We've got in touch with the runners-up in all the US Presidential campaigns for the last 80 years (and one guy who claims to be the runner up to the runner up in two elections) for their advice on how not to lose an election...
Mitt Romney (R - 2012) - Turns out only 47% will vote for you.
John McCain (R - 2008) - "I'm with Stupid" is a funny t-shirt, but no way to pick a Vice-President.
John Kerry (D - 2004) - Serving your country will come back and bite you on the butt.
George W Bush (R - 2000) - Make sure your brother is Governor of Florida.
Bob Dole (R - 1996) - Bob Dole does what Bob Dole does, Bob Dole cannot tell you what to do.
Ross Perot (Reform - 1996) - What do you mean who am I?
George HW Bush (R - 1992) - Don't accuse you opponents of things that make them seem cooler than you are.
Ross Perot (I - 1992) - You were just talking to me a moment ago, how could you have forgotten me already?
Michael Dukakis (D - 1988) - Don't tank.
Walter Mondale (D - 1984) - Don't have a female VP candidate in the 80s (This may no longer apply)
Jimmy Carter (D - 1980) - Don't run on being a peacemaker.
Unfortunately, the rest are no longer with us, so we had to use a psychic. As a sign of respect we used a copy of the US Constitution as a Ouija board.
Gerald Ford (R - 1976) - Don't pardon anyone, even if they tell you they're not a crook.
George McGovern (D - 1972) - If most of your own party doesn't like you, you may have problems.
Herbert Humphreys (D - 1968) - Don't support civil rights.
Barry Goldwater (R - 1964) - Don't oppose civil rights.
Richard Nixon (R - 1960) - Don't sweat.
Adlai Stevenson (D - 1956) - Don't run against Eisenhower.
Adlai Stevenson (D - 1952) - No, really, don't run against Eisenhower.
Thomas E Dewey (R - 1948) - Don't believe everything you read (in the Chicago Tribune).
Thomas E Dewey (R - 1944) - Believe everything you read (about Roosevelts health).
Wendell Wilkie (R - 1940) - "Wilkie '40: Because it's not fair that Roosevelt's getting a third term" isn't a great campaign slogan.
Alf Landon (R - 1936) - Don't belong to the party people blame for the Great Depression.
~ DUG.