From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Quotable Philly, Part II (Part I is here.)
"Hau mitakuyepi na mitakolapi! Hello, family and friends, I extend my hand to you from my heart with good feelings in our beautiful Lakota language."
---State Rep. Shawn Bordeaux, a member of the Rosebud Sioux Tribe, introducing the South Dakota delegation---the first time the Lakota language has been spoken at a Democratic convention.
"Hi, I’m Lena Dunham and according to Donald Trump, my body is probably a two."
---Lena Dunham
“This guy doesn’t have a clue about the middle class… He has no clue about what makes America great. Actually, he has no clue period."
---Joe Biden
“Where was Donald Trump for the days and months and years after 9/11? He didn’t stand at the pile, he didn’t lobby Congress for help, he didn’t fight for first responders. Nope. He cashed in---collecting $150,000 in Federal funds intended to help small businesses recover, even though days after the attack he said his businesses weren’t affected. It was one of our nation’s darkest days. But to Trump, it was just another way to make a quick buck.”
---Representative Joseph Crowley (D-NY)
“I cried! I never cry.”
---Jerry Emmett, honorary delegate from Arizona, on Hillary Clinton’s nomination. Emmett, 102, was born before women had the right to vote.
“She’s insatiably curious, she’s a natural leader, she’s a good organizer, and she’s the best darn change-maker I ever met in my entire life.”
---Bill Clinton
”I didn’t want this spotlight. But will I do everything I can to focus some of that light on a path out of this darkness. Hillary Clinton has the compassion and understanding to comfort a grieving mother. She has the courage to lead the fight for common-sense gun legislation. And she has a plan to repair the divide that so often exists between law enforcement and the communities they serve. This isn’t about being politically correct. It’s about protecting our children.
---Sybrina Fulton, mother of Trayvon Martin
“Hillary knows we can insist on a lawful and orderly immigration system while still seeing striving students and their toiling parents as loving families, not criminals or rapists; families that came here for the same reasons our forebears came---to work, and study, and make a better life, in a place where we can talk and worship and love as we please. She knows their dream is quintessentially American, and the American Dream is something no wall will ever contain.”
---President Obama (transcript here)
"Nearly 100 years after we got the vote you, people, have made history [by nominating Hillary Clinton]. And you're gonna make history again in November because Hillary Clinton will be our first woman president. … She'll be the first but she won't be the last."
---Meryl Streep
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, July 28, 2016
Note: In the event that a garden party suddenly springs up around you, Cheers and Jeers can be printed out and stitched together to form an attention-grabbing pair of unisex leisure slacks. Hugs, Heloise
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til autumn: 56
Days 'til the 25th annual Powderhorn Art Fair in Minneapolis: 9
Number of black delegates at the Republican convention: 18
Number of black delegates at the Democratic convention: 1,182
Number by which Florida’s Environmental Regulatory Commission is considering increasing the number of chemicals allowed in drinking water, from 54 to 92, according to FiveThirtyEight: 38
Estimated number of beer-tap handles that AJS Tap handles in Wisconsin makes every year out of wood, resin or metal: 500,000
Maximum recommended width and weight of a beer tap, according to AJS's lead designer: 3", 1 lb.
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
The long-awaited and much-heralded Barack Obama did not disappoint, and when you consider the burden of expectation that had been placed on the poor man, that's almost miraculous.
I did not think he was as effective a speaker as Mario Cuomo was in 1984, but at least an A-minus. He uses a wonderful rhetorical device the late senator from Texas, Ralph Yarborough, had down to perfection---topping one applause line with another, then again and again, until the crowd is roaring with approval.
A political star is born, always an exciting moment. ---July 2004 at the DNC convention in Boston
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Puppy Pic of the Day:
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CHEERS to Night 4! This is it, kids. The final night before Gallup announces the 20-point Democratic bounce. It's gonna be a rock 'em, sock'em cage match against the flabby ideas and lazy rhetoric of Donald Trump. Weighing in at [redacted] pounds and ready to uncork the Eau d' Whupass when you least expect it: Secretary Hillary…Rodham…Clinton!!! [Raaaahrrr!!!] For those of you who can't stand the sight of a thin-skinned fascist’s teeth on the floor, we recommend The Weather Channel.
JEERS to unholy alliances. Boy, did Donald Trump give a weirder-than-usual press conference yesterday. In the span of just a handful of minutes he:
> Called Reagan's would-be assassin "David Hinckley"
> Called Tim Kaine the governor of New Jersey
> Reiterated that his taxes would never see the light of day
> Said he'd never met Vladimir Putin despite claiming in November they'd been "stablemates" (which sounds as homoerotic now as it did then, but I digress…)
> Told a female reporter to "Be quiet"
> Oh, and he---in the words of Steve Benen---"urged Vladimir Putin’s espionage services to help sabotage the American election and put Trump in the White House," prompting even hard-core Republicans like Stephen Hayes of The Weekly Standard to ask, “How can any Republican support a candidate who openly hopes for foreign cyberattacks on a political opponent?”
So that was fun. I hear that today's agenda includes hijacking a battleship and…well, he wants to keep it a surprise. But if you get a few minutes, you might be wise to brush up on your duck-and-cover drills. You may need them.
CHEERS to Bubba's foresight. Addressing a veterans convention in New Orleans on July 28, 1996, Bill Clinton called on Congress to pass expanded measures against acts of terror in the United States. It was a more innocent time back then, and today the Adult Children Moving Back in with their Parents Act seems rather quaint.
CHEERS to the latest entry in the aviation history books. All the sturm and drang of the conventions drowned out news of a famous first this week: pilot Bertrand Piccard landed the Solar Impulse 2 plane in Abu Dhabi, completing---with help from alternating pilot Andre Borschberg---its 17-month, 26,000 mile, sun-fueled round-the-world journey among the clouds:
Though the flight demonstrated that electric-only flight is possible, it also illustrates how impractical it still is.
The airplane cruised at an average of only 50 miles per hour, a slow pace that tested the pilot’s endurance as well as the batteries. The longest leg was 117 hours in the air between Japan and Hawaii, after which Solar Impulse was grounded for nine months with severe battery damage (which the team attributed to errors now rectified).
Still, greatness springs from modest beginnings. Charles Lindbergh only averaged 105 mph during his solo 1927 flight across the Atlantic, a speed that 20 years later would be considered pokey. It may take us longer to reach that threshold with electric power, but the future is wide open.
Meanwhile, James Inhofe's snowball-fueled plane, the Climate Change Is A Hoax 1, achieved its own milestone of sitting for 17 months in a hangar doing nothing.
CHEERS to feeling your pain. On July 28, 1865, the American Dental Association proposed its first code of ethics, thus paving the way for hilarious moments like this:
Coincidentally: this morning, moments after we post C&J, we'll be heading to our dentist to take care of a few things, including building a bridge between two warring molars. After reminding him that today is the anniversary of the dental code of ethics, Dr. Scrivello will tip his head back, roar with laughter, whip out an ice pick and go to work. But he'll let me watch Fox News on the ceiling TV, so at least that'll help dull the pain. Well, the physical pain, anyway.
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Ten years ago in C&J: July 28, 2006
JEERS to the lapdog press. How poor of a job have they done informing the public that there were no WMDs found in Iraq? So poor that today 50 percent still think there were. Meanwhile 95% of the American public knows Taylor Hicks's shoe size and Angelina Jolie's favorite color, and 97% believe that Tom Cruise's baby was conceived on Pluto. Well, some things are obvious, I guess.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to red meat that's not the political kind. On today's date in 1900, reportedly while trying to piss off his vegan neighbor, Louis Lassen invented the humble hamburger in New Haven, Connecticut. Louis' Lunch is still in business and kickin' it old-school:
The beginnings of the hamburger sandwich as we all know it today was really quite simple.
One day in 1900, a gentleman hurriedly walked into Louis' Lunch and told proprietor Louis Lassen he was in a rush and wanted something he could eat on the run. In an instant, Louis placed his own blend of ground steak trimmings between two slices of toast and sent the gentleman on his way. And so, the most recognizable American sandwich was born.
Today, Louis' great grandson, Jeff Lassen, carries on the tradition. The hamburgers have changed little from their historic prototype and remain the specialty of the house. Burgers are made fresh daily; hand-rolled from a proprietary blend of five meat varieties and cooked to order in the original cast-iron grills dating back to 1898. The Lassen family hold firm on their desire not to offer any condiments. The Louis Lunch experience is about the taste and simplicity of a fresh burger grilled to perfection. Cheese, tomato, and onion are the only acceptable garnish.
So happy birthday to the hamburger, for 116 years the quintessential representation of America's diet until the next Republican gets elected president when it will be replaced with cat food. (And, yes, I would like fries with that.)
Have a nice Thursday. Tonight: we shail into hishtory! Or should I shay…HERshtory! Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
Listen to how people speak. The word “going” is now spoken as “gonna”; “yes” has become “yah”; “to” is “ta”; and the old “John and I” is still, often, being said “me and John.” And how about incessant repeats of “you know” and so forth? Both the written word and the spoken word need attention by educators, students, speakers and Bill in Portland Maine.
---Helen Sargent
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