From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Happy Presidents' Day
Woo hoo! I've got my Millard Fillmore tree set up, Andy Williams' classic It's the Most Executive Branchful Time of the Year is playing on the Victrola, and all my coupons are clipped for BIG Pre$ident$' Day $ale-a-bration $aving$ on every mattre$$ in the $tore! Here's your annual quiz (no cheating):
1. Which president was once a carnival barker at a wheel-of-fortune booth?
A) Nixon B) Hoover C) Ford D) Coolidge
2. Whose parents took seven weeks to name their kid?
A) Monroe B) Van Buren C) FDR D) McKinley
3. This president said, "Soup is bipartisan. We can all agree on soup."
A) Ford B) Cleveland C) Nixon D) Obama
4. Name the president who said "McKinley has a chocolate éclair backbone."
A) Taft B) T. Roosevelt C) Wilson D) Cleveland
5. Who was attacked during his campaign for not drinking enough liquor?
A) Garfield B) Polk C) Hayes D) Carter
6. Who claimed that God didn’t intend for humans to travel on trains at the "breakneck speed" of 15mph?
A) Van Buren B) Jefferson C) Washington D) Buchanan
7. Whose handshake was compared to "a wilted petunia?"
A) Taylor B) George W. Bush C) Tyler D) B. Harrison
8. This president was the first to admit into a live microphone that his celebrity status entitled him to stalk women and "grab 'em by the pussy."
A) Harding B) Jefferson C) Trump D) Hoover
Answers: A, C, D, B, B, A, D, C.
Scoring: 8 = You're presidential material! 0-7 = Oh, let's not dwell on the mistakes of the past, let's look to the future for the sake of our children.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Monday, February 20, 2017
Note: Due to the Presidents' Day holiday, C&J will appear as scheduled. We regret the inconvenience.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Mardi Gras: 8
Days 'til Bockfest Cincinnati: 11
Lincoln, Washington and FDR's rank among our best presidents on the latest C-Span survey of presidential historians: #1, #2, #3
President George W. Bush's and Barack Obama's rankings, respectively: #33, #12
Obama's overall rank in the categories of "equal justice for all," "moral authority" and economic management: #3, #7, #8
Number of presidents born before the U.S. became a country: 8
Number of presidents who fought in the Civil War: 7
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Puppy Pic of the Day: All that slobbers is gold…
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CHEERS to jeers. Members of Congress who have an "R" after their name are, or will be, getting an earful at town hall meetings this week during their "winter recess." The repeal of the Affordable Care Act, Trump's Russia ties and other assorted crises have them twisting themselves into human pretzels as they try to peddle their bullshit for an hour before beating a hasty retreat back to the comfort of their bubbles. Here's a snip from one such event---this is Congressman Tom Reed in Buffalo, New York, who probably wishes he had a trap door under that rug:
The Town Hall Project is doing its best to track all the meetings, and you can see if your member of Congress has the guts to meet his/her constituents face to face by going to their web site here and typing in your zip code. If he/she is choosing to hide instead, please send them a letter expressing your opinion succinctly and respectfully, followed by several bwok bwok bwoks.
CHEERS to pushback. Late last week, before departing for his third Florida vacation (and 6th round of golf) in 30 days, President Trump took a moment to send out a tweet labeling the media "the enemy of the American people!" Then, as he was basking in orc adulation during his Saturday 2020 re-election campaign rally in Florida, the media started firing back. I have plenty of problems with New York Times coverage (Iraq war, Hillary's emails), but this editorial is well-said:
It’s with a whiff of desperation that President Trump insists these days that he’s the chief executive Washington needs, the decisive dealmaker who, as he said during the campaign, “alone can fix it.” What America has seen so far is an inept White House led by a celebrity apprentice.
This president did not inherit “a mess” from Barack Obama, as he likes to say, but a nation recovered from recession and with strong alliances abroad.Mr. Trump is well on his way to creating a mess of his own, weakening national security and even risking the delivery of basic government services. Most of the top thousand jobs in the administration remain vacant. Career public servants are clashing with inexperienced “beachhead” teams appointed by the White House to run federal agencies until permanent staff members arrive. […]
The White House is a toxic mix of ideology, inexperience and rivalries; insiders say tantrums are nearly as common as the spelling errors in the press office’s news releases. … Everything he rolls out is done so badly,” Douglas Brinkley, a presidential historian, marveled recently. “They’re just releasing comments, tweets and policies willy-nilly.”
After throwing a tantrum of epic proportions that resulted in a $50,000 bill to clean several gallons of spray-on-tan off the gilded ceiling in his Mar-A-Lago dining room, Trump calmed down and told Reince Priebus to call Willy Nilly and ask if he was available to be his new National Security Adviser.
CHEERS to a pleasant commute. I couldn't possibly let today go by without giving a shout-out to my home state hero who sadly passed away in “The Great Legend Purge of 2016.” Fifty-five years ago today, on February 20, 1962, Ohio native (and future senator) John Glenn took a little trip into space, which The Atlantic recreates here:
Five minutes and four seconds into the flight of the Friendship 7, as John Glenn prepared to become the first American to orbit Earth, he radioed to NASA, his capsule turned and brought the Earth into sight.
"Oh, that view is tremendous," he said. […] Shortly after reaching orbit, his gave his first description of an earthly phenomenon from orbit.
"This is Friendship Seven," he said, "Can see clear back; a big cloud pattern way back across towards the Cape. Beautiful sight."
Glenn orbited the world three times aboard Friendship 7 in just under five hours. A little weed and I can do that in my mind aboard LaZBoy 1 in under 30 seconds.
P.S. Yesterday morning SpaceX and NASA supervised another successful rocket launch (from storied Kennedy Space Center launch pad 39A), sending a Dragon cargo craft to the International Space Station while softly landing the rocket booster and hauling it back to the garage for re-use. NASA says the Dragon is chock-full of science experiments. Or as they're better known in the age of Trump: refugees fleeing certain death.
JEERS to the Apostrolypse. To help solve the mystery of how, exactly, one spells today's holiday, I performed my annual ritual of consulting the blizzard of ads appearing in The Portland (Maine) Press Herald to get some clarity. This year's batch:
Goodwill: President's Day
Bedderrest: Presidents Day
Hub Furniture: Presidents' Day and President's Day
LaZBoy: Presidents Day
Pierce Furniture: Presidents' Day
Verizon: Presidents Day
Hammond Lumber: Presidents' Day
Dell: Presidents Day
Selby Shoes: President's Weekend
Bill Dodge Kia: Presidents' Day
A.C. Moore Arts & Crafts: President's Day
Staples: Presidents' Day
Frank Galos Chevrolet: Presidents Day
Namco: President's Week
JCPenney: President's Day (last year it was Presidents Day)
Berlin City Auto: Presidents Day
We trust this clears up any confusion.
"CHEERS!" to fixing the worst domestic mistake in American history. On February 20, 1933, Congress proposed the 21st Amendment, which would repeal the 18th (also known as "that no-good stinkin' prohibition"). Once it was adopted, the booze again flowed free and unfettered. C&J will be performing a historical reenactment of that moment in our living room around 9 this morning. Same as we do the other 364 days of the year.
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Ten years ago in C&J: February 20, 2007
JEERS to the Amnesia Express. John McCain recently said in Iowa that the Iraq war has been "a long, tough struggle that we should have told the American people about," even though he himself told the American people it was going to be easy. Then he said that, if the escalation fails, it could turn public opinion against the war:
"I don't know what the other options are because if we fail here I think it's going to be very difficult to maintain the support of the American people," he said. "And when the American people don't support a war ... then we aren't able to maintain a foreign endeavor.
And then he promised that, if elected, he'd take a "serious look at this Y2K bug thing."
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And just one more…
Due to the Presidents' Day holiday, And Just One More has the day off. Please enjoy this cat pushing a baby in a stroller:
We regret yet another inconvenience.
Oh, and a reminder that today is National Handcuff Day. And, not coincidentally, it's also Remind Your Partner of Your Safe Word Day. Have fun! Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
We’re taught in elementary school that there are seven continents on Earth---Africa, Antarctica, Asia, Australia, Europe, North America and South America. But geography textbooks across the world might have to add one more to that list---Cheers and Jeers.
---ABC News
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