I should have taken my 9 year old's Princess costume off Halloween night and drug out the Valentines and Valentine list. Is it just me? I do not see hardly any lights adorning the neighboorhood. I have dreaded and got it mostly done but hated every minute of
Christmas shopping. I have tried to knock the Grinch out of the area but he has a foothold. The bird had to take a backseat Thanksgiving because Santa Clause shoved him right into another dimension IMO this year. I know it is Christmastime because I saw the Macy's parade. I know it is Christmas because I have watched just about every Christmas movie made. I know it is Christmas because there are Christmas trees and canes in stores and have been placed there since about the 28th of October.
It is not that we live in Florida...We have lived in Florida for years. It is not that I haven't baked cookies, or fudge.....or decorated the tree or the house. I listen to the Christmas music !!!! It is none of those things. I saw the bell ringer outside one of the stores that wasn't even ringing his bell. He had a shirt displaying, " I am the Bell Ringer". I think I have seen one Salvation Army good soldier ringing the bell. I haven't seen any local stores having an annual food drive. I am sure there are charity drives happenings but I don't even see any reminders to Give to the Poor or Feed the Hungry in our area.
I have started asking people, do you feel like it's Christmas or the Holiday Season? I get the same answer. No...or not really...or Nope... or when you work all the time who has time? How about, nah...we are not doing much this year.
Maybe it is the torture reports, maybe it is the economy..Lord knows it isn't getting better for many.....and maybe it is the constant evangelist screaming people have taken Christmas away till it left us with the hypocrits harping on peace on earth while the police kill and mame folks. Maybe it is an angry nation or at least half of it. Maybe some of just had a harder than most 2014. Maybe the commercialism played one card too many after all this time and wore people to a frazzle but that wouldn't explain the lack of joy for people who never did buy into the big present contests.
No matter what.. No matter what was buzzing around me...how broke, how sad, how devastated, how worried, how left,,, how anything that was happening..that would knock any person right out of my favorite time of year never ever robbed me of this special time... till now and it has managed to stop or at least stall my cheer. I don't get it. My little girl has a Christmas spirit box she made for my husband who has never really enjoyed Christmas promised her he would capture the spirit this year... He either did or putting on a heck of a show for her and I feel it is the latter......I have been stumped. It does not appear to be just me either. I turned off all the news for weeks now... I took a break from the internet, including Daily Kos.. for over 10 days.....I was pretty much in the dark even down to Torment reports.....and focused on trying to get some magic back in the season but it isn't there and isn't in sight. WHY? I have had much harder times, much sicker times, much more lonely times. Tomorrow I plan to go find a charity which I have already been to, to donate clothes but see if I can't do something.to help out.....and hope the people in there are not as glum as I have witnessed so far. If that doesn't work... then I am going to suggest caroling all in this community. We have music in us.. My husband plays the guitar well.....I have to get this Season back.....for just a few days....I have to !!!!!!!! This may seem silly to some but it isn't to me. I go downtown which is not really downtown but our little rural town and look for some people celebrating and I can't find it. The lights are up and people do not even seem in a hurry...or busy...or happy.....The stores and shops are not crowded either.. I then think I will go to the Nursing Home...because I wonder if anyone else has been there....I got to get this back. I think this post would have been at home in the grieving room group because I miss Christmas.
This has nothing whatsoever to do with funds... or presents...it has to do with me killing the Grinch. If it were depression... then I would not be trying all this stuff to find Christmas...We gather that feeling from one another....but it doesn't work if folks are acting like it is September. One has to want that magic. I do. I feel like I landed on an alien land and I surely hope it is just not me... because that would scare me.
Thu Dec 18, 2014 at 5:58 AM PT: I found Good will on Daily Kos with this post. I gathered so much from your comments. I am feeling more Holiday in the home and now that I got a reindeer by the tail,,,,,,I ain't letting go.