As Casa Brillig drove to the theatre to see Beauty and the Beast last night, Fearless Driver Mr. Brillig points at his phone and says “dial that last number… it’s fun!” It’s a Kentucky number that I don’t recognize, so I go ahead and hit redial. Grab your Saturday night beverage of choice and your phone, then drop below the story break for fun. After a word from our hardworking sponsor, of course!
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OK, here’s the number: two seven oh, three oh one, five seven nine seven.
Music floats over the air… “Hello, you have dialed into…” And a menu of options is read to you via the friendly, drawling Interactive Voice Response system. Unlike every other IVR hell you have EVER dialed into, I tell you confidently that you want to listen to all your options, and probably spend a few minutes a half hour wait, what day is it now? some time investigating your options. If you’re not sure where to start, try this one:
If you don’t remember dialing this number, please press 5
[brillig goes off to make tea, read a short novella, and throw laundry in the dryer because everyone will be pressing buttons on the phone for a while before making it back to the rest of the diary]
It’s the best automated system I’ve ever dialed into. Educational (identify that birdsong!!), philosophical (so you don’t remember how you got here?) and more!! Everything you’d expect a Bureau Of Secret Tourism to be- and in these days, could be a totally legit part of the National Parks Service! Alas, it’s all part of the online game Kentucky Route Zero and it makes me want to play it even though I am abysmal at online games, just because it HAS to be good if this much effort went into a prop for the game!
Back to the real world though, IVR systems from hell. We’ve all been there, randomly yelling “operator!” and pressing zero hard enough to damage the phone trying to get a Real Live Person and get us out of the Maze we’re trapped in. More than once [looking at YOU, United Healthcare] I’ve hit a button just to speak to a person and started out with “I don’t know if you can help me but I got lost in the voice hell and can you please transfer me and not send me back there?” And don’t EVEN get me started on the systems that begin “Please listen carefully, for our menu options have changed.” No, NO they haven’t, or at least not in the last five years, so can we PLEASE take that part out for the love of all things holy?
What makes an automated voice system tolerable for you, and what turns it into one of the circles of hell? What are your best/worst experiences with them? Let us know in the comments!
Before you get there, however, please see your options below. They have NOT changed, because they’re the backbone of this longrunning community diary series! Thanks to BeninSC for bringing us our hand-generated Top Comments, plus two automated options: Press One for Top Mojo or Two for Top Pictures.
Brillig's ObDisclaimer: The decision to publish each nomination lies with the evening's Diarist and/or Comment Formatter. My evenings at the helm, I try reeeeallllyy hard to publish everything without regard to content. I really do, even when I disagree personally with any given nomination. "TopCommentness" lies in the eyes of the nominator and of you, the reader - I leave the decision to you. I do not publish self-nominations (ie your own comments) and if I ruled the world, we'd all build community, supporting and uplifting instead of tearing our fellow Kossacks down.
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From ZenTrainer:
(Ed. note: This comment was submitted for inclusion in last night’s Top Comments diary, but did not appear in the messages list in time due to an error. Happy to include it tonight!)
This excellent comment, by AWildLibAppeared, appeared in the DK Elections weekly open thread. The comment calls for the exact type of action Daily Kos is for, plus it brings the funny.
From BoiseBlue:
In this morning's CUA post ZenTrainer makes a good point about one little thing that represents the banality of evil.
Highlighted by hulibow:
Is this comment by buford2 on minor differences in 45 supporters, and what those differences can mean.
Highlighted by Greg Dworkin:
Is this comment by kaleidescope on important advantages of a stronger Democratic party in Kansas.
Top Mojo ala mik!
For Friday, April 7, 2017, first comments and tip jars excluded. Thank you mik for the mojo magic! For those of you interested in How Top Mojo Works, please see his diary on the subject.
2017-04-08, courtesy of jotter!
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Image permissions do not permit inclusion in Top Pictures
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