In creating this Behavioral Guide for Republicans, my goal is to address a certain rabble-rousing Republican candidate for president whose name rhymes with "rump." We should be able to talk about the campaign and the issues therein without constantly trumpeting said candidate’s name, right?
It seems like the GOP, and a good chunk of the media, would be well served by reading a parenting handbook or two. (Any parenting handbook within the last 100 years will do.) We are feeding the beast, pouring gas on the fire and playing into this vast publicity scheme that will result in higher speaking fees and better reality television deals for the Candidate-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named. (At least I hope all that results from this feeding frenzy are better t.v. deals and speaking fees. God save us if the reality show takes place in the Oval Office.)
Let’s hope the cable news circus around the gilded real estate developer subsides and important issues that are, y’know, presidential and stuff, move to the forefront. (Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to take place until 2505, after all.) Enjoy the cartoon and be sure to share, comment and dig into the links behind the ‘toon!
[1950s instructional/educational voice]
Trying to raise a candidate can be frustrating for even the most experienced political party.
You may need to set boundaries for a misbehaving candidate as he grows.
Don’t reward him with attention when he acts out. Attention only encourages more bad behavior.
While self-esteem is a good thing, too much can lead to egotism, narcissism, even megalomania.
As your candidate grows, he will realize not all people are just like him, and he may lash out or resort to name-calling.
Be decisive when you reprimand!
A candidate’s mind is still developing, and without proper discipline, behavioral problems will worsen.
Though your chip off the ol’ block is leading the pack in polls and demagoguery, his acting out may start with old-fashioned racism, then grow into picking fights with old-fashioned prisoners-of-war, then, who knows . . .
We know it’s difficult to deal with behavioral problems, acting out and bullying— just remember, if you spare the rod, you spoil the candidate . . . and the party.