Republican presidential contenders Donald Trump and Ted Cruz held their anti-Iran-deal rally today. It was a
relatively small affair, for the most part, but nonetheless was brimming with the jingoistic yahooism that passes for presidential-caliber foreign policy these days. The event was sponsored by the Tea Party Patriots, of course, and by
a group of far-far-far-right anti-Muslim conspiracy theorists kicked out of more respectable circles, also of course. Some of the highlights, in no particular order.
- Ted Cruz set the rally tone with an oldie but goodie: Do what I say or everybody dies.
"If this deal goes through, we know to an absolute certainty people will die. Americans will die, Israelis will die, Europeans will die" said Cruz.
He then trundled off to—not joking—a "strategy" session with House Republicans on how to shut down the federal government over their Planned Parenthood theories. Because that worked out so well the last time.
- Donald Trump, on the other hand, opted for a more nuanced approach.
"We are led by very, very stupid people," Trump told several hundred Tea Party members gathered on the west lawn of the U.S. Capitol, calling the Iran deal "incompetently" negotiated. [...]
Trump pledged to negotiate better agreement on a variety of topics, from trade to foreign policy. “We will have so much winning if I get elected, that you may get bored with winning," the New York businessman said at one point.
His head by this time engorged to the size of a hot air balloon, Trump then broke free of his tethers and floated off into the sky.
- Yes, Sarah Palin was there.
"Only in an Orwellian Obama world full of sparkly fairy dust blown from atop his unicorn as he’s peeking through a pretty pink kaleidoscope would he ever see victory or safety for America or Israel in this treaty," Palin told the crowd that had gathered outside of the Capitol Wednesday to protest the deal.
- Head below the fold for more if you can stomach it.
And what sort of crowd did this motley crew of America's loudest thing-shouters attract? Oh, a very fine one indeed.
Rose Prescott -- dressed from head-to-toe in red, white, and blue, and carrying a punching bag depicting President Obama -- said "we know it's a done deal," but Congress needs to listen to the critics.
"We will never vote for these politicians who voted yes again," she said. "I want to show the world that we want to be represented."
- I am being told I am required to point out that Republican also-presidential candidate Jim Gilmore was there. As usual, he was a bit of a letdown and everyone pretty much ignored him.
All of this was a nothingburger compared to today's big Iran news, which was actually a rehash of last week's big Iran news that we all forgot to pay attention to, apparently? Let us all sit up straight this time and listen to Glenn Beck make a formal announcement on behalf of America's Dumbest Congressman.
"I just got an email from Louie Gohmert. He said, 'Last week, I announced to the world if the House and Senate will treat Iran — the Iran treaty as a treaty, I will not run for my congressional seat again. It’s the only thing that I have left that our leadership wants beside my integrity,'" Beck said. [...]
"And after last week that I spent in Egypt, I feel so compelled to do absolutely everything I can to derail this president’s drastic move towards a nuclear Holocaust," Beck read. "I won’t run again if the House voted on my attached resolution and the Senate voted on ratification."
So if Republicans can't block the Iran nonproliferation agreement, which they almost certainly cannot do, America's Dumbest Congressman promises to leave the Congress? I thought putting the brakes on the Iranian nuclear program was important, but at no point did I suspect the consequences would be so ... far-reaching.