“Most guys don’t ask, Can I finger you? Usually there’s a natural progression of things, unfolding consensually, not a Q and A.”
She adds:
“According to him, the only reason we were on the ground was because I fell down. Note; if a girl falls help her get back up. If she is too drunk to even walk and falls, do not mount her, hump her, take off her underwear, and insert your hand inside her vagina.”
She says alcohol is not an excuse and though it is a factor...
“...alcohol was not the one who stripped me, fingered me, had my head dragging against the ground, with me almost fully naked.”
Reading about her current state, many can tell Emily Doe is clearly experiencing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder/PTSD as do most all rape victims. I know this because I am one of the millions of women who’ve been raped. For the most part I have been able to heal through help and support. There’s no telling how long it will take for Emily Doe or any rape/sexual assault victim to feel safe again or to trust again and there is no guarantee.
“I used to pride myself on my independence, now I am afraid to go on walks in the evening, to attend social events with drinking among friends where I should be comfortable being. I have become a little barnacle always needing to be at someone’s side...”
She expresses her pain, but says the pain she sees in her sister is worse.
“All the crying, the hurting you have imposed on me, I can take it. But when I see my younger sister hurting... when she feels more guilt than you, then I do not forgive you.”
This admirable young woman brings up athletic/university elitism, entitlement, bigotry and racism can all play apart on how it goes down for a rapist.
“If I had been sexually assaulted by an un-athletic guy from a community college, what would his sentence be? If a first time offender from an underprivileged background was accused of three felonies and displayed no accountability for his actions other than drinking, what would his sentence be? How fast he swims does not lessen the impact of what happened to me.”
In her conclusion, Emily Doe reaches out to girls everywhere and tells them, “On nights when you feel alone, I am with you.”
Rep. Poe says the judge in this case was wrong —“car thieves get more than six months in jail” and for the victim, “it’s a life sentence of turmoil, guilt, hopelessness, being alone.” He says he knows this because victims have told him over the years.
Also on Thursday, Vice President Joe Biden sent a very moving open letter to the Emily Doe via BuzzFeed News telling her he believes she has already saved lives. Here is an excerpt:
“I do not know your name—but your words are forever seared on my soul.
Words that should be required reading for men and women of all ages. Words that I wish with all of my heart you never had to write.
I am in awe of your courage for speaking out—for so clearly naming the wrongs that were done to you and so passionately asserting your equal claim to human dignity.
And I am filled with furious anger—both that this happened to you and that our culture is still so broken that you were ever put in the position of defending your own worth.
And you were failed by anyone who dared to question this one clear and simple truth: Sex without consent is rape. Period. It is a crime.
Emily Doe has said she intends to stay anonymous so that she can make “a statement that all of these people are fighting — for someone that they don’t know.” Thank you to Emily Doe — to all the Emily Does — thank you for your strength, will, and courage.