It’s not a good day. The overcast gloom continues (not the rain, though) – and it’s brought humidity and heat along with it for today.
I didn’t sleep well. I frequently don’t, but usually it’s in a site where there’s a huge room packed with pads, with some kind of barrier set between the men’s section and the women’s section. At Trinity and at Our Saviour’s (which I mentioned yesterday) the barrier is made up of rolling walls covered in burlap, sometimes with posters and photos tacked to them. At St Isidore’s (the Monday night site) the barrier is made up of a couple of banquet tables, turned onto their sides.
Those banquet tables don’t block a lot of noise. And holy CRAP can a gymnasium filled with men sleeping make a LOT of noise.
Yesterday’s site was Redeemer Lutheran (Hinsdale, IL) where they place the women (and families) in Sunday School rooms – usually 5 to 9 people per room. I usually sleep ok there. The eating, not so much – the best thing I can say about their food is that it’s free and it’s offered with love. The table arrangement does not allow for skinny people to pass between tables, much less fat people like me. I usually just sit by my pad and read, rather than deal with the seating, moving about (to get my meal) and trying to pass between tables.
For some reason, the complaints at Redeemer L. seem to escalate more than they do at other locations, and there are more arguments and generally bad tempers. Having passed another night of that, it feels like it will never end, and I can’t take much more of it.
There was a new woman at Redeemer L. last night. She grabbed the pad next to mine, and also didn’t feel like eating, so we sat and talked. She has a part time job (20 hours a week) and 3 kids (the oldest on her own, the two younger with their dad). We were talking about PADS in general when a woman came in from dinner and started interrupting. The new woman asked how long I’d been at PADS (just about a month – less the week my boss put me up near my part time job location). Then she asked the interrupter (who we’d just learned is 28) – and she said she’s been in PADS for three years.
Homeless three years of 28 – and she’s not in the employment classes, working at the computer lab every week, trying to find something? But as I mentioned in previous diaries, I’ve come to the conclusion that some people think that living in the shelter is fine – and these are frequently the people who complain that they didn’t get a potato with their dinner (and that other guy did), or that someone is in line who shouldn’t be, etc. Or, there was the guy standing outside a site earlier this week, looking at some mail. “A bill from the city of Montgomery for an ambulance - $166,” he announced. Then, as he started to tear up the paper, “I’m HOMELESS!” Apparently, he expected the invoice to realize that, and didn’t think that by providing his mailing address, he’d be charged for the services he was provided. Sometimes it just makes my head hurt.
I need to get my van ready to sleep in - I really should have it in that condition tonight, though that’s not going to happen. The “vehicles allowed” site for tonight allows 35 (count them… thirty-five) clients – that’s including families. Last week they had at least 14 family members there – including the mother and daughter who departed at 10:30, and the mother and fiancée who threatened and swore at the 3 girls for about 30 minutes to get them out of bed early. (So, IF I do get a spot tonight, I’m probably not looking forward to a fantastic sleep.)
The depression is hitting pretty bad – it’s off cycle, because usually I have these feelings during PMS – and I’m definitely beyond that. So now I don’t know if it’s hormonal (which is typical) & going to pass in a matter of hours, or if it’s more, and just going to get worse.
I’m reading a LOT. I’m averaging a book a day – mostly mystery series books, but some others as well. I’m still applying for lots of jobs, as well, and looking forward to meeting with the volunteer who went over my resume, tomorrow. Maybe it’s time to start finding some fantasy stories, and try to reinvent my reality.
Unfortunately, I think that’s what the guy who can’t pay for the ambulance tried to do… And reality keeps crashing in and spoiling things.
© 2015 sheddhead – not to be used without written consent of the author, unless quoting portions of this diary on DailyKos, with links back to the original quotation