By now you probably understand that since *Rump has said that the border wall is unclimbable, the best mountain climbers cannot climb his wall, that as with everything else *Rump says, he is lying.
But you may not realize how much of a lying liar he is when telling this lie. Sam Bee sent staff to investigate.
You should also know, Southerners are always polite in mixed company, never using foul language — like BS. Or *Rump.
I’ve tried to embed starting the video at the point showing the 8-year-old, but if I’ve failed, it’s at 3:02. The whole thing is funny though, if you have the time, plus Sam Bee is only at the beginning (total time 5:34). My transcription of the whole video is below, for those who can’t play videos.
Sam Bee: This week, we learned that for months, smugglers have been using cordless power saws to cut through *Rump's border wall. Making holes large enough to send people and drugs right through. So far, the US has budgeted nearly $10 billion on a wall that is about as secure as Jeffrey Epstein's prison cell. And it turns out, you may not even need to borrow your neighbor's power saw to get across. I sent Mike Rubens to find out more.
Mike Rubens: Science tells us there is no activity more satisfying and fulfilling than calling BS. Especially when the BS in question is transparently stupid and absurd, like *Rump talking about his still notional border wall.
*Rump: We actually built prototypes. And we have, I guess you could say world-class mountain climbers. We got climbers. We had 20 mountain climbers, some of them were champions. And we gave them different prototypes of walls and this was the one that was hardest to climb. This wall can't be climbed.
MR: OK, 20 world-class climbers, some champions, couldn't climb the wall. When the climbing community heard that, they said:
Climbers: BS. BS would be a good term. I think we're all here calling BS on it today.
MR: “Here” is Muir Valley, Kentucky. The mechanism for the calling of the BS is this, a replica of one of the 18-foot-high sections of *Rump's border wall. The replica is the brainchild of climber and retired engineer Rick Weber, who had his own potty-mouthed reaction to*Rump's claim.
Rick Weber: Well, I thought that's bulloney.
MR: Rick!
RW: He said he had 20 of the finest mountaineers in the world and they couldn't climb it. Nobody in the climbing community has a clue who these people may have been. And you never tell a rock climber that something is impossible to climb, because we'll go out and try it.
MR: So he built the replica and opened it up to any climber brave or foolhardy enough to take the challenge.
RW: We thought we would set up the competition and give them a chance to see how well they could climb the wall.
MR: So the climbers signed their safety waivers, made their preparations, and got a final set of instructions.
RW: You can hold onto the plate, because there are gaps between the plates on the edge of the wall.
MR: And so they set off. But could they scale the unscalable, climb the unclimbable, or was *Rump right? Was this beyond... Whoops, there we go. Turns out like most things *Rump says, it's all:
Climbers: BS, BS,BS, BS!
RW: If I were designing a wall, I don't think I could design a better wall to climb, because you have wonderful hand grips. The top plates are not welded together, so you can grab the side of one of the plates and you can pull yourself over the top, and just shimmy down.
MR: So, how long did it take some of these climbers to climb up and shimmy down? Let'swatch while I fill the time by trying to list all of *Rump's lies from the most recent week tracked by CNN. Ready? Go!
*Rump claimed that in a book published in 2000, he predicted that Osama bin Ladin would need to be assassinated – False, never happened.
No one has ever held closed-door impeachment hearings before – False, that happened with Nixon and Clinton.
They built the Empire State Building in just 9 months – False, in just... years.
The whistleblower has gone and totally discredited and... crap, I am out of time and there's 92 more to go.
MR: OK admittedly,maybe not everyone can scale this wall, these climbers are clearly the best of the best, like the test climber who initially beat this challenge on a previous day.
MR: Lucy, you are the first person to have ascended the wall?
Lucy: Yes.
MR: Oh, oh hi. Uh,how old are you?
Lucy: Eight.
MR: So yeah.According to the Washington Post, *Rump has made over 13,000 false or misleading claims since taking office. Think of it, if each of those statements was the size of a standard brick, they would create a stack nearly half again as tall as the Freedom Tower. The point is,we can't fight all of the lies, but thanks to Rick, we can take one of them, let it symbolize them all, and then see it crushed repeatedly.
Climber: It feels great to watch. There's a lot of camaraderie here. It's fabulous.
Climber: You just hop and pop up the wall, you just slap that top lip, and you're just up there, and you shove yourself over, you slide down the back. Ah dude, nothing better.
MR: If you were to use colorful climbing expressions: How would you describe the *Rump administration so far?
Climber: Ah, they're definitely soft, man, they want to go and get on like a really easy 5.12, then end up being like super-sandbagged.
MR: I think you're saying that they're not very good at what they're doing.
Climber: Ah no,they're just a bunch of chuffers, man. The whole *Rump administration, they just chuff hard on everything.
MR: You think we're at peak chuffness or is there more chuff to come?
Climber: You're talking about Donald *Rump, man. There is always more chuff to come.
MR: There's always more chuff.
Climber: He is the King of Chuffing, man.
MR: The King.
Climber: The King of Chuffing.
MR: So to the King of Chuff, these folks have called your… whatever it is that rhymes with chuff.
RW: The man is spending an awful lot of money to build a monstrosity out of iron that's not going to stop anybody.
MR: Building this replica of the wall and having people climb it – How satisfying is that, on a scale of like, “Ah” to “Oooh yeah!”?
RW: Um. Hard question to answer.
MR: No it's not, it's ah, Ah, AH... And that's the reason to cover what is admittedly a pretty minor story. Because it feels good.
MR: Just to kind of sum up, I mean, BS was called today.
Climber: Yes. By many a people. Many a people and the 8-year-old. [Chuckles]