Dear mainstream media,
We are your viewers, and we have a simple request for you. Whatever you do, please do not live cover Mein Furor’s campaign event on Saturday! None of it! Send a camera crew and tape it, and if the Orange Doofus says anything particularly newsworthy you can always air the relevant clips afterwards. Trump has already made it clear that this is a campaign event, paid for by his reelection campaign. If you flip the switch to go live, you are not covering the President at some official function, you are covering a political rally for a candidate 45 months before the 2020 election. There is no excuse for it.
This whole event is so transparent you could wash it with Windex. The Tiny Thumbs Diktator has taken a whole flurry of gut punches to his ego. His gratification meter is getting close to negative numbers. He’s stuck in the White House, and the only thing he sees out of his windows or on the news is protests and negative news. He desperately needs an ego injection, and this is the only way he can get it. He is going to Florida for no other reason than to bask in the applause and adoration of his Trombies, try to get some of his swagger back, feel like he’s still loved and adored.
Listen, recently some of you are making the first strides towards rehabilitating your miserable performance in the general election. You’re starting to fact check and actually report rather than just repeat. Some of you are starting to call bullshit when Trump surrogates spout outrageous nonsense. If you give him the oxygen, if you allow him to control the news cycle for a day, you risk throwing away all of the progress you’ve so recently made. By all means, tape the event. He may say something actually worth hearing (although I doubt it, this is for his ego) and you can always show it to us later. But please do not reward his infantile behavior by giving him a live platform. If you treat this for what it actually is, it will be one more signal to him that you are no longer automatically rolling over and looking for a puppy treat when he whistles and snaps his fingers. If you do cover it live, we’ll have little choice but to decide that your recent reformation was nothing more than a con job on us.
Very Sincerely Yours,
Your viewers