The great Trumpkin was in North Carolina today, and having a working mic, generously vomited an entire word salad bar. After watching the video, I just have a few comments.
“What’s going on in our country right now is a disgrace.”
I agree completely. It's a national disgrace that Trumplestilskin is in the running for president at all. Congratulations, Republicans. You built that. And by the way, the word is DEmocracy, not DUHmocracy.
“...if I win I will ask my Attorney General to appoint a special prosecutor. And we also have to investigate the investigation itself.”
Hmmm… Will you then investigate the investigation of the investigation? Because let's face it, it's worked so well with Benghazi.
“We’re going to let foreign corporations and their CEO’s decide the outcomes of the — you just can’t do this. We can’t let this happen. We are not going to let it happen where they decide the outcome of our elections. They can’t do it and we’re not going to let it happen.”
...because it's so much better to let our elections be decided by an American con artist, admitted sex offender, and serial liar in cahoots with Russia. I used to wonder if Putin’s lips move when the Donald is speaking, but after hearing Putin speak English, he clearly is better at it than Trump. I keep wondering what Trump’s first language is, but judging from his oratory, it must be one without any sentence structure.
Moving along, we then get to hear the Donald heroically fight back at his accusers:
“I don’t know who these people are, I look on television, I think it’s a disgusting thing and it’s being pushed. They have no witnesses, there’s nobody around.”
Yeah, because obviously he would only sexually assault women in front of witnesses.
“Some are doing it for probably a little fame, they get some free fame.”
Wow, I wonder where they would get an idea like that? Could it be from a presidential candidate who gets free press from spreading lies? I guess karma’s been busy lately…
“One came out recently where I was sitting alone in some club. I really don’t sit alone that much. Honestly, folks I don’t think I sit alone. I go in with groups of people — I was sitting alone by myself, like this.”
Okay, so you don't think you sit alone? You don't know whether you sit alone or not? And yet, you know more about ISIS than the generals?
“Even a simple investigation would’ve shown these allegations against me, in just about all cases, it’s nonsense, it’s false.”
What? “...IN JUST ABOUT ALL CASES, it’s nonsense, it’s false.” (My emphasis.) Seriously, that's your argument?
"Here’s my question about the dishonest writer from People Magazine. Why didn’t she write what she said happened before we wrote the story, why didn’t she put it in the story? The story would’ve been one of the big stories.
I was the big star of the Apprentice, why didn’t she go it 12 years ago? Twelve years ago.”
Yeah, I mean, it's not like you can get away with it because you're a celebrity or anything.
There's more, but I have to stop here. Translating Trumpish to English is giving me a headache. I also feel the need to shower...