Well another week of work down. It's amazing just how much pain you can put up with to hang onto a job. Making it through each week is a personal goal, one I vow every Sunday night before the start of work Monday morning. What's so special about making it through a work week ? Well when it involves a person who lives with chronic pain it is not always a given that we can make it through the week. We have good days. We have bad days. Then we have absolutely HORRIBLE days. The big problem is we never know what is coming. We can have a good day followed by an absolutely horrible day followed by a bad day. We can have a couple of good days then a few bad days. Every day is like playing pain roulette. Where is that little ball going to land. Then sometimes we can start out on a good day with the pain at a nice moderate level and for no reason at all BAM you are in the middle of a horrible day. The pain is shooting through your body like a souped up pinball. Bouncing off all of your nerves and pushing the pain replay button over and over again.
It takes a lot to get through this for 1 week. Now try it week after week for years on end. It drains you every week. It is so much fun to go to bed feeling halfway decent only to wake up screaming from the pain. No reason just Mother Nature screwing with you again. Or maybe there is a reason like bad weather is coming or going or here. Or maybe you over did it the day before so you know you will be hurting the next day and yet you don't then BAM it hits you the day after when you weren't expecting it. Makes life interesting and it makes life SUCK. You can't plan ahead for anything. Best you can do is to say you might be there. Even for fun stuff like going to a ballgame is out. Hell those chairs would kill me and I may be having a bad day to begin with. Going to the movies. Nope not anymore. I can't sit through a movie in my own comfy chair what makes you think I could in those torture contraptions they call theater seating now a days. Going out to eat ? Nope I get it to go. The chairs and booths are made to get people out of the seats quickly. Not kidding they really are designed for that because restaurants rely on turn over of tables to make their money. How do you think they would feel with my back. A lot like a spike being driven into my spine is the answer.
There is one fun thing I am looking forward to. Pools opening. I can't wait. I would go every day if I could. I don't swim anymore but I do exercise in the pool for a couple of hours and it is like heaven. I get a little mobility back afterwards. Heck yes I am sore but I can move a bit more. I wonder if I could convince the insurance company it would be cheaper to put in an indoor, inground pool at my house than surgery ? Think they may go for it ? It would be much cheaper than another back surgery that is for sure. I could call it a therapy pool. But it has to be over 7 feet deep in one side so I can do my treading exercises. Hey I can dream can't I ?
Oh well 2 days off before I start another week of Pain Roulette. Maybe I can get some stuff around the house done this weekend. Then again maybe not. I don't get to take the weekends off from Pain Roulette. Just get to take off of work. Maybe I will spend the weekend just hanging around by my monkey tail. That should be fun. Hopefully it will be a bit cooler as well. otherwise I will be getting nothing done but sitting by the fans with a wet rag over me.