This week, your humble diarist was in country, and bore witness as the #LlamaDrama played out (on cable TV)—LIVE!
Hoping to win a Peabody Award (or even a Polk Award), I got back in my limousine, and ordered my driver to take the highway to the danger zone.
Unfortunately, thanks to Obamanet, we were soon caught up in the brutal online debate over #TheDress.
Suffice it to say, I was lucky to make it home alive; my chauffeur was not so lucky.
Now, I didn't watch my buddy die face down in the muck so that a guttersnipe like David Corn could smear a patriot like Bill O'Reilly—who has served honorably on the front lines of the War on Christmas.
In fact, I'd argue that Corn and his allies have been mounting the most despicable attack on a white Christian man since teh Joos (allegedly) killed Jesus.
They should consider themselves warned: You come at the falafel king, you best not miss.
Morning lineup:
Meet the Press: House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-CA); Russian Political Activist Garry Kasparov; Rep. Jan Schakowsky (D-IL); Former Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-CT); "Brain Surgeon" Dr. Ben Carson; Tony Messenger (St. Louis Post-Dispatch); Roundtable: Chris Cillizza (Washington Post), Helene Cooper (New York Times), Radio Host Hugh Hewitt and Maria Hinojosa (NPR).
Face the Nation: Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA); Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee (R); Jeffrey Goldberg (The Atlantic); Margaret Brennan (CBS News); Roundtable: Mark Halperin (Bloomberg News), Peggy Noonan (Wall Street Journal), Democratic Strategist Maria Cardona and Republican Strategist Kevin Madden.
This Week: Secretary of State John Kerry; Roundtable: Republican Strategist Matthew Dowd, Radio Host Laura Ingraham, LZ Granderson (CNN) and Cokie Roberts (ABC News).
Fox News Sunday: House Majority Whip Steve Scalise (R-LA); Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker (R); Roundtable: Jason Riley (Wall Street Journal), Former Rep. Jane Harman (D-CA), Kathleen Parker (Washington Post) and Charles Lane (Washington Post).
State of the Union: Former Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R); Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA); Former Israeli Ambassador to the U.S. Michael Orren; Others TBD.
Evening lineup:
60 Minutes will feature: an interview with FEMA Deputy Associate Administrator for Insurance Brad Kieserman, who claims he has seen evidence of fraud used in reports to deny Hurricane Sandy victims full insurance payments (preview); and, an interview with actor/writer/comedian Larry David (preview).
On Comedy Central...
Jon Stewart questioned Rudy Giuliani's love of America. (02/23/15)
The Daily Show:
Monday: Comedian/Writer Robert Smigel; Tuesday: Actress Sigourney Weaver; Wednesday: Athlete Viacheslav Fetisov; Thursday: Author/Journalist Gerald Posner.
And Larry Wilmore examined Islamophobia in America. (02/24/15)
The Nightly Show:
Guests TBD.
Elsewhere...
Idaho state Rep. Vito Barbieri got a lesson in female anatomy.
Barbieri, a Republican, was part of a three-hour House State Affairs Committee meeting on a bill that would ban doctors from using telecommunications to prescribe abortion-inducing medications.
Dr. Julie Madsen, a physician testifying against the bill, said at the hearing that she'd had some colonoscopy patients swallow small devices to let doctors examine their colons.
To which Barbieri asked: "Can this same procedure then be done in a pregnancy? Swallowing a camera and helping the doctor determine what the situation is?"
Madsen said no, because when women swallow pills, those don't go to their vaginas.
"Fascinating. That makes sense, doctor" Barbieri replied, as audience members cackled.
Meanwhile, at CPAC...
Sean Hannity was even creepier than usual.
Fox News host Sean Hannity joked during a speech on Friday about having "x-ray Fox vision" that enabled him to see that some of the women in the audience were pregnant. [...]
"I can look out in the crowd -- I kind of have x-ray Fox vision -- and I can see some of you women, you don't even know it yet, but you're pregnant," Hannity said. "It's not your fault. It's not his fault. Who's fault is it?"
Hannity then got "serious," without ever answering his question, and continued with his speech.
And, also at CPAC...
"Duck Dynasty" patriarch Phil Robertson diagnosed America's sexual dysfunction.
Addressing the annual gathering of conservatives, Robertson hit on a number of popular right-wing talking points, including his allegiance to the Bible and his disdain for House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio). The speech took a turn, however, when the "Duck Dynasty" patriarch began lamenting the United States' high incidence of STIs. [...]
According to Robertson, the "beatniks" and "hippies" are to blame.
"There is a penalty to be paid from what the beatniks, and it morphed into the hippies -- you say, what do you call the 110 million with the sexually transmitted illness -- it is the revenge of the hippies! Sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll have come back to haunt us in a bad way." [...]
"You want a godly, biblical, medically safe option? One man, one woman, married for life," he said. "And if you hate me because I told you that, I told you my love for you is not contingent on how you feel about me. I love you anyway. I don't want to see you die early or get sick. I'm trying to help you, for crying out loud. America, if I didn't care about you, why would I bring this up?"
Christ, what an asshole!
- Trix