We spend our lives lost in thought. Some of us, if we are lucky, encounter someone or something which helps us to stop identifying with our thoughts by teaching us that actually we are not our thoughts. But the most common human experience seems to be a state of being totally engaged with our constantly running train of thought.
Recently I encountered some concepts that tipped my world upside down. So before we get down to business, please let me apologize in advance in case I upset anyone's applecart. These ideas were challenging for me, especially since I had devoted a significant amount of time to certain spiritual practices; one of the characteristics of my spiritual path has been to have my feet kicked out from underneath me whenever I think I might know something. I’m not offering these concepts as absolute truth, but simply presenting them for your consideration.
Good evening and welcome to Monday Group Meditation. We will be sitting from 7:30 to 10:00 PM EST. It is not necessary to sit for the entire extended time, which is set up to make it convenient for people in four North American Time Zones; sit for as long as you like and when it is most convenient for you. Monday Group Meditation is open to everyone, believers and non-believers, who are interested in gathering in silence. If you are new to meditation and would like to try it for yourself, Mindful Nature gave a good description of one way to meditate in an earlier diary, copied and pasted below:
"It is a matter of focusing attention mostly. In many traditions, the idea is to sit and focus on the rising and falling of the breath. Not controlling it, but sitting in a relaxed fashion and merely observing experiences of breathing, sounds, etc. Be aware of your thoughts, but don't engage in them. When your mind wanders (it will, often), then return to focus on breath and repeat."
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There is a school of thought in direct path circles that we can become identified with our spiritual practices, which keeps us in separation. In addition, it is also proposed that we can become very proficient at mindfulness, at letting go of past and future while becoming very thorough at tracking our thoughts, and this process can become laborious and tedious leading to a rather flat state of consciousness.
It is also proposed that through the practice of meditation, we can become proficient at creating silence and calm space in our mind, but that these too can arise from effort and can be merely mind states.
In my case, I had many, many very personal experiences that convinced me I no longer wanted to have beliefs, because I found them to be limiting, and as I alluded to above, I've been shown time and again my beliefs were wrong. But on coming up against these new notions, after some self examination I was shocked to see how I was identified with my spiritual practices, and how I had developed beliefs about the practices I had been maintaining. When I gave it deep attention it seemed that the practices that had made such a difference in my life, now were actually getting in the way.
So I am experimenting by doing some things differently, and this evening I’m sharing just a little bit of that exploration.
What if we just sat quietly and remained alert?
What if we just looked around the room with new eyes, without naming things? What would we feel?
What would happen if we did not try to control or manipulate experience with “practices” in any way?
What would happen if we just relaxed and looked within ourselves to find our true home?
I wonder…just what would happen if we sat quietly, and simply, effortlessly turned our gaze inward and opened to the silent presence behind all thought?
Late afternoon shadows on snow