Before I begin, I would like to make one comment.
Faire foutre les Terroristes!
The Daesh issuing threats reminds me of a favorite joke: A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals…
A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals. After being forced to travel upriver in native canoes, they eventually found themselves brought before the tribal chief as tributes. The chief looked them over and smiled. His big toothy smile revealed terrible teeth. He said something to the assembled throng and clapped his hands. He then turned his attention to the Brit. Leaning in close so his fetid breath almost caused the man to faint, the Chief said:
“Tomorrow, Englishman, we are going to skin you alive. Then we are going to cook you alive. Then we are going to eat you. Then we are going to tan your hide and stretch it out for a new canoe.”
He paused to savor the look of terror in the Brit’s eyes. Then, he continued.
“We may be cannibals, but we are not savages. Do you have any last requests?”
“Yes, give me a gun!” cried the Brit.
“As you wish,” said the Chief. “But only one bullet.”
The gun was produced and handed to the Brit.
“God Save The Queen!” shouted the Brit, who then shot himself.
The Chief and all the villagers laughed like this was the funniest thing they had ever seen. They then skinned the poor chap, threw his body in a cauldron and cooked him. They feasted and danced while the women tanned his hide and stretched it out on a frame in the village center.
The next day, the Chief visited his remaining prisoners. This time he turned his attention to the Frenchman. In surprisingly good French he said (I will translate)
“Tomorrow, my friend, we are going to skin you alive. Then we are going to cook you alive. Then we are going to eat you. Then we are going to tan your hide and stretch it out for a new canoe.”
He paused for effect. Seeing the Frenchman staring in shock at the hideous hide in the village center, the Chief continued,
“We may be cannibals, but we are not savages. Do you have any last requests?”
“Yes,” said the Frenchman. “Give me a knife.”
“As you wish,” said the Chief with a grin.
A long, sharp dagger was produced and handed to the Frenchman.
“Vive la France!” declared the Frenchman, who promptly slit his throat.
The Chief and all the villagers howled and rolled around on the ground laughing even harder than the last time. They were clearly entertained by the bloody spectacle.
Soon enough, they skinned the poor chap, threw his body in a cauldron, and cooked him. The villagers feasted and danced while the women tanned his hide and stretched it out on a frame in the village center.
The next day, the Chief appeared and cast a wicked grin as he addressed his final prisoner.
”Tomorrow …” he started to say, but the New Yorker cut him off.
”Yeah, yeah, yeah…. you’re gonna skin me alive, boil me alive, eat me and use my hide for one of your canoes. I got it. Tell me something I don’t know.”
The Chief, nonplussed at having his lines stepped on, shrugged and asked, “Any last requests?”
”Yeah, give me the biggest fork you can find.”
The Chief, shrugged and said, “As you wish.”
Everyone in the village looked with interest as the fork from the cauldron was brought over and handed to the New Yorker.
Astonished, the villagers watched as the New Yorker took the fork and proceeded to poke nasty holes in the skin all over his body.
”This is for your fucking canoe.”
Listening to Republican governors (like GOP Presidential wannabee Chris Christie) beating up on refugees makes me sick. I would like to say I tried to look at this from the GOP viewpoint, but that would be a lie. I can’t get my head that far up my own ass. This cowardly lion likes to think he’s tough, but he isn’t fooling anyone. The only way Tweedlee Dee Dumb is a threat is if you’re five years old, value common sense, or stuck in the seat next to him on the train.
When did we turn into a nation of pussies? Before anybody gets their panties in a bunch about sexist terminology (and completely misses the fucking point) how about I just call these governors dicks, instead? Either way, I didn’t get the memo.
I’m sorry if that offends you. You know what offends me? People who panic and go after the weakest among us in their hysterical overreaction to a threat. You know what else offends me? People who do more damage to themselves than the terrorists could ever hope to do in a month of Sundays. You know what else offends me? People who betray our heritage by scorning refugees fleeing from the same animals who terrorized them in their own country.
Not to put too fine a point on this, but did you know one of the newly appointed ministers to the Canadian cabinet, Maryam Monsef, arrived in Canada as a refugee from Afghanistan? So much for the great refugee threat, eh?
How credulous are these Republican candy asses, anyway? A guy goes out on a suicide mission and brings his passport along? You’re kidding me, right? The guys who pull these stunts aren’t refugees. They already have visas to be in the country legally. Going after refugees won’t do a damn thing to stop this problem. But it will definitely help the scumbags you’re so terrified of. That’s cowardly and stupid. Let me break it down for the limp dicks in the GOP:
The Daesh is panicked because they are hemorrhaging people. Millions have fled. The people they need to run things have fled. What kind of caliphate can’t keep the water running? What kind of caliphate can’t provide medical care? What kind of caliphate can’t keep the lights on? A caliphate run by a bunch of goat fucking losers, that’s who. These clowns couldn’t build a wall to keep people in if their lives depended on it. And it does. So this is the next best thing. They go shoot up a European city and hope they can terrify everyone into rejecting refugees. “Let the infidels do our work for us!” QED.
Is anyone really surprised the cowards in the GOP bought this bullshit hook, line and sinker? I am not surprised. Republicans getting in the way of a solution? You know what we call that? Tuesday.