it didn't say anything about "stress positions."
So let us wish Rep. Michele Bachmann well in her new career of waiting to be indicted for campaign finance oopsies, and/or helping Marcus convert gay people to nongayness, and/or whatever else the future holds—wait. What's that?
Bachmann told Newsmax host Steve Malzberg that she plans to “weigh in with a female perspective” on the 2016 presidential election, reminding people that Clinton is the “godmother of Obamacare” and is to blame for the 2012 Benghazi attack.
OH DEAR GOD WILL THIS NEVER END.