Have you heard the latest?
It appears that Trump won’t be putting John Bolton in his administration because he has a mustache, and the American Mustache Institute is pissed off: (Note that John Bolton is a horrible human being and batshit insane)
Addressing allegations that former United Nations ambassador John Bolton was passed over for secretary of state because of his mustache, the AMI staff banded together to defend one of their own and denounce the rumored act of discrimination. After referencing Trump’s long history of superficial statements — from his hosting of “The Apprentice” to his misogynistic comments about former pageant queen Alicia Machado — the AMI let things get hairy.
“The paradox, of course, is that Mr. Trump’s orange face and spaghetti squash mane would, theoretically through his own Clark Gable paradigm — who ironically had a mustache — would make Mr. Trump himself unfit to serve in a position of leadership,” the AMI staff wrote. “But beyond the esthetic and ongoing pattern of his embrace of an alt-right-like discrimination, the Mustached American community is deeply troubled by a new administration erecting yet another obstacle towards a level playing field for people of Mustached American heritage.”
The AMI added that “our quarrel is not political as we are a non-partisan institution of learning, thought and facial hair militancy.”
This shit is fucked up and shit.
Trump’s alleged bias against the facial hair set results in John Bolton, probably the worst human being in the GW Bush administration, being rejected for a State Department position (weird), and some obscure advocacy group throws a shit fit. (Weirder)
I sure picked the wrong week to …… Well, you know.
Also, I’ve had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!