You never think that you will have to deal with something like this. Your younger family members are not supposed to die before you, nor are they supposed to die leaving four minor children and a messy home situation.
I'm turning to you guys for advice, because I do not know where to start, nor does my other sister who is far closer to the situation than I. The state this is happening in is IL.
More details below the orange heavenly cloud.
My sister and I were never close, to say the least. I have been pretty much estranged from her on account of politics and 'lifestyle' (ie skinhead) choices. Nevertheless, I was shocked last night to hear my other sister on the phone sobbing as she told me what was going on.
My sister died of an apparent heart attack yesterday afternoon. She was reportedly found unresponsive by her estranged, but still legally married husband. My sister and I are at least relieved that she will get an autopsy, because her husband has a history of meth uses and violence toward her and other family members. One of the kids is diagnosed PTSD because of him. My other sister is devastated because she was close to our deceased sister but was unwilling to see her often because the husband had threatened the both of them physically if she came around.
To complicate things further, the husband is an australian expat who is here only because of his marriage to my sister. I don't know if he is an active neo nazi, but that is where his politics lie. I'd love to send the piece of work back to Oz.
Another complication is that the older 2 of her four children aren't his, but are the children from her first marriage which ended when her husband died young of leukemia. They receive SS benefits. There is also property and assets enough to take care of the kids...as long as the husband can't get his hands on it for drugs (he already has done things like this, emptying bank accounts and running off with other women, my sister has always taken him back after, the fool).
We are too geographically distant to take too active a role, but need advice. Is there anyway we can contact the courts and go on record our misgivings of the husband as a father and agent for the children due to his abuse? Is there any insight on how to locate the oldest sibling's family in Pittsburgh? Is there anyway to see the property, and income stay with the children in trust rather than pass to her husband?
Thanks in advance for your advice.
Sat Jan 17, 2015 at 7:30 AM PT: Update: Thank you all for your outpouring of kindness and advice. My sister is there right now, bravely sorting things out and our parent's sisters, one on each side, are mobilized and are helping too. They all live nearer and know my sister and her children better than I, who is currently 2000 miles away.
I will pass on your wisdom and again, thank you for your care. <3 L