The Horseface Chronicles Gail Collins, NYT, https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/17/opinion/trump-horseface-stormy-daniels-tweet
As always, and not unlike the beloved Molly Ivins, Gail Collins provides welcome drops of humor for those of us gasping in the desert of our current time. In her most recent NYT Opinion piece, Ms. Collins considers the recent display of our Resident exchanging Twitter barbs with a now-famous female porn star, Stormy Daniels. In so doing, Collins also gets in a few barbs at Thing’s enablers.
Of Well-Known Coward Paul Ryan, she notes that he said something to the effect that he wished the Resident had not engaged in such behavior – specifically, calling Ms. Daniels “horseface.” But she also captures the coward’s real response:
The look on Ryan’s face was somber, but somewhere in the back of his eyes you could see him setting off fireworks and yelling, “I’m out of here, suckers!”
Nonetheless, she notes that The Cowardly Ryan’s take was somewhat better than that of the unfortunately named (for the rest of us) John Kennedy of Louisiana. That swamp creature tried the boys will be boys approach, when he said, “We’ve all done something like that before.”
I am still trying to work my way through this one. We have all dallied with porn stars and then tried to pay them off through our fixer? Or, we have all referred to women with whom we had sex as ‘horse-faced? As a straight woman, I don’t hope to fully comprehend this, but I am quite sure I never described a former male sex partner as ‘horsefaced.’ At least, not on a public social media forum. Help me, here, Johnny.
Kennedy also opined that the Resident “grows anxious when he has unexpressed thoughts.” Now, I love Gail, but I really think she could have done more with that idiotic line than
Try to think of something worse than Trump’s “unexpressed thoughts.”
No, I am not going to try to do better, or worse, because, like Ms. Collins, I really don’t want to think about it. And, I assume that, like Ms. Collins, I would not want to subject other decent people to my appropriately revolting imaginings. I won’t even reflect on our situation in having a ‘president’ who grows anxious when he has unexpressed thoughts. Doesn’t that sound like something one might say about a ‘challenged’ toddler?
As she wrote,
I believe I speak for all of America when I say that having Donald Trump as president is bad enough without having to think about his genitals. Really, this is way, way worse than previous revelations that Lyndon Johnson called his “Jumbo” and Warren Harding’s was “Jerry.”
Gail Collins is a wonderful humorist, but I often find I learn from her. I never knew that LBJ named his penis ‘Jumbo’ or that Harding named his ‘Jerry.’ Is this a thing among men? I asked my spousal unit and my son if they had named their genitalia (any parts of them). They both laughed out loud and – in the son’s case, snorted hard enough that I had to apologize. So, as I always like to conclude with a poll, here it is: