From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Hooray! My Governor screwed himself!
Most of the Republican governors who got swept in on the wave of tea party fervor---Rick Scott (FL), Scott Walker (WI), Rick Snyder (MI), John Kasich (OH) etc.---have enacted their agendas with ruthless efficiency and a minimum of bluster. Take the sword, calmly slide it through the state's heart, smile, and get re-elected. No muss, no fuss. Nothing to see here but incalculable damage that will take generations to repair…please move along.
And then there's Maine Governor Paul LePage. He's a clod. He yells, he swears, he bullies. He holds distance records for flinging spittle during tirades. He admits to engaging in an
impeachment-worthy act of revenge on a political enemy. He's quick with jokes about anal-rape or bombing a newspaper office or the effects of hazardous chemicals on women's bodies. These days he pisses off Republicans as often as he does Democrats. Maybe the only man in America who makes Chris Christie look like Miss Manners.
And Paul LePage is also none too bright.
After vetoing dozens (and dozens and dozens) of bills only to see them overridden by two-thirds of the legislature, he thought he'd be cute and "pocket veto" the rest. That way the legislature couldn’t keep poking him in the eye with their overrides. But he and his staff were too clever by half, and now Democrats are laughing their asses off and Republicans are facepalming over his massive clusterfuck. David Farmer at the Bangor Daily News explains:
A pocket veto occurs when the governor holds onto bills after the Legislature is adjourned. The bills are essentially stuck in limbo. … But in this case, the Legislature has not adjourned, so according to the Constitution, the bills are now law.
There’s no chance for a real veto to be sustained. The clock has run out.
No, governor. This time, kiss ours.
One of the twenty-or-so bills LePage just kicked into his own goal involves financial assistance for refugee asylum-seekers, who LePage likes to call (with that sneer of his) "illegals" even though they're not. He really wanted to palm off the cost to local governments, especially Portland, and the city council here was scrambling mightily to figure out how to come up with the money. But now Mr. Dimbulb will continue to pick up the tab. That's gotta hurt.
For his part, LePage says the legislature was too adjourned, he's rubber they're glue, nuh-uh, did not, kiss my butt, I woulda got away with it if not for those meddling kids, and at the moment he's holding his breath until he turns blue. He can fume all he wants. But as the editorial board of the Bangor Daily News---arguably the most influential newspaper in the state on politics---gently points out: Rule No. 1 when in charge of state government: know the rules.
And here I thought summer was supposed to be the slow season.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, July 9, 2015
Note: Due to a delay in our condiment delivery truck, the C&J cafeteria will be substituting pickles with crawdad spleens from the biology lab next door. Not sure what we're replacing the ketchup with yet, but we'll find something over there. Have a great day. ---Mgt.
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8 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til the 28 European Union members meet to keep or dump Greece:
3
Days 'til the
Sequim Lavender Festival in Washington:
8
Rank of Alaska, North Dakota and South Dakota among states with the strongest fiscal health (thank you, oil revenue):
#1, #2, #3
Maine's rank:
#42
(Source:
Mercatus Center report)
Percent of doctors who say they work even when they're sick:
83%
(Source: JAMA Pediatrics)
Drop in the number of Americans using indoor tanning beds between 2010 and 2013:
2 million
(Source: FiveThirtyEight)
Percent chance that "trump" = "fart":
100%
(Source:
The Welsh via Kossack JBL55)
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
Last week on PBS's "NOW With Bill Moyers," there was a long interview with Frank Luntz, the Republican pollster and message-meister. Luntz recently advised Republicans to explain "the policy of pre-emption and the war in Iraq" by recommending that "no speech about ... Iraq should begin without a reference to 9-11." This would be despite the fact that the 9-11 Commission concluded Iraq has no connection to 9-11. Now you know why the administration continues to make this nonexistent connection. […]
I'm listening to all this because this is what the shrewdies in Washington pay attention to---you can't hardly be a political writer anymore without sources on linguistics, semiotics, message control and all this good business. It dates you something awful if you do old-fashioned stuff, like call politicos to find out how it's going.
---July, 2004
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Puppy's first experience with AC:
"
A timely reminder that dogs and hot cars don’t mix.
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CHEERS to a helluva way to wake up. Screw politics for a second. Just take in the morning view, courtesy of astronaut Scott Kelly…
So calming…peaceful….placid….serene….life-affirming. Okay, now back to our regularly-scheduled narrative: the world is on fire, the robots control humanity and we're all gonna die.
CHEERS to breaking up the big banks. Well, well, well. Senator John McCain is actually earning his paycheck this week. Along with Elizabeth Warren, Maria Cantwell (who I wish would remove the "t" because she really does most things quite well) and my senator Angus King, he's co-sponsoring a bill to restore the Glass-Steagall Act, which would…
Sen. Carter Glass of Virginia and
Rep. Henry B. Steagall of Alabama
…make big banks that are "too big to fail" smaller and safer and minimize the likelihood of a government bailout.
The bill, which they first introduced in the last Congress, would separate traditional banking with checking and savings accounts from financial institutions that offer services such as investment banking, which are riskier.
Glass-Steagall worked just fine since 1933 and it's time to admit repealing it was a dumb idea. (Right, Hillary?) But don’t expect it to get a vote anytime soon. For that to happen we'll have to repeal something else: the 2014 midterm results.
Those trains pack ya in like freakin' sardines.
JEERS to interminal delays. Yesterday cleaning woman Gladys Higginbotham pulled the plug on United Airlines' computer system so she could plug in the vacuum cleaner, and promptly
grounded the entire fleet. The result was a melee of confusion, short tempers, long lines, crappy airport food, brain-numbing piped-in muzak, stuffy air, crying babies and hours sitting in uncomfortable terminal seats. It was absolutely the single-most miserable day in those people's lives. What horror. This item has been sponsored by your friends at Amtrak.
JEERS to the root of all the universe's problems. Since the extended July 4th holiday tends to turn my brain to mush (e.g. I labeled yesterday's column "Cheers and Jeers: Thursday"), I often find it helpful to remind myself of what the White House is currently "under fire" for according to the beltway media and their lapdog pundits. The current list:
And also for playing "Ding-dong
Ditch" at 5 o'clock every morning.
ISIS, the Israel/Palestine impasse, the Wall Street glitch, thunderclouds, world hunger, Benghazi (ad infinitum), litter in national parks, unemployment, baggy pants, car trouble, Glenn Greenwald's twitter feed, the heat, the humidity, the drought, the floods, the shrinking number of daylight hours, Tom Selleck stealing water from fire hydrants, judicial tyranny, Greece's troubles, Bristol Palin's fall off the abstinence wagon, the grounding of all those United flights, almond prices, Americans not scoring more than 5 measly goals at the Women's World Cup, chaos in the helium reserve, the giant asteroid headed straight for us, plus the one next to it, and the size of this font.
I'll post the second half of the list tomorrow. Assuming he doesn't get impeached over those asteroids first.
CHEERS to scaly discoveries. Imagine how cool it would be to have a dinosaur named after you. That's what happened to fossil hunter Wendy Sloboda upon the discovery of a new relative of the triceratops which was promptly named---wait for it---the Wendiceratops:
"Moo."
The beast was 20 feet long, weighed more than a ton, and creationists say it was the dinosaur Jesus rode to work when his other dinosaur was in the shop.
JEERS to sudden departures. When you're a fierce and legendary general who becomes President of the United States, it's gotta be a little embarrassing to die from eating bad fruit. But that's what happened on July 9, 1850 to "#12" aka Zachary Taylor when he expired days after contracting severe gastroenteritis. As it often did back then, the medical community hastened his demise:
This was the last cherry stem
tied by Taylor with his tongue.
According to Dr. Samuel Eliot Morrison, “In the unhealthy climate of Washington, with its open sewers and flies, Taylor came down with cholera morbus, or acute gastroenteritis as it is now called.” He might have recovered, Dr. Morrison theorized, but Taylor's doctors “drugged him with ipecac, calomel, opium and quinine (at 40 grains a whack), and bled and blistered him too. On July 9, he gave up the ghost.”
Ultimately what got him was a tainted combination of ice milk and cherries. You might say he went out with a bing.
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Ten years ago in C&J: July 9, 2005
CHEERS to the morning-after pill. A new study shows it doesn't increase unsafe sex and thus it should continue to be available over the counter. In traditional fashion, the right-wing fundy knuckledraggers will give the study careful thought...as they wipe their butts with it in the outhouse.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to longevity. The world's oldest man has died from an acute case of being the world's oldest man. Sakari Momoi of Japan lived to be 112. The year he was born…
A life longly lived.
President Teddy Roosevelt traveled to San Francisco
The Wright brothers took their first flight
The Model A went into production
Jane Addams became VP of the Women's Trade Union League
George Orwell was born
Major League baseball became a thing
Said Yasutaro Koide, who now becomes the oldest man alive at 112: "Excellent. My plan is working perfectly."
Have a nice Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"Republicans need to incorporate what is healthy about Cheers and Jeers.”
---Bill Kristol
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