(My friend, Jay, posted this on his Facebook page and agreed to let me post it here. Jay says...)
I made an off-the-cuff remark to a Facebook post earlier today regarding how the behavior of the GOP (more specifically, holding the Democrats to standards they completely fail to apply to themselves) was one of the hallmarks of an abusive relationship. And the more I think about it, the more I am of the opinion that this is the perfect way to describe the dynamic between the Republican and Democratic Parties: the GOP are the abusers, and the Democrats have Battered Spouse Syndrome.
Think about it... in an abusive relationship, the goal for the abuser is to create an uneven power sharing dynamic where the abuser has all of the power. The GOP has controlled the narrative of political discourse since before Obama came to office. Almost everything the Democrats have wanted to do, even in the early days of Obama's administration when they held a solid majority in both the House and Senate, needed to get through Republican obstruction... and now... they are admonishing the Democrats to "grow up" and behave themselves properly in the face of the GOP agenda... which is the single most selfish and destructive agenda in modern history... but it will benefit THEM, which is all that matters.
These are a few items from an actual checklist on understanding emotionally abusive behavior, all of which Trump and the GOP are guilty of in spades...
- Destructive criticism/verbal attacks/blaming/disrespect/insults
- Intimidation/pressure tactics
- Lying
- Minimizing/denying the abusive or controlling behavior
- Surveillance, stalking
- Controlling all the money or withholding necessary resources
- Taking away something you desire if you don’t do what the abuser demands
And as a party, Democrats have been cowering in the corner, trying to "work with" their abuser in hopes of earning fair, or at least better, treatment. Only it doesn't work that way. It never works that way. Abusers and bullies have no interest in a "fair" or "balanced" relationship. They want all the power. Period. Full stop. If they cannot have it, they will bitch and moan and cry and make life miserable for everyone until they get their way. And once they do have power, they will run roughshod over anyone and everyone who gets in their way, tell everyone who gets hurt by them that it's "your own damned fault" and to "stop acting like such a goddamned victim".
Normally, the way to "fix" such a dynamic is to leave the relationship... but that isn't really possible... nor can the Democrats send the GOP into therapy... and even if they could, therapy only works when the party involved recognizes that they have a problem that needs help... and I'd bet real money that the GOP does not see themselves as "an abuser", and if they did, they would say "Well, better to be the Top Dog than the beaten mutt!"
Why do you think the Republicans are in such a fucking hurry to rush things through? Avoid fights? Trying to shut down debates? Avoid scrutiny? Trying to silence all opposition? Because they are bullies, they know they are bullies, and they know what they are doing is WRONG... But the only way to stop them is for them to be called out on their bullshit and fight back... so they are desperately seeking ways to avoid being called out, and in making it impossible for anybody to fight back.
Bullies do not back down unless you make them... and you make bullies back down by fighting back. So, the one and only thing for the Democrats to do is recognize that, as they are right now, the GOP is not a group than they can ever "work with" - they are an adversary, and they need to be called on their bullshit at each and every opportunity. Period. Full stop. No, they will not win every fight, but the very act of fighting, itself, will be maddening to the bullies which are Trump and the entire GOP... and will make all the future battles that much easier.
All we need, now, are for enough journalists and Democratic politicians to stop behaving like battered spouses, and to start fighting back the way real journalists and the "loyal opposition" is supposed to.