David Fahrenthold has compiled a list of all the things Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has denounced over the years.
Let's take a look, shall we?
1.) Dancing, in general. “Christian teens stay away.” (1973)
2.) Twerking, by Miley Cyrus. “Shameless and tasteless display of ... quite ordinary private parts.” (2015)
9.) Pop music, in general. “A knuckle-dragging sub-pidgin of grunts and snarls.” (1998)
11.) President Obama, for letting his daughters listen to Beyonce. (2015)
26.) Profanity used by schoolchildren. “What happened in America between ‘Good Morning, Mrs. Jones,’ and ‘Shut up, b---h!’? And who is going to do something about it?” (1998)
36.) Lack of religion in schools, as a root cause of mass shootings in America. “Should we be so surprised that schools would become a place of carnage.” (2012)
73.) Same-sex couples in TV commercials. “Every fear that people had has, in fact, come true. ... We’re now even seeing television commercials portraying same-sex couples.”(2013).
He's got 81, but of course Mike Huckabee continues to talk so I'm sure that number will soon be obsolete. Looking through the rest of them, it's easy to get an impression of what kind of president Mike Huckabee would make. Imagine Chris Christie roaming the halls of the White House stapling crucifixes to everybody's foreheads, that's about the gist of it.
But the State of the Union addresses? Those would be glorious. And now I'm depressed because Mike Huckabee will never win the presidency, and we will never hear a State of the Union address about these kids today with their dancing and pop music and insufficiently divisive product advertisements.
Ah well, we'll get over it.