Dear Heavenly Father,
I did not see you at my campaign kickoff at Liberty University but I wanted to thank you personally for raising me up like Moses to lead this nation out of the bondage of big government. Once I am exalted to the presidency and repeal every word of Obamacare and abolish the IRS, I know that finally capitalism will be loosed here in America as it is in heaven. And then, I can finally introduce Iran to some “Shock’n Y’all”.
But God, I do need your help. Rand is really starting to annoy me. I know he went to a Baptist university but between you and me- I think he’s probably a Presbyterian. And Jeb. He’s Catholic! I don’t even think he would be allowed to attend my kickoff at Liberty U. So if you want your will to be done here in America, here I am Lord- send me.
I hope to see you at the National Prayer Breakfast. If you attend, please sit next to me. You know how I hate to study your Word with members of lesser religions.
Amen