No one was on the schedule for today, so this is an Open Thread for people who want a place to gather.
Lots of folks at Daily Kos are grieving every day.
Some are grieving recent deaths. Some are grieving deaths that happened around this time of year.
Some are grieving family and friends who died in uniform.
Still others are pre-grieving deaths expected to happen in the near future, or feeling the loss of loved ones to dementia.
Some are heartbroken at the loss of the unconditional love of a fur friend.
Some are having a birthday without Mom, a wedding without Dad, or another life milestone with a very important person missing.
Still others wake up every morning missing someone who died too young, or who died after many years of marriage, or who died after a lifetime of friendship.
Whatever your reason for grief is, you are welcome to share it here.
Participating here is an act of trust between blogfriends who know each other, and between people who have never met.
We send our needs, our cries for help, our poems of loss and recovery, our honest emotions, out into the blogosphere.
We trust that someone reading our words has been in a similar place and truly understands.
We read without judgment and offer presence, not advice.
We trust that someone out there will offer a kind word and stand beside us as we rant and rage about the unfairness of it all.
I have been having a hard time lately and I know it is because I've been operating on short sleep for weeks.
Everything seems harder when operating on short sleep.
It's scientific fact that there is a correlation between sleep deprivation and certain kinds of disease, particularly coronary heart disease, hypertension and diabetes.They are still studying the ways a lack of sleep reduces the body's ability to heal itself (and fight off disease in the first place).
If there is evidence that lack of sleep reduces the body's ability to resist disease, I wonder if there is evidence that lack of sleep reduces the mind's ability to resist grief and depression.
Lately I have been keeping a sleep hygiene diary, writing down how many hours of sleep I get, and how many times I wake up during the night.
Saturday night I got two hours of sleep. Last night I slept 11 1/2 hours and only woke up once. They say you can't actually make up for lost sleep, just like you can't get sleep in advance. But after basically pulling an all-nighter on Saturday the deep restorative sleep last night made me feel better emotionally as well as physically.
Studies show lack of sleep makes it harder to think clearly or focus on complex tasks.
Keeping a positive attitude in the face of grief and continuing with self-care in the face of depression is definitely a complex task.
In the short period of time I have been keeping the records I have noticed a direct correlation between the hardest days and short sleep. I have many fewer days of feeling overwhelmed or crying than I used to, but in just a few weeks I have seen how often they come on the day after short sleep. Conversely, days when I seem to stay on an even keel emotionally usually happen after nights of good sleep.
I know, I know, it seems obvious. But seeing it written down makes it more real somehow.
Welcome, fellow travelers on the grief journey
and a special welcome to anyone new to The Grieving Room.
We meet every Monday evening.
Whether your loss is recent, or many years ago;
whether you've lost a person, or a pet;
or even if the person you're "mourning" is still alive,
("pre-grief" can be a very lonely and confusing time),
you can come to this diary and say whatever you need to say.
We can't solve each other's problems,
but we can be a sounding board and a place of connection.
Unlike a private journal
here, you know: your words are read by people who
have been through their own hell.
There's no need to pretty it up or tone it down..
It just is.