Late Night with Seth Meyers decided they would join the fray and give out their report card on Donald Trump’s first 100 days in office. After a few jokes about President Obama’s reappearance yesterday, he runs through the various news outlets’ report cards: bad bad bad bad, and “incomplete.”
Meyers: None of this has been done. If this were a movie it would be called 100 Days and Confused.
Meyers goes on to explain Trump’s psychology over the last few days as he tries to turn his approaching “F” report card into an “A,” including his recent tweets saying that the 100-day report card is bogus. Meyers plays a series of clips where candidate Trump talks about all of the things he promises to do in the first 100 days. Meyers explains that there are numerous reasons why Trump wasn’t able to come through on a single campaign promise in his first 100 days in office but one that sticks out is the fact that he is so profoundly ignorant. He quotes Trump’s recent interview with the Associated Press where he made this “epiphanic” statement.
TRUMP: So the Republican Party has various groups, all great people. They're great people. But some are moderate, some are very conservative. The Democrats don't seem to have that nearly as much. You know the Democrats have, they don't have that. The Republicans do have that. And I think it's fine.
Meyers jokes that our president is not unlike a child.
Trump is like an annoying eight-year-old kid who just got home from school, Did you know that fish could breath under water by using their gills?
Yeah, Timmy I know that. Everybody knows that. Now go suck on your juice box.
Late Night wonders what could get worse for Trump’s disastrous first 100 days? How about a government shutdown? Running through news story after news story discussing how the government could be shutting down very soon, Meyers made this point:
Okay, but are we sure the government wasn't shutdown already? Because it was reported recently that ‘President Trump has appointed fewer than three dozen of the top 1,000 officials he needs to run the federal government.’ Under Trump our federal government is staffed as well as Duane Reade on a Sunday morning.
Hello?
Seth Meyers moves into whether or not Donald Trump would veto a Republican budget that didn’t include his racist border wall.
Meyers: The government staying open hangs on this question so when the AP asked Trump that question point-blank, this is what he said—and this is his full unedited answer.
Trump: “I don't know yet. People want the border wall. My base definitely wants the border wall, my base really wants it — you've been to many of the rallies. OK, the thing they want more than anything is the wall. My base, which is a big base; I think my base is 45 percent. You know, it's funny. The Democrats, they have a big advantage in the electoral college. Big, big, big advantage. I've always said the popular vote would be a lot easier than the electoral college. The electoral college — but it's a whole different campaign (unintelligible).”
As opposed to everything else up to that point—which had been super fucking telligible. But let’s get back to his answer about the wall.
Trump: “The electoral college is very difficult for a Republican to win, and I will tell you, the people want to see it. They want to see the wall”
Meyers: I’ll tell you one thing, that answer would have definitely made a much tougher chant at Trump rallies. Who’s going to pay for the wall? We don’t know yet. People want the border wall. Your base definitely wants the border wall. Your base really wants it. We’ve been to many rallies. Unintelligible.
Enjoy.