Going through cancer takes a lot of skills that I wasn’t sure I had, so I was surprised to discover that I did have a lot of skills that were required of me, especially the cerebral ones. I could easily research treatment options, make decisions about the ones I wanted and negotiate that with my team of doctors. I was able to stand up for myself politely but firmly. I could plan and schedule work and life around my recovery.
The cognitive tasks were a breeze. The social/emotional tasks? Not so much. I did learn to ask for help during the process and that’s something I’ve continued to do. I could not control my anxiety levels and still have problems with that. Xanax is my best friend and goes everywhere with me.
Comforting myself was not something I knew how to do in a healthy way either. It was not something that came from inside of me. Sadly for me, most of the ways I knew to comfort myself were not that healthy; drugs, alcohol and food. Lots of food; I’m not talking carrots here either.
Of course everyone needs comforting in their lives, some more than others. I would say that cancer patients go in the “more than others” category. So, how to comfort myself?
As I floated through the days of recovery, I found some things that just came naturally to me as ways to find comfort. I would sit in the sun covered with a blanket on a warm fall day.
I watched TV and movies that were colorful and had simple and upbeat story lines.
And as always I was surrounded by the most wonderful creatures to whom comforting seems second nature.
Further into my recovery I went on to learn Qi Gong, mindfulness and meditation. It’s amazing to me just how comforting a deep breath out followed by a deep breath in can be.
How do you comfort yourself? How do you comfort others?
Monday Night Cancer Club is a Daily Kos group focused on dealing with cancer, primarily for cancer survivors and caregivers, though clinicians, researchers, and others with a special interest are also welcome. Volunteer diarists post Monday evenings between 7:30-8:30 PM ET on topics related to living with cancer, which is very broadly defined to include physical, spiritual, emotional and cognitive aspects. Mindful of the controversies endemic to cancer prevention and treatment, we ask that both diarists and commenters keep an open mind regarding strategies for surviving cancer, whether based in traditional, Eastern, Western, allopathic or other medical practices. This is a club no one wants to join, in truth, and compassion will help us make it through the challenge together.