Those of us here on Daily Kos are intimately familiar with Internet trolls and how they operate. And while we get our fair share of nasty trolls, I would argue that we have it better here than certain other dark corners of the Internet. The high level of discourse here is one of the reasons Top Comments exists, after all. But if you ever make the mistake of scrolling to the comments section of a local newspaper article or, God forbid, a YouTube video, you know how utterly awful Internet comments can be.
And there can be no doubt that women often face the brunt of trolling. The vile shit women who are outspoken about feminism or women's issues have to put up with from misogynist assholes hiding behind Internet anonymity is enough to make one's hair curl. Case in point, Lindy West.
West, as you may know, is a writer for Jezebel. In the summer of 2013, when we were having a public conversation about comedians and rape jokes, she appeared on FX's Totally Biased with W. Kamau Bell to debate the subject. You can watch the exchange here:
Long story short, her defense of the right to criticize rape jokes did not make certain segments of our population happy. So much so that she became the victim of a wave of Internet trollery. The tweets she got would appall anybody with a conscience. We're talking about some really revolting stuff, including rape threats. I'm not going to post any of the tweets here, but she highlights many of them in her Jezebel piece on the experience, in which she explains:
Let me be clear: I don't believe that previously non-raping audience members are going to take to the streets in a rape mob after hearing one rape joke. That's an absurd and insulting mischaracterization. But I do believe that comedy's current permissiveness around cavalier, cruel, victim-targeting rape jokes contributes to (that's contributes—not causes) a culture of young men who don't understand what it means to take this stuff seriously.
And how did they try and prove me wrong? How did they try to demonstrate that comedy, in general, doesn't have issues with women? By threatening to rape and kill me, telling me I'm just bitter because I'm too fat to get raped, and suggesting that the debate would have been better if it had just been Jim raping me.
If it's possible, it gets worse. One troll became particularly obsessed with hurting West. So obsessed that he started a Twitter account posing as her father--who had recently died of cancer--to harass her. The Twitter name was Paul West Donezo (Paul West was her father, and "Donezo" was apparently in reference to his death), and his bio read:
embarrassed father of an idiot-- other two kids are fine, though
Understandably, West describes it as the meanest thing anybody has ever done to her.
Now, our conventional wisdom here on Daily Kos and elsewhere is not to feed the trolls. Attention is exactly what trolls want, after all. But West did just the opposite. She fed the troll, and it turned into a life-changing experience. The story was featured on the public radio show This American Life in a segment about Internet commenting, and I highly recommend you check it out in full. It is well worth the listen (the transcript is here if you want to read instead). But I do want to spotlight part of it tonight, because--while the content is disgusting--there is something to be taken from West's experience with her vilest troll. Follow me below the fold...
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When West was first confronted by Paul West Donezo, she struggled with what to do. Rather than sit in silence and not "feed the troll" as we're always told, she ended up deciding to speak very publicly about it.
I wrote about Paul West Donezo in an article for jezebel.com. I wrote sadly, candidly, angrily about how much it hurt, how much that troll had succeeded.
And then, something rather amazing happened. An e-mail came in. From her troll:
Hey Lindy, I don't know why or even when I started trolling you. It wasn't because of your stance on rape jokes. I don't find them funny either. I think my anger towards you stems from your happiness with your own being. It offended me because it served to highlight my unhappiness with my own self.
I have emailed you through two other Gmail accounts just to send you idiotic insults. I apologize for that. I created the paulwestdonezo@gmail.com account and Twitter account. I have deleted both.
I can't say sorry enough. It was the lowest thing I had ever done. When you included it in your latest Jezebel article, it finally hit me. There is a living, breathing human being who's reading this shit. I'm attacking someone who never harmed me in any way and for no reason whatsoever.
I'm done being a troll. Again, I apologize. I made a donation in memory to your dad. I wish you the best.
Attached was a receipt for a $50 donation to Seattle Cancer Care Alliance, which is where Paul West received treatment.
West had an e-mail exchange with the troll, who ended up disclosing his real name (which she never released). He seemed sincere and genuine. It got her thinking:
Was he special? Or did I do something right? I wonder how he would tell me to respond to the people trolling me today. I wish I could ask him. But then I realized, I could.
She gave him a call. Yes, seriously, she called her Internet troll. And this is why you need to listen to the
This American Life segment, because when you hear the troll's voice, I think you'll be struck at how
human he sounds. Which is an odd thing to say--of course he's human. But we rarely think about trolls as people. Complicated (and yes, often quite bigoted) people who frequently have their own problems. Not that any of that would excuse what is clearly inexcusable behavior, because it doesn't. But, as West found, getting insight into her cruelest troll's world really helped.
West asked him why he chose her to torment. At the time, he claims to have been 75 pounds overweight, and West--who often writes about body image and acceptance--underscored in his mind how miserable he was. It's no shock, of course, that trolls often prey on people because of how low they are.
Man: Well, it revolved around one issue that you wrote about a lot which was your being heavy-- the struggles that you had regarding being a woman of size, or whatever the term may be.
Lindy West: You can say fat. That's what I say.
Man: Fat. OK, fat.
[...]
Man: When you talked about being proud of who you are and where you are and where you're going, that kind of stoked that anger that I had.
Lindy West: OK, so you found my writing. You found my writing, and you did not like it.
[...]
Man: You used a lot of all caps. You're just a very-- you almost have no fear when you write.
Lindy West: Yeah.
Man: You know, it's like you stand on the desk and you say, I'm Lindy West, and this is what I believe in. Fuck you if you don't agree with me. And even though you don't say those words exactly, I'm like, who is this bitch who thinks she knows everything?
When asked if West's being a woman had anything to do with it, he confirmed what she already knew:
Oh, definitely. Definitely. Women are being more forthright in their writing. There isn't a sense of timidity to when they speak or when they write. They're saying it loud. And I think that-- and I think, for me, as well, it's threatening at first.
[...]
Here's the thing. I work with women all day, and I don't have an issue with anyone. I could've told you back then if someone had said to me, oh, you're a misogynist. You hate women. And I could say, nuh-uh, I love my mom. I love my sisters. I've loved my-- the girlfriends that I've had in my life. But you can't claim to be OK with women and then go online and insult them-- seek them out to harm them emotionally.
West reveals that this particular troll, in addition to being overweight, had recently gone through a breakup and was in a passionless job. This was the height of his Internet trolling, when he created Paul West Donezo. Then, he began to make changes in his life. He went to graduate school and, as he became more fulfilled, he was no longer interested in trolling.
The conversation became much more emotional when West tried to probe the motivations behind the Paul West Donezo account. During the tearful conversation, he apologized again. West responded:
Well, you know, I get abuse all day every day. It's part of my job. And this was the meanest thing anyone's ever done to me. I mean, absolute-- I mean, it was really fresh. He had just died.
But you're also the only troll who's ever apologized. Not just to me, I've never heard of this happening before. I mean, I don't know anyone who's ever gotten an apology. And I just-- I mean, thank you.
At the end of the segment, West offers some thoughts about her experience with the troll:
It's frightening to discover that he's so normal. He has female coworkers who enjoy his company. He has a real, live girlfriend who loves him. They have no idea that he used to go online and traumatize women for fun.
[...]
People say it doesn't matter what happens on the internet, that it's not real life. But thanks to internet trolls, I'm perpetually reminded that the boundary between the civilized world and our worst selves is just an illusion.
And this:
Humans can be reached. I have proof. Empathy, boldness, kindness, those are things I learned from my dad, though he never knew how much I'd need them. Or maybe he did.
Of course, I'm not advocating engaging any trolls here. But I think West's encounter with a misogynistic troll offers reminders to all of us.
Most importantly, we're all human, even here on the Internet. Words hurt, even here on the Internet. And sometimes, staying silent about it in order to avoid "feeding the trolls" hurts even more.
Remembering our shared humanity here in cyberspace is a lesson even those of us who aren't trolls can sometimes use. It can be so easy to say something online that you would never say in person. Wee Mama's golden rule comes to mind: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
Please do check out the This American Life segment when you get the chance. It's all worth listening to.
And now, we're going from talking about the Internet's worst behavior to showcasing the Great Orange Satan's best comments. On to the tops...
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February 5, 2015
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