God, known to be omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent, has lost—again—to Satan. More specifically, to the Satanic Temple in Phoenix, Arizona.
From now on, lawmakers decided in a 5-4 vote, council meetings will no longer begin with a traditional prayer, but instead open with a moment of silence.
Although the decision may block the Satanic Temple’s Feb. 17 invocation, it prompted outcries from some Phoenix residents and city officials who believe the prayer ban is a de facto victory for the Satanists.
The issue for the Phoenix City Council was that they always open their council sessions with a prayer. A good Christian prayer. The Satanic Temple asked if they too could open with their religion’s invocation and then everything went bananas. The solution of having a moment of silence, in which people can pray to whatever they want to pray to, is not going over well with many.
"I am not for the silent prayer," said Pastor Darlene Vasquez, who began to cry at the microphone. “I want those who believe in the one true God to pray. It breaks my heart to hear what is going on."
Councilman Sal DiCiccio is also pissed at this victory for the Dark Prince:
"This is what that Satanist group wants," DiCiccio said. "A moment of silence is basically a banning of prayer. It’s to agree to the Satanic goal to ban prayer."
Considering how hot and bothered so many of these religious eschatologists get talking about the end of days happening any moment now, I would figure they would be excited to know they are at ground zero for the battle of Armageddon. Sure, Armageddon is a place in the Middle East, and sure, Satan doesn’t really exist in that part of the Bible, and sure, not being allowed to impose your religious beliefs on others is a total buzzkill; but you know who hated God more than Satan? The Founding Fathers.
You can watch some clips of the city council meeting below the fold.