Once, on a trip to Yellowstone Park, I saw a couple try to pose their adorable child on the back of an elk for a picture. It didn't go well. You hear the same thing all the time: people who thought it would be cute to sneak a sandwich to Smokey, or pick up that "dead" snake, or simply poke that sleepy old 'gator. There's a name for people who don't have the sense to leave something alone that would be better left alone. That name is "Stumpy."
But Republicans, they thought they had this all under control. They thought they could not only get away with waking up the Wild Things, they thought they could bang a few drums, wave a little raw meet, and conduct the rumpus on command. Only ... it's not going that way ... head below the fold and find out more.
Want proof? Take a look at the latest national poll.
Donald Trump: 29%
Ben Carson: 15%
Jeb Bush: 9%
Carly Fiorina: 8%
In other words, the top four Republican themes are:
1) I'm racist, sexist, ignorant, belligerent and don't care who knows it!
2) See, I'm not a racist. I just hate Obama. And women.
3) Lookee! It's someone who actually held an office, and I haven't stoned him. Yet.
4) See, I'm not against women. I just hate Obama. And poor people. And I'm racist.
For decades, Republicans have been thriving on a theme of Me-firstism and an insistence that it's the sworn duty of every American to fear those who have less than them. However, since 2000 there's an increasing dependence on... The Crazy. On the idea that facts don't matter, that justice doesn't matter, that rules don't matter. All that matters is what's in your guts. Well, and your bank account. All that matters is guts, money. And of course, skin color.
Republicans unleashed the tide of unreasoning fear and distrust, then they climbed up onto their boards and began to surf. Hang ten, Ted! Cowabunga, Rand!
Only, that wasn't so much a wave. It was more a tsunami.
Hey, let's look at some more of that poll.
Ted Cruz: 6%
Scott Walker: 5%
Mike Huckabee: 5%
Chris Christie: 2%
Rand Paul: 1%
Rick Perry: 1%
Lindsey Graham: Less than 1%
Bobby Jindal: Less than 1%
Wait, what's this sticking to the bottom of my shoe? Why it's Rand Paul's presidential chances! Aren't these the guys who are supposed to be running this show? Isn't this their circus?
In the latest PPP poll of Republican presidential candidates, not only are three of the top four contenders people who have never held any previous office, those three candidates have 52% of the vote. The majority of Republicans, let me say that again, the majority of Republicans, are rejecting all Republican office holders.
Aww honey, don't you look cute up there on that elk. Hold still now.