Fess up. You know you got 'em. I'm not talking about the grand scheme of human beefs, but those daily annoyances that irrationally test your last nerve. Those little moments in life when you look upon your fellow man in disgust for offending your personal sensibilities. Pet peeves.
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I apologize in advance if you find yourself on my list of top-tens. I'm sure if you knew me well enough, one of my human quirks would make it on your top-ten list too. So crack your knuckles, pick your nose like you can't be seen behind your windshield and cut in line to read all about my pet peeves.
People talking on cell phones behind the wheel of a car
Seriously? I can only assume that you are a doctor giving instructions to some freaked out person performing a home tracheotomy with a penknife and a straw. No? Then just frigging drive already. That's enough responsibility right there.
People who stop in busy doorways
...or at the bottom of escalators or any ol' thoroughfare. Yes, gaining your bearings can be confusing, but step out of the way and pull yourself together. We all have places to go.
Talking with food in one's mouth
It looked pretty on the plate, not so much sloshing around in your mouth and flung hither and yon across the table. I can wait until you swallow.
Itchy labels
I want to know who first thought that using plastic thread to sew their label into my shorts was a good idea. I have a high degree of certainty that whoever it was never wore his own poke-you-in-the-ass underwear.
Movie talkers
You are not in your living room. You are in everyone's living room. You will get a stern glance from me and even a shush if I feel brazen enough. Then I will spend the remainder of the movie worrying you will catch up with me in the parking lot.
Hummers
No, not that kind of Hummer. Humvees. I hate them and everything they stand for. I have a game I play where I try to catch the driver's eye and just shake my head at them in disbelief for their irresponsible stupidity.
Wide sitters
Only the urban folk who ride public transportation will get this one, but they know it well. It is the phenomenon of the overly-testosteroned male who spreads his legs wide in a packed bus or train, making those around him scrunch to the side so as to accommodate his privileged junk.
Clam shell packaging
Have you ever been faced with the dilemma of needing a pair of scissors to get through the plastic fortress surrounding your new pair of scissors? Then you know the frustration.
This. Must. Stop.
Littering
I've been known to pick up a discarded can and run up to that person with an innocent face saying "I think you dropped this."
Pat Robertson
Lord have mercy. For me, this man is the fingernails on the chalkboard of humanity.
So what are your pet peeves? I invite you to unload tonight.
TOP COMMENTS
January 10, 2015
Thanks to tonight's Top Comments contributors! Let us hear from YOU
when you find that proficient comment.
From Yasuragi:
This comment by Gooserock in Denise's diary is just magnificent.
From a2nite:
I think this is why I think this comment by 4CasandChloh concerning why some people who are connected get away with crap.
From Denise Oliver Velez:
This comment by Mark Lippman gives some interesting perspective on the French left.
From NoMoJue:
Gooserock's long comment "I paid for the Age of Aquarius but all I got was this Compassionate Conservative t-shirt."deserves special recognition.
From BeninSC:
One of our greatest legacy comedy routines finds resonance, I believe, because, in its way, it connects to real kinds of exchanges. It touches a reality-truth, as it were, for us. See if you can think of the comedy routine I have in mind from this hilarious exchange Nebraska68847Dem shared in this comment, from my Kitchen Table Kibitzing diary last night!
From Steven Payne:
Challenge me tonight. Put up a peeve that puts my peeves to shame. Whoever wins this churlish, peevish contest gets nominated for Sunday's Top Comments diary. Just don't piss me off :)
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TOP PHOTOS
January 9, 2015
Enjoy jotter's wonderful PictureQuilt™ below. Just click on the picture and it will magically take you to the comment that features that photo. Have fun, Kossacks!
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