I have a coming out story. No, not mine, so as it's not mine and I want them to remain anonymous names have been changed. It was the nicest most hope-inducing coming out I've ever witnessed, and because these days the world is filled with so much despair, I want to share it tonight. Follow me below the orange powder blusher after a word from our sponsor...
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DailyKos was the first place I ever felt was my "online community" and over the years as mere usernames gave rise to real life meetups, YearlyKos' and Netroot Nations and more, it's become so much more. I'm also a member of another online community, Second Life. I've met a number of my politically progressive SL friends in real life, and since 2011 I've had the pleasure of meeting members of the SL live music community out here in RL where we are not all as tall and toned as our avatars would have us believe! Every few months musicians and friends gather in hotel conference rooms or people's houses for a Music Jam, and at the few I've been able to attend I've met wonderful people.
Because we come from all over the world, societal attitudes and politics vary, and often we tend to "leave those out" in order to focus on the music. One of my friends from the SL music scene actually a diehard "all politicians are the same, evil" believer - believe me when I say meeting him for dinner in Detroit at NN14 and having a total of eight of my NN friends come rushing up to me at the restaurant to say hi as I frantically make "ixnay on the oliticspay okesjay" motions was truly a unique experience :). That's fine, in general everyone has relatively tolerable attitudes, but you never know what lurks beneath.
Last week, one of my SL Jam friends (let's call him Dana) posts on Facebook that he has news to share. Dana said that for the past four or five decades he's known his gender identity was amorphous, and that he tended towards the feminine (Dana's not requested we change pronouns, so I am using what Dana uses at present). Over Christmas his wife Sally and their partner Steve gave him a makeover/photo session with someone specializing in M->F transformations, and then Dana and Sally went out to a gay friendly karaoke bar and had the time of their lives. Included in the post were pictures from that photo session, and I must say that was the most relaxed, glowing and happy I've ever seen Dana.
Dana said that if anyone needed to unfriend it was ok. Then said "I'm still the same person I always was. I just got tired of hiding half of who I really am... sometimes you've got to stop being afraid of what other people think of you and start being who you are."
I came upon that post late and scrolled down looking at the responses. Without exception they were positive, supportive, and praised Dana's courage and willingness to live his authentic life. Several made me smile for Dana and cry for everyone for whom coming out as their full selves has led to hatred and condemnation. The three that brought me to tears were messages of support and unconditional love from Dana's Mom, Sister and Wife. A followup message basically said 'Clearly I underestimated my friends and family.'
I am looking forward to this May, when hopefully I'll be able to hug Sally and Dana in person. Tonight I wish with every fiber of my being that all people will one day have the luxury of unconditional love and acceptance. Will have friends who value them as people, not an identity that wears worse than an ill-fitting shirt. Will not fear donning a wig and heels, or binding their chests, or kissing that man or woman in public because of what others may think. Will be able to stop hiding.
Formatting Top Comments tonight is our own BeninSC, who never hides!
Brillig's ObDisclaimer: The decision to publish each nomination lies with the evening's Diarist and/or Comment Formatter. My evenings at the helm, I try reeeeallllyy hard to publish everything without regard to content. I really do, even when I disagree personally with any given nomination. "TopCommentness" lies in the eyes of the nominator and of you, the reader - I leave the decision to you. I do not publish self-nominations (ie your own comments) and if I ruled the world, we'd all build community, supporting and uplifting instead of tearing our fellow Kossacks down.
Tonight's comment 'flags:'
Cinnamon flagged this comment from eagleray on measures imaginative parents take to deal with children not inclined to conform. Cinnamon then followed it up with a fine comment on dealing with a special needs child.
Flagged by maryabein, this comment by boatwright cautions against the perils Democrats face in talking middle-class, then supporting Wall Street.
From Yours Truly, brillig:
Our own Tara TASW shares how right the Right was about gay marriage, in Mark Sumner's My 2015 confession: conservatives were right about everything. The entire thread is excellent.
Top Mojo for Saturday, Jan. 17, 2015, first comments and tip jars excluded. Thank you
mik for the mojo magic! For those of you interested in How Top Mojo Works, please see his diary
FAQing Top Mojo.
1) That requires a letter of complaint to by hannah — 189
2) Nope. by paulex — 153
3) Great post! by paulex — 150
4) True. by Youffraita — 125
5) some years ago, a town police chief with whom by entlord — 117
6) Well, and what you need to know by Youffraita — 94
7) Your mom sounds so cool. My mother and by Leslie Salzillo — 91
8) Thank you so much for explaining this. by paulex — 90
9) I can't understand why no one talks about that. by IdeaTipper — 85
10) Bullshit. by jayden — 80
11) I don't have a problem with your decision. by Ginny in CO — 80
12) In the woods? by Eileen B — 80
13) Complain to the state ACLU office by rugbymom — 80
14) Why wasn't he like this before? by exlrrp — 76
15) It is difficult to imagine how by Crashing Vor — 71
16) With good reason. by Youffraita — 68
17) Certainly should get a lawyer. by DerAmi — 65
18) Ouch, I'm so sorry to hear this by BoiseBlue — 63
19) How do you know that was a real by hannah — 62
20) i keep my doors locked ALL THE TIME by TrueBlueMajority — 60
21) It was probably about eight years ago by Youffraita — 57
22) You are more than welcome. by Youffraita — 56
23) They found a Swifter route to Caturday. by jwinIL14 — 55
24) This sounds like bullshit by Jeff Y — 55
25) Oh Hai T-Dub! Happee Caturdai...Itz So Great!!! by leonard145b — 53
26) ye by CwV — 53
27) He was elected by PLS — 53
28) Actually the most important sentence in this by Phoebe Loosinhouse — 52
29) If you're afraid to report an injustice to the by fourthcornerman — 52
30) Oh, oh, very sorry, yes! It was 'In the weeds'! by Leslie Salzillo — 51
31) Ah...let me amend that comment somewhat... by Youffraita — 51
2015-1-189 Top Comments with Pictures, courtesy of
jotter!