Hollywood, fashion houses, and “health”-crazed mothers like Abby Pell and Maria Kang have made no secret of the fact that they don’t want us to feel good about ourselves—perhaps best exemplified by their continued condescension with regard to matters of the body.
No matter how you weigh in, “fat shaming” is one of the most dangerous behaviors trending in today’s society. But it’s hardly alone…
Most recently, it was fitness enthusiast Abby Pell posting a series of incredibly insensitive pictures on Instagram and refusing to apologize after being bombarded with complaints. Before that, it was Maria Kang irresponsibly championing the “fit mom” movement with complete disregard for how her patronizing words impacted the millions of people who read them. Before that, it was Fashion Week, diet crazes, the Academy Awards, television shows, and the commercials that punctuate them. It’s been an uphill battle from the beginning for those born out-of-touch with society’s superficial expectations, and spitting in someone’s face rarely makes them climb faster.
Pell’s most controversial picture depicted her daughter pointing at her mother’s exposed six-pack abs with widened eyes—accompanied by the caption "I have a kid, a six pack, and no excuse."
The surface value insensitivity was enough to make a decent person’s head explode—but even worse, the comment was a blatant allusion to an even more offensive post by Maria Kang showing off her own six-pack while her three sons smile at the camera. Kang’s accompanying caption was simply "What's your excuse?"
As if the world’s increasing number of overweight individuals have done nothing but make excuses; as if they actually chose this. As if, like cigarette smokers, they have it so easy that they can just “quit” and solve the problem once and for all. As if anyone would actually choose to be obese. The disrespect conveyed by Pell’s Instagram posts and Kang’s Facebook rants is so great that it makes one wonder what it will take for such offenses to be rightly labelled as hate crimes.
As established by the outrage (from both the media and American public), it would take an absolute monster not to be offended by Pell or Kang’s actions—even if neither of them intended to hurt anyone. But is our society overlooking other ways in which our seemingly-harmless actions are causing a great deal of pain to people who already feel like second-class citizens?
Just as the deliberate display of a low BMI and high muscle content serve to alienate and disenfranchise people whose nature-nurture combination led them to obesity, these nine common social media occurrences just might be digging someone else’s ditch a little bit deeper:
“Fertility Shaming”
While you’re gleefully celebrating pregnancy by posting pictures of your baby-bump and eventual baby on Facebook, how do you think it makes the woman who can’t have children feel?
“Accomplishment Shaming”
Tweeting about your scholastic and professional accomplishments might seem harmless—until you bother to think about all the people who’ve failed to achieve their goals, and how your wanton bragging is making them feel.
“Family Shaming”
The next time you post a selfie with Grandma or brag about the fun day you had with Mom, maybe you’ll stop for a second and think about all the people who don’t have any living grandparents, or whose parents have passed away. Every day, people lose family members, and shoving your good familial fortune in their faces isn’t helping anyone.
“Rehabilitation Shaming”
When you boast on social media about how many days you’ve been sober, you’re probably making all the people still fighting to reach step one feel pretty bad about themselves.
“Pet Shaming”
Pictures and videos of pets are fun and heart-warming to most, but to many they stand as tragic reminders that their dearly departed furry friends are no longer with them. It hardly seems considerate to stomp on a broken heart.
“Death Shaming”
On a related note, “In Memoriam” posts about friends and family members (furry or otherwise) who have passed away might help you cope with your personal losses—but perhaps you might consider the millions of optimists living in peaceful denial of the fact that death exists. Anyone who’s ever had a truly euphoric dream knows how cruel it is to be woken up, so why go out of your way to pinch their arms?
“Job Shaming”
Every Facebook newsfeed that has ever existed is riddled with complaints, critiques, and general observations about people’s jobs—most likely because they are composing their update from their work phone or computer. But what too few of us take into account is how such posts make America’s tens of million of unemployed individuals feel.
“Bald Shaming”
Can we just admit that Larry David was right about this one thing? Bald people are among the most severe victims of covert oppression in today’s society, and all these pictures of your beautiful flowing locks are downright offensive.
“Beard Shaming”
The Instagram pictures of your creative facial hair might play like gangbusters with the ladies, but the insensitivity of your actions can hardly be ignored. Different men grow facial hair at different rates and in different quantities—the only responsible party is genetics, and you just made all the peach-fuzz riddled men out there feel pretty worthless.
Seems like we could all stand to be a little more sensitive.
In the words of the incomparable Audrey Hepburn:
"I have no illusions about my looks. I think my face is funny."