From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Memo to Montana: Make History!
Today's the day. Grassroots Democrat Rob Quist, running on a platform of affordable health care, preservation of public lands, and fewer millionaires in Congress, goes head-to-head against some generic Republican Mr. Moneybags with major anger issues today for Montana's sole House seat. Quist is campaigning his heart out. The other guy is trying a combination of buying the seat and beating people up for it. If you're a Montana Democrat, get to the polls today and help make sure this guy emerges victorious tonight:
More on the dynamics of the race from Kossack montanafarmer here. Polls close at 8pm. Good luck!
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, May 25, 2017
Note: C&J's customer service department will be closed on Memorial Day. Just like it is the other 364 days of the year. We apologize for any inconvenience. Please hold...
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Star Wars Episode VIII---The Last Jedi: 204
Days 'til Fairport Canal Days in New York: 8
Years as of today since Star Wars was released: 40
Total haul for all the Star Wars movies, according to Box Office Mojo, adjusted for inflation: $6,602,102,000
Height of both Darth Vader and James Comey: 6'8"
Average lifespan of a wookie: 400 years
Cost to build a death star, according to students at Lehigh University: $8.1 quadrillion
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
I hate to raise such an ugly possibility, but have you considered lunacy as an explanation? Craziness would make a certain amount of sense.
I mean, you announce you are going to militarize the Mexican border, but you assure the president of Mexico you are not militarizing the border. You announce you are sending the National Guard, but then you assure everyone it's not very many soldiers and just for a little while.
Militarizing the border is a totally terrible idea. Do we have a State Department? Are they sentient? How much do you want to infuriate Mexico when it's sitting on quite a bit of oil? Bush knows what the most likely outcome of this move will be. He was governor during the political firestorm that ensued when a Marine taking part in anti-drug patrols on the border shot and killed Esequiel Hernandez, an innocent goat-herder from Redford, Texas.
That's the definition of crazy---repeatedly doing the same thing and expecting a different result.
---May 2006
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Puppy Pic of the Day: The classic...
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CHEERS to anticipation. Hooray! Only one more day 'til the start of the Memorial Day Weekend and then it'll be July 4th and then back-to-school and then Trump gets impeached and then Thanksgiving and then Christmas 'n Hanukkah 'n Festivus and then "Happy New Year 2018!" and then fucking winter and then Pence gets impeached and then spring and then only one more day 'til the start of the Memorial Day weekend. Oh, the joy of having been around the block a few times.
CHEERS to the Great Orange King & Queen Maker! Eleven years ago, conservative NYT columnist David Brooks branded Markos Moulitsas a "keyboard kingpin" and his followers "squadrons of rabid lambs." The sarcasm dripped so thick that it could've eaten through the steel foundations of an Applebee's salad bar. But fast-forward to the present day, and the keyboard kingpin's hangout is gaining new respect from the election-watching establishment. This is from the button-down journos at McClatchy:
It was late January, and a small group of liberal bloggers were about to lift an obscure U.S. House candidate in Georgia to political stardom. At a time of unprecedented energy from the Democratic Party’s liberal base, an endorsement from Daily Kos Elections can make you famous---and raise a small fortune.
The website’s online fundraising pitch collected $400,000 for Jon Ossoff in a single week, more than some candidates for the House of Representatives raise in a year. Eventually, donations totaled about $1.6 million. […] “We knew right away that the amount of money coming in was just enormous, far, far beyond our wildest dreams,” said David Nir, Daily Kos’ longtime political director, who authored the site’s endorsement.
Meet the Democratic Party’s new kingmakers.
Going somewhere? [Grabs David Brooks' hand as he tries to flee the room, squeezes it until the bones crack.] I believe the phrase is, "Kneel before Kos."
CHEERS to preaching truth to thick-headed traitors. New Orleans Mayor Mitch Landrieu and his city council did a wise thing by removing those four confederate/white supremacy statues from the city, but some folks who apparently think owning people is a good thing didn’t agree. So Landrieu aimed a bullhorn at their heads and let loose in a speech that should give other cities and states the moral push they need to follow suit:
"These statues are not just stone and metal.They are not just innocent remembrances of a benign history. These monuments purposefully celebrate a fictional, sanitized Confederacy; ignoring the death, ignoring the enslavement, and the terror that it actually stood for. After the Civil War, these statues were a part of that terrorism as much as a burning cross on someone's lawn; they were erected purposefully to send a strong message to all who walked in their shadows about who was still in charge in this city. […]
[A] friend asked me to consider these four monuments from the perspective of an African-American mother or father trying to explain to their fifth-grade daughter who Robert E. Lee is and why he stands atop of our beautiful city. Can you do it?
Can you look into that young girl's eyes and convince her that Robert E. Lee is there to encourage her? Do you think she will feel inspired and hopeful by that story? Do these monuments help her see a future with limitless potential? Have you ever thought that if her potential is limited, yours and mine are too?"
[Raises hand] No. No. No. And yes. Wild guesses.
CHEERS to the visionaries. On May 25, 1787, the Constitutional Convention opened in Philadelphia with George Washington presiding. They came to blows over their first order of business, but after much chair-throwing and cane-beating, they finally agreed: We hereby resolve that Cheesesteak shall not be considered Cheesesteak without Cheez Whiz. It was mostly smooth sailing from there.
CHEERS to an appropriate welcome. Lord Dampnut ruined part of Pope Francis’s day yesterday by forcing him to spend time with the religious faker and his macabre, veiled entourage---Melania looking like a pissed-off cat that was just given a flea dip bath and Ivanka looking like bleach-bottle Wednesday Addams. But this is all you need to see to get an idea of how Trump’s Awkwardpalooza is going overseas:
While the Pope stopped short of damning his evil guests to the underworld, he did later arrange to have their afterlife quarters situated next to the boiler room. And all the ties in his dresser drawer be four inches long.
CHEERS to doing the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs.
Today is the 40th anniversary of the release of Star Wars, a movie that had me square in its demographic sights (I was 13 in '77) and blew me away, I'm proud to say. First time I saw it I was on a school field trip in Berlin, Germany, and I have to say Darth Vader was scarier when he was speaking German ("Gibt mir die plane, Mädchen, oder Ich will in deinekopf das kopfmitteldammer uberungenscheide gefurhen Schweinhund uber alles!"). It's estimated that over $32 billion has been spent on Star Wars merchandise, and I believe I have half of that in my attic. And guess what kids? Episode VIII: The Last Jedi opens in only 204 days, and you can see some all-new and Squeee!-worthy Annie Leibovitz shots from the filming here. The Force is strong with this one, and as long as they keep pumpin' 'em out, I'll always be 13, as evidenced by the thought that just popped into my head: Booger balls!!!
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Ten years ago in C&J: May 25, 2007
JEERS to Republican party drama queens. During debate on the Iraq war funding bill yesterday, John Boehner started bawling as he---for the umpteenth time---justified the Iraq invasion by citing 9/11. His tears were so shameless that this morning even the crocodiles are rolling their eyes.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to meeting the press. Recently some right-wing bullshit outfit wrote a column that appeared in our local newspaper, The Portland Press Herald, defending one of our state's two congressmembers, Bruce Poliquin (R), for voting for Trumpcare a few weeks back. Poliquin is a) a coward for not indicating how he would vote until he voted, and b) a real shitbag for voting for a piece of legislation that would force his over-26 asthmatic son to pay over $4,000 more annually for his treatment. So, taking pen to parchment, yours truly fired back and got this printed. (Note: my phrasing of the 5th paragraph reflects Mr. Allumbaugh using the "Did you know…?" crutch five times in his column.)
Nice try, Joel Allumbaugh. If he thinks the most cowardly congressman in Maine’s history deserves a pat on the back for supporting Trumpcare (“Commentary: Thank U.S. Rep Bruce Poliquin for his vote on health care reform,” May 9), he may need to see a doctor for a hidden head injury.
Poliquin has already told several whoppers about his party’s giant money grab posing as a health care overhaul. Even the Portland Press Herald had to clarify in a May 5 front-page headline that “facts disagree” with Poliquin’s assertion that the bill would “only” affect 7 percent of Mainers.
Sounds like Mr. Moneybags will say anything to get his giant Trump care tax cut from the $880 billion that’ll be slashed from Medicaid. Priorities, people. He has them.
But don’t take my word for it when I say that Trumpcare---supported by a piddly 21 percent of the public---is a dumpster fire that isn’t worth the paper it’s written on. Just look to the United States Senate, which promptly took the House’s bill, threw it in the garbage and declared they were “starting from scratch.”
Did you know that, Mr. Allumbaugh?
Trumpcare is immorality and fiscal irresponsibility writ large. There’s nothing wrong with the 2010 Affordable Care Act that can’t be made better with some modest changes and a cease-fire on the part of Republicans who are trying to kill it any way they can.
After I’d been priced out of the insurance market for five years, the ACA came along and saved my bacon. In March, I was diagnosed with cancer. My coverage through Maine Community Health Options via the ACA has been excellent.
So I say this as loud as I can so Mr. Allumbaugh (and Rep. Poliquin) can hear it echo through the hills: “Thanks, Obama!”
Write letters to the editor. They make people think. Even better, they piss off Republicans.
Have a nice Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
“Cheers and Jeers is not nearly as good as Daily Kos's best entries, like Greg Dworkin's Abbreviated Pundit Roundup. It washes up on the beach like a dead whale."
---The New York Post
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