My 35th birthday is on Friday, which means I will become eligible to run for president... unlike this celebrity, who hasn't even reached his 30th birthday yet.
If you're waiting for me to make an announcement for my candidacy... don't. I'm not interested. I don't have the proper level of calmness for the job. Imagine John McCain's temper, but ten times worse. Not even fifteen minutes into the job, I would have already yelled the F-word at least a hundred times at Boner, McChinless, the Supreme Court, my staff, the family dog and cat...
Previous states, in publishing order: North Dakota, South Dakota, Alaska, Delaware, Maine, New Hampshire, Hawaii, Idaho, Nebraska, West Virginia, New Mexico, Nevada, Utah, Kansas, West Virginia, Mississippi, Iowa, Connecticut, Oklahoma, Oregon, Kentucky, South Carolina, Louisiana, Alabama, Colorado, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Maryland, Missouri, Tennessee, Arizona, Indiana, Massachusetts
As I promised last week, I will show you the full district map of all of the remaining states, along with close-ups of the individual districts.
1st District (blue): Jaime Herrera Beutler (R-Camas). Vancouver, Camas, and Mt. St. Helens. 52.3% Obama. A good competitive district. Tossup.
2d District (green): Dan Newhouse (R-Yakima). Yakima, Longview, and Long Beach. 51.7% McCain. Safe R.
3d District (purple): Open. Richland, Pasco, Kennewick, Walla Walla, and Coulee Dam. 59.6% McCain. Former NFL player and current tea party nutbag Clint Didier lives in this district. If he's still bitter after losing last year's Republican primary, he could run here. Safe R, no matter who the nominees are.
4th District (red): Pathological deluder Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R-Spokane). Spokane, Spokane Valley, and the Spokane Indian Reservation. 49% Obama plurality. Tossup.
5th District (gold): Open or Dave Reichert (R-Auburn). Northern Spokane suburbs all the way to the southeastern Seattle suburbs. 54.6% McCain. Reichert doesn't actually live in this district, although most of his current district makes up the western third of this one. He's not going to run in the new district that includes Auburn, so the only way he would remain in office would be to carpetbag here. Safe R with our without Reichert.
6th District (teal): Denny Heck (D-Olympia). Olympia, Mt. Rainier, and South Bend. 55.9% Obama. Safe D.
7th District (dark gray): Derek Kilmer (D-Artondale). Olympic and Kitsap Peninsulas. 54.6% Obama. Lean D.
8th District (slate blue): Open. Tacoma and Spanaway. 59.8% Obama. Safe D.
9th District (cyan): Likely open. Puyallup and Auburn. 56% Obama. As I mentioned before, Reichert will not run here. Too risky for him. Lean D.
10th District (deep pink): Adam Smith (D-SeaTac). Southern Seattle, SeaTac, Kent, and northeastern King County. 70.8% Obama. Safe D.
11th District (chartreuse): Jim McDermott (D-Seattle). Northern half of Seattle. 85.5% Obama, the bluest district in the state. Safe D.
12th District (cornflower blue): Suzan DelBene (D-Medina). Renton, Bellevue, Kirkland, and Sammamish. 63.5% Obama. Safe D.
13th District (dark salmon): Open. Redmond, Shoreline, and the eastern three-quarters of Snohomish County. 60.7% Obama. Former congressional candidate Darcy Burner lives in Redmond. She can finally get to Washington, DC, if she wants this seat. Safe D.
14th District (olive): Rick Larsen (D-Everett). All of coastal and urban Snohomish County. 61.4% Obama. Safe D.
15th District (dark orange): Open. The last sliver of Snohomish County is added to the four counties of the far northwest. San Juan Islands, Oak Harbor, Mount Vernon, and Bellingham. 56% Obama. Lean D.
17 Electoral Votes: Safe D.
Next week, we jump from 15 districts to 18 districts. It'll be a lot of fun!
CUBE ROOT HOUSE (338 required for majority)
States counted: AK, AL, AR, AZ, CO, CT, DE, HI, IA, ID, IN, KS, KY, LA, MA, MD, ME, MN, MO, MS, MT, ND, NE, NH, NM, NV, OK, OR, RI, SC, SD, TN, UT, VT, WA, WI, WV, WY
Best case scenario
Safe D: 91 (added WA-6, WA-8, WA-10, WA-11, WA-12, WA-13, WA-14)
Lean D: 52 (added WA-7, WA-9, WA-15)
Tossup: 17 (added WA-1, WA-4)
Lean R: 7
Safe R: 106 (added WA-2, WA-3, WA-5)
Total: 143 D, 17 Toss, 113 R
Worst case scenario
Safe D: 87 (added WA-6, WA-8, WA-10, WA-11, WA-12, WA-13, WA-14)
Lean D: 32 (added WA-7, WA-9, WA-15)
Tossup: 32 (added WA-1, WA-4)
Lean R: 10
Safe R: 112 (added WA-2, WA-3. WA-5)
Total: 119 D, 32 Toss, 122 R
CUBE ROOT ELECTORAL COLLEGE (390 required for presidency)
States counted: AK, AL, AR, AZ, CO, CT, DE, HI, IA, ID, IN, KS, KY, LA, MA, MD, ME, MN, MO, MS, MT, ND, NE, NH, NM, NV, OK, OR, RI, SC, SD, TN, UT, VT, WA, WI, WV, WY
Best case scenario
Safe D: CT (10), DE (4), HI (5), MA (16), MD (15), ME (4), OR (10), RI (4), VT (3), WA (17) = 88
Lean D: IA (9), ME (1), MN (14), NE (1), NH (5), NM (7), NV (8), WI (14) = 59
Tossup: CO (13), MO (15), NE (1) = 29
Lean R: AZ (16), IN (16), MT (4), SC (12) = 48
Safe R: AK (4), AL (12), AR (8), ID (5), KS (8), KY (12), LA (12), MS (9), ND (4), NE (4), OK (10), SD (4), TN (16), UT (8), WV (6), WY (3) = 125
Total: 147 D, 29 Toss, 173 R
Worst case scenario
Safe D: CT (10), DE (4), HI (5), MA (16), MD (15), ME (4), OR (10), RI (4), VT (3), WA (17) = 88
Lean D: ME (1), MN (14), NE (1), NH (5), NM (7), WI (14) = 42
Tossup: CO (13), IA (9), MO (15), NV (8) = 45
Lean R: AZ (16), IN (16), MT (4), NE (1), SC (12) = 49
Safe R: AK (4), AL (12), AR (8), ID (5), KS (8), KY (12), LA (12), MS (9), ND (4), NE (4), OK (10), SD (4), TN (16), UT (8), WV (6), WY (3) = 125
Total: 130 D, 45 Toss, 174 R