There has been coverage recently about Union County, Florida, up in the middle of the Florida Panhandle. This is the unhealthiest county in America, big problems with unemployment, drug addiction, obesity and lost hope. The country also voted more than 80% for Mr. Trump. Worse, with the on-going attacks on healthcare, these people will suffer more than most. I read on-line responses to the article. Many, with some justification, suggest that the Union County gentry to “go f**k themselves, having made their own beds, so to speak.
Well, I feel sorry for the folks in Union County, Florida. I think that there should be a nationwide “GoFundMe” effort to raise at least $1,000,000,000.00 to help them out. Further, veteran drug rehab counselors, medical practitioners, dieticians, personal trainers and volunteers of all kinds should descend on the county to help its citizens work to better their lives. Green energy companies should start up new factories and hire local, unemployed people. It would be a beautiful, a noble, a truly patriotic thing to do. The group ethic will be what is so beautifully-stated in these words:
“No man is an island; no man stands alone. Each man’s joy is joy to me, each man’s grief is my own. We need one another, so I will defend, each man as my brother, each man as my friend.”
The first thing we will do is to send teams of volunteers into neighborhoods, knock on doors, and ask the county residents to take a simple test, to weed out the wheat, so-to-speak, from the chaff.
- Is former President Barack Obama a secret Muslim? Yes___ No____
2. Was he born in Kenya? Yes___ No____
3. Do you hate Obamacare? Yes___ No____
4. Do you know what the Affordable Care Act is? Yes___ No____
5. Have you received new or improved insurance and health
coverage since 2010 because of the Affordable Care Act? Yes___ No____
6. Is climate change a hoax? Yes___ No____
7. Do you hate Hillary Clinton because:
a. She has a shrill voice? Yes___ No____
b. She is full of herself? Yes___ No____
c. She had a private, unhacked server? Yes___ No____
d. She wears pantsuits? Yes___ No____
e. Because she should be in prison for something? Yes___ No____
f. I don’t hate Hillary Clinton. ________
8. Is there a “War On Coal”? Yes___ No____
9. How many out-of-work coal miners are back at work mining coal since
January, 2017?
a. 50,000 ______
b. 100,000 ______
c. 300,000 ______
d. about 50 ______
10. What percentage of illegal aliens are murders and rapists?
10% ________
23% ________
37% ________
58% ________
fake news________
11. What percentage of illegal aliens get welfare checks and free medical care?
16% _________
31% _________
49% _________
76% _________
fake news ________
12. Do you know what D.A.C.A. is? Yes___ No____
If so, how many D.A.C.A. recipients are terrorists?
14% __________
39% __________
fake news _________
13. Unmarried women who use birth control are:
Sluts? _________
Tramps? ________
On welfare?________
Exercising their right to choose___________
14. Can women have abortions whenever they want to?
15. How many aborted, live, crying babies were pitchforked into Planned Parenthood
dumpsters?
a. 20 ___________
b. 37 ___________
c. none_____________
16. Is all “lamestream media” news about President Trump fake? Yes___ No____
17. Is everything reported on Fox News true? Yes___ No____
We will grade the tests on the spot. Those who pass will immediately be processed to receive a broad range of helpful, and, in some cases, life-saving, services. Those who fail will be given study guides, reading coaches and access to NPR, The New York Times, The Alternet and other social media. We will then administer a second test. Those who fail the 2nd time will be issued special red baseball caps reading “ I Am A Bad American” in large, white letters. Then, because we are decent people, we will take care of them, too.