Welcome to your daily roundup of news from the Donald J. Trump campaign trail. We begin today with yesterday's top-notch performance by the Trump campaign's top Fox News surrogate, an irascible little scamp named Sean Hannity. Mr. Hannity is a Very Important Voice in modern conservatism, as one presumes you would have to be to retain a top serious host gig at the most important serious conservative news network. He devoted his serious program last night to a very special guest.
In what was touted as a major “exclusive” interview, Fox News’ Sean Hannity revealed the identity of Bill and Hillary Clinton’s alleged “fixer,” who told the National Enquirer he worked to keep embarrassing stories about the former first family out of the press while helping set up their extramarital affairs, including “a lesbian romp for bisexual Hillary with a prominent Hollywood identity!”
That does sound like a bombshell. All right, who is this noble man who has come forward to tell America of Clinton's lesbianism and/or affair with Vince Foster and/or dozens of corpses buried under the White House bowling alley?
Novelist Jeff Rovin, former editor of the Weekly World News — a now-defunct supermarket tabloid credited with publishing such scoops as “BAT CHILD FOUND IN CAVE!” and “BAT CHILD ESCAPES!” as well as breaking political stories including “BILL CATCHES HILLARY WITH SPACE ALIEN!” and “HILLARY ADOPTS ALIEN BABY.”
Yes. The former editor of the Weekly World News now says he is the super-secret operative Bill and Hillary Clinton hired to make sure nobody started any wacky rumors about them. It checks out.
Though I would have led with "Hillary Adopts Alien Baby", myself. Way to bury the lede, Hannity.
There was actual news on the campaign trail today as well. None of it quite rivaled Bat Child Escapes, mind you, but Trump gave it the ol' Trump University try.
• In an ongoing effort to boost his credentials with endorsements the endorsers didn't know they made, Trump told a Florida interviewer that he has been endorsed by the United States military—"at least conceptually." Stay tuned; by next week he will be arguing he has also been endorsed by government agencies holistically, homeopathically, and perhaps spectrally.
• Also in Florida, Trump groaned: "All of my employees are having a tremendous problem with Obamacare. [...] You look at what they're going through with their health care is horrible because of Obamacare." Soon afterwards, he bragged that his employees are "not worried about their health care because we take great care of people." Then he told Fox News "I don't use much Obamacare." Grant funds are available to any researcher willing to dive deep enough into those statements to figure out just what the hell he meant.
• Trump has "directed $300,000 of small donors' money to the publisher of his bestselling business book 'The Art of the Deal' in the pat month." The money appears to be going to purchase "autographed" copies for Trump to offer up in a fundraising drive. The ghostwriter who wrote the book on Trump's behalf still thinks he'd make a horrific president, though.
• The American Bar Association held off on a report detailing Trump's record of filing meritless lawsuits to punish detractors because they didn't want to themselves be sued by him. Make America Great Again, and so forth.
• Meanwhile, five Republican candidates are threatening to sue television stations that run Democratic campaign ads linking them to Trump.
• Feeling the heat for his own Trump ties: Sen. Marco Rubio, who was booed off an Orlando stage by a Florida Latino crowd angry with his continued support of the racist candidate.
• Meanwhile, the New Hampshire Republican Party is sending flyers tying the pathetically wishy-washy Sen. Kelly Ayotte to Trump whether she wants to be or not, while Sen. Pat Toomey flatly refused to say whether he would be voting for his party's presidential nominee or not.
• Not a bit on the fence: Bush-era Secretary of State Colin Powell announced he is definitely voting for Hillary Clinton, calling Trump unqualified. "He insults us every day."
• A rapidly developing new art form: female conservative Republican pundits suddenly realizing that the virulently anti-abortion, anti-birth-control, Planned Parenthood smearing, "legitimate rape"-promoting party they belong to is fine with unapologetic misogyny as well. No, I don't know how a conservative television or print pundit could have somehow missed this curious aspect of their own movement for the last few decades: I am beginning to think our national punditry credentialing process is not entirely on the up-and-up.
• No longer as confused about their place in the party: Far-right white nationalists, who see in Trump the opening for bringing their own toxic racism into the broader Republican discourse.
• Despite the manner in which Trump has so intensively steered campaign events and funds towards Trump companies, Trump The Campaign hasn't been at all kind to Trump The Brand. The toxicity of his campaign statements are expected to impact his own business ventures long after the election is over.