Hello there.
I'm Wisconsin Governor Scott Walkers long sleeved, pale blue shirt. I'm the shirt he puts on when he has to go out and pretend to be just a regular guy - like when he's campaigning or feels the need to look open, hard working, approachable, trustworthy, and even (blush) honest (yes, that's the hardest "sell" of all).
You've seen quite a lot of me in the past with my long sleeves rolled up 3 turns. Even when the heat and humidity is so high that trees are wilting, I'll be there in all my long sleeved pale blueness to give Scott Walker that "man of the people" appearance he needs whenever speaking to the little people and pretending to care about them.
You're going to see a whole lot more of me in the future so I thought we need to get better acquainted.
Here I am
Here I am again
Here I am behind a curtain before speechifying
Here I am in Iowa during his CPAC speech
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I've even done ads. Here's one from last year (take note of the tie, too):
I work especially hard doing ads because it takes extra special long-sleeved-pale blueness to distract from all those lies.
Here I was all the way back to 2010 making all that BS look and sound good. I hope you noticed that Scott Walker wore the same tie back then, too, but I'll let the tie tell his own story one day.
I started out my life as just another run of the mill long sleeved, pale blue, poly-cotton shirt. My life got interesting when I was bought by Scott Walker, a very ambitious politician. He needed a non-white long-sleeved shirt - even in summer - so he could roll his sleeves up (3 rolls precisely) so it would look like he was hard at work or ready to go to work or whatever image he thinks it projects.
It was "The Look" that so many office-seeking politicians aspire to these days when their usual suit and tie isn't going to work (that look says "boss" or "banker" or "corporate official" or somebody that's up to no-good). Long-sleeved-pale-blueness is a look that says that this isn't your usual, slick, corrupt, lying, money-grubbing, career politician who sold his soul to the monied interests, but a regular guy ready to do the peoples' business. Well, at least promise to do the peoples business and then go and do what you really want after the election.
My long-sleeved-pale-blueness says, "Hey, Y'all. I'm one of you" without a single word being spoken.
It works like a charm, too, when added to other skillfully crafted image-making tools like a great big "vote for ME" smile, heavily rehearsed hand gestures, focus-group tested messaging, and a friendly seeming demeanor. I, in my long-sleeved-pale-blueness also deflect any negative thoughts that viewers might have about the enormous pile of hooey coming out of Scott Walkers mouth.
It's my job and, considering all of Scott Walkers history, I do it amazingly well. What I don't get, however, is much attention or praise for all my hard work and that's why I have come here. I want to draw attention to the power of my long-sleeved-pale-blueness and what I've done to turn a rather ignorant college drop-out into a 2 term Governor whose ardent followers lap up every work he speaks.
It's not him. It's my long-sleeved-pale-blueness.
I have secrets to share, but, for now I need to return to the laundry bin to be refreshed for another day of fooling the public. You'll see me soon. I promise.
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