GUS (Gave Up Smoking) is a community support diary for Kossacks in the midst of quitting smoking. Any supportive comments, suggestions or positive distractions are appreciated. If you are quitting or even just thinking of quitting, please join us! We kindly ask that politics be left outside.
You can also click the GUS tag to view all diary posts, or access the GUS Library (the archived version for now). Want to make sure you never miss us? Follow (♥) the GUS tag to keep GUS in your Stream and easily find the link to the latest one. It's just that easy!
A message to ALL quitters (and would-be quitters): You don't have to avoid GUS if you have a failed quit. We won't give you a bad time or nag you. We consider the failed quits as "practice" for the real quit.
Quitting smoking---like most behavioral change efforts---is hard. And most of us find this out the hard way, while we're in the process of trying to do it. The idea of quitting can make us apprehensive, sure, but until we've actually tried it, that's more of a vague, "fear of the unknown" kind of thing. People tend to think of it in the abstract, in the most non-specific terms, and they also tend to underestimate how tough it is to pull off. In our heads, it's like:
1) Decide to quit.
2) Some random plan, or not, whatever.
3) ????
4) SUCCESS!!
We'll fill in the details later, right?
And you know, if quitting is hard, STAYING quit is even harder, for most of us, at least for a while. Those of us who have tried and failed, or tried and succeeded and then slipped up---well, we know in the worst possible way how hard it is to hop back on the wagon, to face the uncomfortable (if short-term) realities of quitting, to go there again. Because unlike the first go 'round, this time we're all too aware of how hard it is, and that it's not going to be fun.
We're taught to be kind to others, but when it comes to ourselves, all bets are off. And so begins the self-critical spiral most of us get sucked into at some point in the process.
We're mad at ourselves for messing up.
We're angry at ourselves for not being as "good" as we'd hoped.
We're upset that we fell back into old habits.
We're frustrated that we can't seem to find the motivation to quit again.
We're sick of hearing our own excuses.
We judge ourselves to be weak, worthless, or a thousand other awful things.
We suck.
We suck so much we should just keep on smoking, because we deserve to be punished (not to mention poor).
There's a saying floating around the interwebs these days: "Be kind to yourself. It's hard to be happy when someone's always being mean to you."
It's true, you know. We're our own worst bullies. If we never give our self-critical inner monologue a rest, we get no relief from a negative mindset, and it's exhausting and counterproductive. It is hard to be happy---or succeed in your efforts---when you're hearing constant criticism, even if you're the critic.
So why not try this: be kind to yourself.
Cut yourself a little slack if you mess up or melt down.
Realize that beating yourself up or allowing your inner self to deliver a compassion-free running monologue filled with criticism isn't doing you or your efforts any favors.
And if you can't remember to be nice to yourself, listen to someone who will remind you that you're okay, and only human, and deserve to be treated with kindness. You can find those people here, at home, even on a random internet playlist.
Look, I was in full beat-myself-up mode last week when I got sucked into a crazy work vortex that had me pulling tons of overtime and basically ditching everything online, from my GUS diary to family emails and Facebook posts. I couldn't get out of my own way; I felt sad and tired and overwhelmed. I missed sending condolences when flumpty lost her poor kitty; I wasn't a very good sister or daughter or friend for lots of reasons. And I started telling myself off and dwelling on my own suckage, and it wasn't good.
So I stopped, and took a breath, and forgave myself for my [temporary] suckage, and decided to move forward and do my best, because really, what else can you do? We're all trying. We don't have to make it harder on ourselves than it actually is.
If you're in the habit of kicking yourself when you're down, it may take a while to un-learn that behavior and figure out new ways of thinking of yourself and the things you're trying to do.
But stick with it; it is worth it. Treating yourself with kindness can lower your stress levels, let you focus on things you can change, and give you the mental energy you need to weather any potential discomfort.
.
Who's Your Little Buddy?
1BQ, 2thanks, 3rdGenFeminist, 417els, A Man Called Gloom, Abra Crabcakeya, Actbriniel, addisnana, AfroPonix, aishmael, Alise, Alpha99, also mom of 5, ambeeeant, American in Kathmandu, amk for obama, andsarahtoo, angry marmot, Anne933, anodnhajo, aoeu, AoT, aquarius2001, arcadesproject, Archie2227, arodb, Arthur Wolf (in memoriam), assyrian64, Aunt Acid, awkawk, b4uknowit, BadKitties, bamablue, BARAKABETH, barnowl, b barrie, bdizz, beatpanda, beefydaddy18, betterdemsonly, BFSkinner, bgblcklab1, BigAlinWashSt, Bike Crash, BirderWitch, BJKay, bleeding heart, blingbling65, blue husky, Blue Intrigue, bluedust, BluejayRN, BlueJessamine, BlueMississippi, Bluerall, bluestatedem84, BoiseBlue, Boston Beans, boudi08, Brahman Colorado, breedlovinit, BrenP, BrianParker14, Bronxist, broths, BrowniesAreGood, bsmechanic, Buckeye Nut Schell, buddabelly, Bugsydarlin, bumbi, BusyinCA, cactusgal, cagernant, Carol in San Antonio, CathiefromCanada, CathodeRay, CDH in Brooklyn, Cedwyn, cee4, Cen Den, ChocolateChris, Christy1947, ChurchofBruce, ciganka, cinnamondog, citizenx, ClapClapSnap, claude, Cleante, Code Monkey, codobus, Coldblue Steele, Colorado is the Shiznit, coloradomomma, common green, Common Sense Mainer, congenitalefty, coppercelt, CwV, dadanation, Damnit Janet, dangoch, DarienComp, dauber, Dauphin, Dave in AZ, David54, deedogg, deha, demkat620, Dexter, Diana in NoVa, Dickie, DiegoUK, Dingodude, dirtdude, distraught, djMikulec, docreed2003, dolfin66, donnamarie, Donna O, dotsright, Dr Teeth, Dreggas, DRo, droogie6655321, Dube, duckhunter, Eclectablog, Eddie C, EdgedInBlue, edr, effervescent, elbamash, El barragas, el vasco, electricgrendel, entrelac, ericlewis0, Everest42, Ex Con, exiledfromTN, exlrrp, ExpatGirl, ezdidit, fat old man, fauve, fhamme, Fineena, fiona2, fishhawk, Flea, flumptytail, Friend of the court, fritzi56, FrugalGranny, Garrett, Gator, gchaucer2, GDbot, Geiiga, GenXangster, glpaul, gooderservice, gooners, Gordon20024, gravlax, GreenMountainBoy02 (in memoriam), greylox, grndrush (in memoriam), GrumpyWarriorPoet, GuerillaLiberal, GulfExpat, gzodik, Haningchadus14, Haole in Hawaii, HappyinNM, henlesloop, here4tehbeer, HeyMikey, hideinplainsight, High Tide, hiliner68, history first, hold tight, Homers24, Hugh Jim Bissell, hulibow, I love OCD, I said GOOD DAY sir, Illinois IRV, Im a frayed knot, imisa, Indexer, indubitably, indyada, Interceptor7, Inventor, Isaacsdad, ItsaMathJoke, itsbenj, itsjim, Jahiz, James Earl, JamesEB, janl1776, Janeo, jarbyus, jayjaybear, jbalazs, JBL55, jbou, Jeffersonian Democrat, jillwklausen, jmadlc55, jmonch, Joes Steven (aka Steven), john keats, john07801, johngoes, johnny wurster, jsfox, just another vet, JVolvo's Mom (in memoriam), jwinIL14, Kai99, kailuacaton, Kamakhya, kat herder, katchen, Kelly of PA, khloemi, Khun David, Kitsap River, kittania, kos, KrazyKitten, Kristina40, Ksholl, labwitchy, ladypockt, Lahdee, LamontCranston, langerdang, LarsThorwald, LA rupert, last starfighter, LaughingPlanet, Laurie Gator, Lava20, Leo in NJ, LiberalVol, lightarty, Limelite, Lipstick Liberal, litoralis, lmdonovan, lockewasright, Lonely Liberal in PA, Lonely Texan, longislandny, Lorinda Pike, LtdEdishn, lunacat, lunachickie, luvsathoroughbred, lying eyes, maggiemay, magicsister, mango, Marc in KS, MargaretPOA, Marjmar, Mark E Andersen (Kodiak54), marknspokane, marsanges, maryabein, Matf, Matt Esler, Maxiemax, maybeeso in michigan, MBNYC, mdemploi, Meteor Blades, Micburke, michael1104, MillieNeon, minerva1157, MinervainNH, Missys Brother, Miz Trom, mjbleo, MnRaindog (in memoriam), mntleo2, mollyd, Morague, MotoGP, Mr Bojangles, mrsgoo, mskitty, msmacgyver, MsWings, Murphoney, nannyboyz, Naturalized Texan, ncsuLAN, NearlyNormal, Nedsdag, Nespolo, Nick Zouroudis, NinetyWt, nokkonwud, NotGeorgeWill, notgivingup, NY brit expat, occupystephanie, oceanview, Ole Texan, OleHippieChick, Olkate, one pissed off democrat, One Pissed Off Liberal, Onomastic, operculum, OrangeMike, Ordvefa, Overseas, Over the Edge, Pager, paige, PaintyKat, paj1, palmer18, paradox, parryander, paulitics, peglyn, Pennsylvanian, Penny GC, peterfallow, phrogge prince, plok, Portia Elm, Positronicus, post rational, PowWowPollock, Proud Mom and Grandma, psycho liberal, ptolemynm, puckmtl, Purple Priestess, PvtJarHead, Qwisp, racheltracks, Radiowalla, randallt, ray bob, real world chick, red mittens, Reepicheep, regis, relentless, revelwoodie, revsue, Rex Manning, rexymeteorite, RiaD (in memoriam), rickeagle, ridemybike, rightiswrong, Rileycat, rincewind, rkex, roadlion, RoCali, Roger Fox, Rosebuddear, roses, rscopes, Rudini, RumsfeldResign, Safina, SallyCat, Sanuk, Sark Svemes, sboucher, scooter in brooklyn, Scrapyard Ape, seenaymah, Senor Unoball, sewaneepat, sfbob, sgary, Shahryar, sheddhead, shesaid, Shifty18, shmuelman, shopkeeper, sidious666, sidnora, slksfca, slowbutsure, smartcookienyc, smeesq, Smoh, snoopydawg, snorwich, SnyperKitty, SoCalHobbit, SoCalSal, sofia, soonergrunt, sostos, sowsearsoup, SpecialKinFlag, spmozart, spotDawa, SpotTheCat, StateOfGrace, Statusquomustgo, stiffneck, stonekeeper, suesue, sunbro, Super Grover, susans, swampyankee, Syoho, tallmom, tarkangi, Tay, tdslf1, teknospaz, The Eyewitness Muse, The grouch, The Technomancer, The Termite, theatre goon, TheGeneral, TheStoopingRabbit, tigerdog, TigerMom, Tim DeLaney, tiredofcrap, TomP, tonyahky, Toyotabob7, TracieLynn, TreeFrog, triciawyse, tripodisblack, trs, trueblueliberal, TrueBlueMajority, ttanner, Tulsonian, Turn VABlue, Turtle Bay, Tyto Alba, uc booker, UncleCharlie, Unduna, Unforgiven, ursoklevar, USArmyParatrooper, VA02 femocrat, Vacationland, valadon, Vayle, vc2, Vetwife, vgranucci, Via Chicago, Village expects idiot home soon, viral, vulcangrrl, waytac, webranding, Wee Mama, weelzup, Wes Opinion, Whimsical Rapscallion, willy be frantic, willy mugobeer, Wood Dragon, wolfie1818, Wordsinthewind, Wreck Smurfy, x, xopher, YellowDogInGA, yet another liberal, Zotz
Have you had some experience with the effects of smoking, and want to write a GUS diary or host an open thread? Please sign up in the Butt Can (Tip Jar), and name the day and time that works for you. The weekly GUS Diary Schedule is below, with regular hosts in bold. There's an open slot just calling your name!
Wed PM: Vacationland (Yo!)
Thu AM: anodnhajo
Thu PM: Open
Fri AM: flumptytail
Fri PM: Open
Sat AM: bgblcklab1 (yay!)
Sat PM: Open
Sun AM: gchaucer2
Sun PM: Open
Mon AM: aoeu
Mon PM: Open
Tue AM: gchaucer2
Tue PM: Open
Wed AM: Open
If you can spare a few hours, please consider hosting GUS. It doesn't have to be a permanent slot; it can be a one-time deal or just an open thread! Not sure where to start? Just ask for help in the Butt Can (Tip Jar). Seriously, it doesn't have to include specific elements or require all sorts of fabulous diary formatting skills. The regulars will make sure stuff gets carried over from diary to diary, so if you want to just tell your story or provide an open thread and host for a few hours, that's cool too. You do not need to be perfect, you do not need to become a regular, and you would make some quitters very happy.