Lawyer: Hello, yes. Hi my name is Sherry, I’m his lawyer. And this right here are all the papers proving Mr. Trump is really divesting. I mean, look at all these papers. There are papers here, papers there, papers every where. So many papers. Help. Help! Lifeguard! — I’m practically drowning in papers. Still don’t believe me? I’ll read every paper out loud, right now, starting with this… Oh, that’s right they’re fake.
Trump: God, I'm loving this press conference. I love the press. I respect the press and I’ll take another question from the press.
Reporter: Hi. Yeah, I'm from Buzzfeed.
Trump: Oh no, not you BuzzFeed. You’re a real pile of garbage and you want to know why? Because I took your quiz yesterday. I’m gonna tell you right now I’m not a Joey — I'm a Rachel. Next question from the the press!
Reporter: Hi, yes. I’m with CNN.
Trump: You're not staying in either. You're overrated Fake News . I watched your network last night, and it was just some crazy blonde woman spouting lies.
Reporter: That was Kellyanne Conway.
Trump: Oh yes. Love Kellyanne. Every day he looks like she just did the Bucket Challenge with her make-up.
Reporter: Dr. Ben Carson's confirmation hearing this week has been characterized as shaky. Are you sure he's qualified for this cabinet position?
Trump: Ben Carson's great. He’s going to be the best brain surgeon to ever run the Housing Department. If he has any trouble, I just appointed someone yesterday to help him out. This man is an African American icon who has done so much for our country.
Reporter: Oh, it's Congressman John Lewis! That man is a hero.
Trump: No, no, I’ve got someone even better. Steve Harvey. (Family Feud game show host)
Steve Harvey: Yeah, that’s right. It’s me Steve Harvey and and I do government now. Does this bode well for the country?
Survey Say! … XXX (shows three strikes)
Trump: Thank you, Steve. Next question!
Reporter: Hello, Mr. Trump. The intelligence community has said, definitively — that Russia hacked the elections. Why won't you say on the record, that you agree with them.
Trump. I will. I’m happy to say that.
Reporter: Then do it. Say Russia hacked the election.
Trump: (Mumbles “russia, uh...”)
Reporter: I'm sorry I couldn't hear you.
Trump: (mumbles some more)
Reporter: Louder please.
Trump: Ok, fine. Russia hacked the election. Are you happy, Mom? Next question. You sir!
Vladimir Putin: I’m American journalist Wolf Blitzer. Are you sure Russia was behind hacking? I mean really, really sure? (holding up video tape labeled (Russian Pee Pee).
Trump: It was China… Uh, It was Canada — It was Meryl Streep.
Ok, this press conference is over. Thank you all for peeing here, I mean pissing here, I mean being here.
Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!
Ha! I have to admit, in the past I was fearful of the SNL skits normalizing Trump, giving the illusion that he is just some sort of silly, stupid, ridiculous, ego-driven man with wee little fingers... And yes-yes, he’s all that and, of course, he’s much worse. I feared the show would soften people to Trump, and they would start to shrug their shoulders over time and say, “Oh, well. I suppose we’re stuck with the dumbfuck.” Now, I realize I was very was wrong, and that the majority of Americans are very much aware of how dangerous he is. Some are terrorized. They have no plans of simply giving up. So, we need comic relief like this more than ever, and we need respites. We need to breathe, energize, laugh, love, hang out with loved ones, and most of all keep the hope, for without it we have little to nothing. Thank you to everyone at SNL for providing #theresistance in their own way, and thank you to similar shows that somehow can make us laugh — when it’s the last think we we thought we could do.