From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Netroots Nation Auction Looms!
Tomorrow morning, Netroots Nation Development Director Karen Kolber will, in an undisclosed location, open the briefcase that's handcuffed to her wrist, punch in the secret code, turn the key, snip the blue wire---NO WAIT THE YELLOW WIRE NOT THE BLUE WIRE!!!---push the red button, and launch the 2015 Fall Netroots Nation Online Auction:
This year the Auction begins Thursday, September 10th and runs through September 16th. It's because of donations from friends like you over the years that we're able to provide high quality programming both at our annual Convention [in St. Louis next July] and regional events.
Thanks so much for being such an important part of our success and helping to make this year's Auction the biggest ever!
For this year's auction to top last year's, they're looking for donations from
you and
you and
you. So make a note to rifle through your stuff and find things that'll make people go "Oooh!" and/or "Ahhh!" but preferably not "Gaahhh my face is melting!" (Also: do not go through other people's stuff unless you're absolutely sure you won’t get caught, especially if you're taking conspicuous items like, say, a bridge or Kim Davis's jail cell.)
The online bidding starts tomorrow
Think political memorabilia, books, clothing, pink flamingos, jewelry, autographs, trips, chocolate, art, services (please make sure your service is legal in at least one state), games, collectibles, etc. C&J is donating a complete set of official 2015 collectible wooden White House Easter eggs, mint-condition
Star Wars comics, and collectible shiny objects from the U.S. Mint.
Then click on this link to upload details about your donation. Netroots Nation will contact you once they've reviewed your submission(s). Questions? Just e-mail Karen Kolber at: Karen [at] netrootsnation.org. And no, you don’t have to submit them today---items can be added throughout the length of the auction.
To check out the items up for bid so far, click here. Auction starts tomorrow morning. Bring a helmet. It could get rough.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Note: "Make America Grate Again!" ---A message from your friends at the National Council of Crazy Cheese People
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10 days!!! (With special guest
grand marshal Kim Davis???)
By the Numbers:
Days 'til NFL brain injury season begins (Patriots vs. Steelers):
1
Days 'til the
inaugural Louisville Pride Festival:
10
Percent of medical interns who meet the criteria for suffering from clinical depression during their first year:
46%
(Source: Time)
Percent fewer cops killed with handguns in states with strong background-check systems in place:
48%
(Source: University of Illinois study)
Percent chance that the Transportation Department ranks Hawaiian Airlines as the best airline for punctuality, and Spirit Airlines the worst:
100%
Current polling for the Conservative party, Liberal party and New Democratic party, respectively, ahead of Canada's Oct. 19 elections:
29%, 28%, 33%
(Source: CBC poll via
Bloomberg)
Amount by which California cities cut their combined water use in July, beating
the 25% goal:
31%
(Source: AP)
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 178 (including 3 Wild Weathers and 1 possible End Times date). Soul Protection Factor 16 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Saved by The Rock
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JEERS to the cowardice of your convictions. As Mike Huckabee and Ted Cruz rushed to Kentucky to kick off their Rally To Prove We Have No Idea How The Judicial System Works, federal Judge David Bunning took pity on Kim Davis's jailers and released her. (There were some heavy-duty strings attached: she has to let her deputies issue marriage licenses and those deputies have to file reports on their license activity every two months.) I'll spare you the horror of a sobbing Davis stepping up on the stage to the strains of Survivor's Eye of the Tiger (yes, Survivor quickly and publicly objected to the use of their song in that venue) and instead let you gaze upon the crowd in all its confederate-flag-waving, holocaust-comparing glory:
Police estimated attendance at 300 people. Constitutional scholars estimated attendance at 110 brain cells.
And Maria makes 42!!!
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CHEERS to welcoming the stragglers. It took 'em awhile to hit their stride, but four Democratic senators finally crossed the Iran nuclear agreement finish line yesterday, announcing their support for the deal:
Gary Peters of Michigan, Richard Blumenthal of Connecticut, Ron Wyden of Oregon and
Maria Cantwell of Washington. That gives Team Peace 42 votes and theoretically a path to approval
via filibuster. Meanwhile, Donald Trump will headline
a rally on Capitol Hill today to try and scuttle the scuttle-proof Iran agreement. Joining him will be his future Energy Secretary Sarah Palin, who over the weekend told CNN that everybody in this country should "
speak American." So, of course, during her speech she'll have someone standing at her side to translate from whatever the hell she speaks.
JEERS to the Founding Flip-floppers. On this date in 1776, the Continental Congress, caving to the pressure of cutthroat lobbyists and industrialist billionaires, officially changed our country's name from "United Colonies" to "United States." Of course, the name has changed again in recent years. Today we call it, "United? Ha!"
Great. He's back.
CHEERS to putting on your best frowny face and getting down to business. Two more signs that summer vacation season has ended and folks are heading back to work: Congress is back in session and daycares are filling up again. There will be lots of crying and stamping of feet and screams of
"Mine Mine Mine!" as a roomful of whiny brats hurl childish insults and feast on paste and magic marker fumes. And if I was a bettin' man I'd predict the toddlers at daycare will probably act the same way.
CHEERS to the home of 55 Awesome Electoral Votes. On September 9, 1850, California became the 31st state in the union. And if there's anything---anything at all like, say, a glass of water---that the rest of us can do to make you Golden Staters more comfortable, just ask. We love you, California. We love you, we love you, we love you. Especially every four years in November.
JEERS to head-shaking moments. A day after saying she had no reason to apologize for whatever the fuck this email thing is all about, Hillary Clinton
apologized for whatever the fuck this email thing is all about. Now she owes us all an apology for apologizing. Then she'll owe an apology for apologizing for her apology for…whatever, I just lost the narrative. Smoke 'em if ya got 'em---I'm thinking this is going to be the mother of all vicious circles. Hillary should apologize for that, too. Unless she shouldn't.
CHEERS to the Peacock Network. Eighty-nine years ago today---in 1926---the National Broadcasting Company (NBC) was organized. Their news division (and cable spin-off) is about the only one I can stomach these days (Morning Joe and Meet the Press excepted), and their history is dotted with so many awesome shows (start with Johnny Carson and Laugh-In and West Wing and Cheers and Frasier and The Office and go from there) that it makes me wanna hit the lottery so I can spend the rest of my life re-watching 'em all. But as far as we're concerned, their most lasting legacy will always be those chimes…
Ear candy.
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Ten years ago in C&J: September 9, 2005
CHEERS to The Daily Show. Jon Stewart returns from his Labor Day hiatus and weighs in on the government's response to hurricane Katrina:
"Now, for you people who are saying, `Well, stop pointing fingers at the president' [and] 'the media's being too hard': SHUT...UP! No! This is inarguably---inarguably---a failure of leadership from the top of the federal government.
Remember when Bill Clinton went out with Monica Lewinsky? That was inarguably a failure of judgment at the top. Democrats had to come out and risk losing credibility if they did not condemn Bill Clinton for his behavior. I believe Republicans are in the same position right now. And I will say this: Hurricane Katrina is George Bush's Monica Lewinsky. The only difference is that tens of thousands of people weren't stranded in Monica Lewinsky's vagina."
There isn't an Emmy big enough.
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And just one more…
JEERS to sleeping at the switch. I don't know how I missed this announcement. (Usually they wake me up with a phone call at 3pm so I don’t miss it.) The latest pod of Kennedy Center Honorees were announced early this summer, and the winners are:
The Eagles (Glenn Frey, Don Henley, Timothy B. Schmit, and Joe Walsh) are one of the most influential and commercially successful American rock bands of all time. The Eagles have sold more than 120 million albums worldwide and have scored six number one albums.
Carole King is more than a half century into her singular career as a songwriter, performer, and author. Since writing her first number one hit “Will You Love Me Tomorrow” at the age of 17, she has arguably become the most celebrated and iconic singer-songwriter of all time.
2015 Kennedy Center honorees.
George Lucas' devotion to timeless storytelling and cutting-edge innovation has resulted in some of the most successful and beloved films of all time, including the Star Wars saga and the Indiana Jones franchise, while also pioneering new digital standards for sophistication in film visuals and sound and inspiring generations of young people to follow their imagination and dreams.
Rita Moreno has won all four of the most prestigious awards in show business: the Oscar, the Tony, two Emmys, and a Grammy. Her countless credits span more than six decades, beginning with her Broadway debut at age 13.
Seiji Ozawa is an internationally recognized celebrity and one of the great figures of the classical music world today. Mr. Ozawa served as Music Director of the Boston Symphony for 29 seasons (1973– 2002), making history as that orchestra’s longest-serving music director; his commitment to the BSO included appearances at the world-renowned Tanglewood festival, where Seiji Ozawa Hall was named in his honor.
Cicely Tyson is renowned for her portrayals of strong female characters on stage, screen, and television, from her stunning initial stage appearance as Barbara Allen in Dark of the Moon to her triumphant 2013 return to Broadway. She is best known for her double Emmy performance in The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman.
Sorry, Chuck Norris, Kirk Cameron and Victoria Jackson. Maybe next year.
Have a nice Wednesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
Bill in Portland Maine has become a monster that people can embrace.
---Chuck Culpepper
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