We'll be off-line for a while starting tonight. We're back.
Daily Kos will be down for site maintenance beginning at 6 PM PT Friday, April 10 until approximately 9 AM PT Saturday, April 11. This will be a major upgrade to our infrastructure, but will contain no user experience changes when the site comes back online. For more details, see here. During the downtime, I'll arrange for Cheers and Jeers to hover in the night sky, glowing like an orange beacon of hope for all humanity and giving me the perfect opportunity to hurl pies at humanity from my Acme EZ-Villain blimp.
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From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Friday Vonnegut Blogging
Kurt Vonnegut died eight years ago tomorrow at 84. A good time to remind ourselves why he was…well…Kurt Vonnegut:
Dear future generations: Please accept our apologies. We were rolling drunk on petroleum.
Plato says that the unexamined life is not worth living. But what if the examined life turns out to be a clunker as well?
Pay attention, kids: THAT'S
how you do bed head.
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Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.
Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.
Being a Humanist means trying to behave decently without expectation of rewards or punishment after you are dead.
True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.
It’s perfectly ordinary to be a socialist. It’s perfectly normal to be in favor of fire departments.
Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you’ve got about a hundred years here.
There’s only one rule that I know of, babies---‘God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.’
And my favorite, which remains my personal motto:
I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different.
One can only imagine what the Indiana native would've thought of the "religious freedom" dustup. But he did say this: "Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith. I consider the capacity for it terrifying."
It's 4:20 Pacific Time. Time to get mellow and call it a week, whaddyasay. Your west coast-friendly edition of Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, April 10, 2015
Note: Due to the recent World War III-related developments, please add $50,000 to the shipping cost on any orders you want delivered to the chunk of the earth that got blown off from the main part. As always, gift-wrapping is free!
---Your Friends at Home Shopping Network Customer Care
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Starts tomorrow!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til Cinco de Mayo:
25
Days 'til California's
Bodega Bay Fisherman's Festival:
1
Percent of Democrats and Republicans, respectively, who think the U.S. should be negotiating with Iran over its nuclear program:
74%, 52%
(Source: YouGov poll)
Current oil inventory in the U.S., the highest in 80 years:
482 million barrels
Approval rating of President Raul Castro and President Barack Obama in a
poll conducted secretly in Cuba:
48%, 80%
Percent of Cubans who are happy with their health system:
72%
Number of party balloons a cow's flatulence could fill every day:
30
(Source: The Internet)
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Today marks six weeks since our Haley had "TPLO" surgery on her leg to compensate for a busted ligament in her knee that left her hobbling around. Two more weeks of "strict confinement" (including yours truly lugging her 50-pound self up and down the stairs to go out) and then fresh X-rays will reveal how successful it was. We're confident it worked like a charm, seeing as she's able to go on short walks without any sign of a limp. She's been a real trooper. Here's some fresh Haley, posing with her physical trainer Lambchop:
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CHEERS to Rodham rumblings. Big news: this Sunday there's going to be an announcement that Hillary Clinton is running to be the Democratic nominee for President of the United States. In other news, all churches have canceled their services that day because not even God's fool enough to compete with that.
CHEERS to cutting through the libertarian crap. It has not been a ready-for-prime-time week for Rand Paul, whose campaign launch has been marred by indecision, petulance, flip-flopping, mansplaining and rookie web site gaffes. But apart from all that, Dan Savage points out that this supposedly "new face of conservatism" is just a cookie cutter image of the old ones:
This is Rand Paul's logo. And
every other GOP candidate's, too.
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Rand Paul is a different kind of Republican! Rand Paul has all sorts of new ideas! New ideas like, um, opposing same-sex marriage, backing the "Life Begins at Conception Act" (which would make abortion illegal), and keeping marijuana illegal. Rand Paul also has a big new idea about climate change: it's not happening and Paul opposes efforts to regulate carbon emissions! Rand Paul wants to increase defense spending by $190 billion! He opposes Obama's nukes deal with Iran, and he fully backs the Supreme Court's Citizens United decision that allows unregulated and unlimited contributions to flow into campaigns! Rand Paul also supports the Supreme Court decision that gutted the Voting Rights Act! Paul opposes all gun control measures, has pledged to repeal Obamacare, and wants to use drones to police our border with Mexico and increase the number of deportations.
Rand Paul isn't like all of those other Republicans who want to do all of the exact same things Rand Paul wants to do.
But he can do them in a way no other GOP candidate can:
ophthalmolomagically!
CHEERS to landmark legislation. One week after the assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., President Johnson signed a companion bill into law 47 years ago tomorrow called the Civil Rights Act of 1968. The following housing issues became no-no's:
LBJ signs the '68 Civil Rights Act.
1) Refusal to sell or rent a dwelling to any person because of his race, color, religion or national origin.
2) Discrimination against a person in the terms, conditions or privilege of the sale or rental of a dwelling.
3) Advertising the sale or rental of a dwelling indicating preference of discrimination based on race, color, religion or national origin.
The law has worked really well up to this point---a huge success. And that can mean only one thing: John Roberts and the other conservatives on the Supreme Court will be striking it down any moment now.
We're gonna need a bigger boat.
CHEERS to the calm before the storms. Atlantic hurricane season starts in 52 days, and the meteorological elves at Colorado State University are out with their
2015 forecast. They're predicting a quiet year, actually: only seven named storms (including Billy!) and three hurricanes...one of them major. But more important, check to see if your name is on the
2015 storm list:
Ana, Bill, Claudette, Danny, Erika, Fred, Grace, henri, Ida, Joaquin, Kate, Larry, Mindy, Nicholas, Odette, Peter, Rose, Sam, Teresa, Victor and Wanda Sykes
Remember that the usual meteorological Pottery Barn Rule still applies: if a hurricane named after you breaks it, you buy it. I hope my Mason jar full of pennies will cover it.
JEERS to cerebral hemorrhages. They suck. Franklin Roosevelt died from one 70 years ago this Sunday down in Warm Springs, Georgia. His private Secretary Grace Tully recounts what happened here. A snip:
Can you imagine the right-wing freakout
if Obama started wearing a cape?
The shock was unexpected and the actuality of the event was outside belief. Without a word or a glance toward the others present, I walked into the bedroom, leaned over and kissed the President lightly on the forehead. Then I walked out on the porch and stood wordless and tearless. In my heart were prayers and, finally, in my mind came thoughts, a flood of them drawn from seventeen years of acquaintance, close association and reverent admiration. Through them, one recurred constantly---that the Boss had always shunned emotionalism and that I must, for the immediate present at least, behave
in his pattern. I did, for a matter of hours.
While FDR's generation got a rendezvous with destiny, ours got a rendevous with a fuckup named Dubya, and we'll be paying for it the rest of our lives---thanks a lot, fate. Now comb your hair and go
pay your respects. As always, regards to Eleanor.
Spoiler Alert!
CHEERS to home vegetation. I only have three words to describe the significance of this weekend on the teevee:
Game of Thrones! Sunday night the fifth season bloodbath begins, although I have to say I'm not real thrilled that HBO insisted on slapping Purina Dragon Chow and Band-Aid Deep Gash Adhesive Strip product placements throughout the kingdoms. But before that, tonight on HBO's
Real Time, Bill Maher's guest list includes Elizabeth Warren, Fareed Zakaria, Dave Barry, Ross Douthat and Christina Bellantoni. The most notable new
DVD release is the 1981-era crime flick
A Most Violent Year. Sports: Hooray---we can start posting the
major league baseball schedule again! (Boston faces the Yankees, who I've been told suck---is this true?) Your NBA action
is here and the NHL schedule
is here. Plus there's the Masters, and I really think it's a shame they don’t give Bill Murray a lifetime exemption to play in that. Taraji P. Henson hosts SNL. And after
Thrones, there's the series premiere of
Veep, and after
that John Oliver slays another tyrannical golden goose.
Now, moving on to mediocrity. Here's your Sunday morning lineup. Please hold your applause until the oil companies issue a joint statement apologizing for their role in wrecking the planet:
Meet the Press: Secretary of State John Kerry; Rand Paul; New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio; David Brooks tells fascinating tales of conversations with real Americans with at Applebeee's salad bars around the country.
Sunday on face the Nation: Amy!
This Week: Secretary of State John Kerry; Diabetes miracle cure peddler Mike Huckabee; Sen. Mike Lee (R-UT) hawks a book; gay-marriage supporter Laura Bush.
Face the Nation: Secretary of State John Kerry; Rand Paul; Senator Amy Klobuchar (D-MN); RNC gnat Reince Priebus; roundtable with assorted pundits with matching lapel mics.
CNN's State of the Union: Rand Paul and apparently no one else.
Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: Severely-conservative governor Mittens! And Fox is so desperate to find a Democrat to hate on the Iran negotiations, they're happy to bring in indicted Senator Bob Menendez (D-NJ). Roundtable with the usual ankle-biters.
Happy viewing!
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Ten years ago in C&J: April 10, 2005
CHEERS to the agony of defeat. USA Today has a sneak preview of next week's Senate confirmation hearings for Bush's U.N. Ambassador nominee, John Bolton---the guy who says he would love to take a buzz-saw to the top 10 floors of the place. A unified Democratic front (c'mon, guys...) and one Republican defector will sink him. Senator Chafee...would you like a plate of freshly-baked cookies?
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And just one more…
JEERS to mischief denied. Michael and I are upstairs neighbors. Under normal circumstances this would give us some great ideas for tormenting our downstairs neighbors…
But our downstairs neighbors are members of our landlord's family. The rudeness.
Have a great weekend! Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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