Everyone has that one relative at Thanksgiving, You know the one. The one who inevitably brings up how terrible the world is because the big bad government is oppressing them somehow. Usually with a peppering of ethnic slurs and/or conspiracy theories that make nothing resembling sense.
And they think everything would be just ducky if we basically went back to the good ol’ days, usually meaning before all the “big government” programs were created.
So I present a simple proposal in the style of Johnathan Swift (look him up): Prove it.
I don’t mean cite a bunch of crapola from Alex Jones or Rush. If you sincerely believe everyone’s life would be better off without the “gubbimint,” prove it. Take the Small Government Challenge. Do not use ANY government services or regulations aside from the most basic services that make modern life possible like sewers, police, and roads, for a year. If you think an Ayn Rand utopia would be so awesome for us young people to live in, let’s see you step up to the plate. Prove how committed you are to this premise, psychotic as it is.
So what will the Small Government Challenge look like for you?
For starters, no Social Security, Medicaid, or Medicare. That stuff is the very definition of big government socialism.
No government assistance programs either. Including food, heating, or electricity assistance. Rely on your local church like you say other (read: Minority) poor people should.
If you get fired simply for being too old, or passed over for your age, don’t call the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. Government interfering in private enterprise is bad. Non-discrimination laws are only for PC crybabies, right? Be a rugged individualist!
If your boss decides to raid your pension to pad his bonus, or simply stiffs you on your paycheck, don’t call the government. After all, that would be “regulation.”
Don’t call the government to fix/replace you or your spouse’s wheelchair or other medical equipment. Get charity to do it if the free market won’t.
Speaking of wheelchairs, if your apartment or a business is not handicap accessible to you, don’t try to use the Americans with Disabilities Act. That’s just more of that government meddling you hate.
Oh don’t use the community rec center and/or pools to stay healthy. That’s more big government. Use the private one run by the country club. Probably costs $1,000 a month but private enterprise does EVERYTHING better riiiiight?
That nice lady who comes by and helps assist with daily living tasks like cooking so you can stay in your house rather than wind up in a rathole nursing home? If she’s paid by a government program, she has to go. You walked to school through the snow uphill both ways. You can handle it. Don’t be a freeloader!
Dealing with a bank who is trying foreclose on your house for sketchy reasons or a landlord trying to evict you so he can set up an Airbnb operation? Don’t call the government. That’s just more meddling.
Live in a rural area? Cut off your electricity and buy a generator. The ONLY reason electric companies brought electricity to rural areas, an expensive proposition that they would have never done on their own, was because the big government city slickers you never fail to talk smack about at Thanksgiving dinner, made them.
Can’t drive? Don’t use public transit. Public transit is a government program. Paratransit is ESPECIALLY bad since it’s a triple whammy. Government program, ADA mandated, and was obtained largely through militant activist groups blocking streets, an action that you’ve never failed to assert should be responded to with mass vehicular homicide. Besides the right wing conspiracy theorists say that mass transit is part of a United Nations plot to confiscate cars (not that people who believe this theory are mentally stable enough to be near a steering wheel).
Maybe Uber will help but don’t call the government for help if you get the rare driver who is a violent psycho or you can’t get a driver with an accessible car. After all, that’s just more meddling, I’m sure the free market will resolve it… Sometime before the inevitable heat death of the universe.
Getting screwed over in a nursing home? Don’t call the government. The nursing home is a private business. Shouldn’t they be allowed to do whatever they want? If they’re doing something wrong, surely the magical free market will handle it without the oppressive government having to get involved.
Or maybe it’s time to admit that all this junk about how government is out to get you is just junk. The fact is, many of the same people who ramble on about the heavy hand of big government have benefited from it, perhaps more than millennials ever have.