I posted on my Facebook page right after his speech last night and it ended up getting shared a lot so, I just thought I'd repost it here. It takes on a different form of ridiculousness when seeing it in writing. Comedy? Tragedy? Horror? All three? You decide.
In case you missed Trump's stream of consciousness Alabama stump speech, I took notes from beginning to end, much of it verbatim.
1. I love a Billy Graham.
2. Mexicans are scary.
3. My hair is real.
4. Politicians suck.
5. Build a big ol' wall.
6. Jeb sucks, Hillary sucks.
7. Jeff Sessions rules.
8. Mexicans are scary.
9. I'm incredible, my poll numbers are the shit.
10. I can't be bought because I'm super rich.
11. Maybe I will take the political bribes but, I won't do what they say.
12. Obama & Kerry sucks.
13. The Art Of The Deal is the best book besides the bible.
14. I bought a bunch of tv's from South Korea.
15. (Chris Hayes briefly interjects to correct Trump's jumbles on recent American history.)
16. Asks crowd if they like Fox News (cheers) then asks if they like CNN (boos) then MSNBC (louder boos)
17. I sued Univision.
18. "Chyna"
19. Anchor Babies
20. I'm going make us rich, and great.
21. I thought an audience member shouted "Trump Power!".....wait a min, rewound it a few times...Yep, that was actually "white power!" That really just happened.
22. Going to make us great.
23."Chyna"
24. Japan
25. Everyone has great leaders but us.
26. "Chyna"
27. More "Chyna"
28. I will appoint the "meanest, smartest" ambassadors, like my friend Carl.
29. "Chyna!"
30. Megan Kelly reference.
31. I know a lot of stuff.
32. "Chyna"
33. Free trade sucks without good negotiators.
34. Nabisco is moving to Mexico.
35. I went to the Warten School Of Finance.
36. If Jeb becomes President he'll just be a corporate stooge.
37. Asks crowd who do you want negotiating for you, Trump or Bush? Crowd goes wild.
38. I am the toughest guy. Our military will be the most biggest and powerful ever. (Crowd erupts into a U-S-A chant.)
39. Vets love me. Says current politicians have done nothing for the vets.
40. We're tired of nice people.
41. The press is dishonest, they're the worst.
42. The press has started treating me better.
43. The Art Of The Deal plug.
44. The Apprentice shout out.
45. We can't beat ISIS, we can beat ISIS.
46. I love Israel.
47. I'll keep our corporations here.
48. The country is running on fumes. There's nothing here.
49. We need our borders, we need to make great deals.
50. Kerry sucks for injuring himself in a bicycle race. I will never be in a bicycle race.
51. Can you believe this?
52. I'm going to repeal and replace Obamacare.
53. Says the insurance companies are the biggest beneficiaries of Obamacare.
54. Trade, I'm going to fix it. Healthcare I'm going to fix it, women's issues I'm going to fix it.
55. I cherish women.
56. I'm going to make America so strong, so powerful, so loved.
57. Obama is the great divider.
58. Look at Baltimore, Ferguson.
59. I'm gonna be the greatest job President ever.
60. You're gonna love it.
61. You're gonna love it.
62. You're gonna love it.
63. Thank you good night.
64. Twisted Sister song plays.