Please print this out and carry it with you for future reference. You can use it to offer support and explanation to other parents when they lose a child or their child suffers a lifelong impairment.
[Insert parent's name], we want you to know that we are sad that your child, [insert child's name], recently [died/became blind/became deaf/is paralyzed] because of complications from [infectious childhood disease]. We know this must be a tragic loss for you and your grief must be overwhelming now.
However, it may comfort you to know that our little [insert child's name] is recovering well. At this moment, it may seem unfair to you that [he/she] will come through this illness unscathed while your child [is gone forever/will never see/hear again]. Life is unpredictable but perhaps your faith in [insert deity's name] will comfort and sustain you now.
Please know that [insert child's name] did not intend to give [infectious childhood disease] to [insert child's name]. If we had known that [he/she] was infectious at that time, we would never have let [him/her] attend [school/church/the birthday party].
You may think we are irresponsible parents for not vaccinating our child. We do care about our child, very much, so much that we wanted to avoid the minor discomforts and even the almost non-existent risk of complications from vaccinations. We knew that might put other people's children at risk, but being devoted parents, we focused exclusively on our deepest fears about our own child.
Yes, we know that every time [insert child's name] takes a bath, rides a bike, gets into our car, or swims in the pool, [he/she] is at vastly more risk than getting a vaccination. But those are things our child enjoys doing, things we understand, and therefore we are not overwrought by fears of the unknown. Medicine and science are mysterious to us, and with all of the alarming articles we read on the internet we decided it is wiser to ignore real, known risks for our child and yours in favor of the frightening warnings of non-scientists and non-doctors.
You believe we have a responsibility to vaccinate our child for the benefit and protection of all children. But we believe our child is so much more precious than anyone else's that it is the responsibility of other parents to vaccinate their children so our child can remain healthy and free of the trauma of needles and mild side effects. So think of it this way, our amazing and soon-to-be healthy [insert child's name] will be able to run and play and sing and dance again, a true free spirit, safe from those other childhood diseases because most other parents will have vaccinated their children. We are sure that your joy in seeing our [insert child's name] vibrant and strong will alleviate some of the sadness of your own loss.