The Presidential Debate Drinking Game.

From the Democrats Abroad in Sydney, Australia — g'day from several thousand overseas Kerry voters! — who'll be watching the debates on tape from our favorite local pub.

EQUIPMENT REQUIRED: An American flag, a $1 bill, you, your friends, and plenty of drinks.

Every time Bush says...	You...
"nu-kyu-lar"	smack your forehead and take 1 drink
"Iraq" or "Saddam"	shout "yee-hah!" and take 1 drink
"weapons of mass destruction"	look for them under the table — if you don't find any, take 1 drink
"terror" or "terrorists"	scream in terror and take 1 drink
"America is safer"	cough the word "bullsh*t" and take 1 drink
"tax cuts"	buy another round and put it on your credit card
"Dick Cheney"	sing "Hail to the Chief" and take 2 drinks
"North Korea" or "Iran"	shout "you're next!" and take 1 drink
"September 11th"	wrap yourself in the flag and take 2 drinks
blames Congress or Clinton	pass the buck one person to the right
admits a mistake	duck to avoid the flying pigs
Every time Kerry says...	You...
"Osama bin Laden"	look around the room — if you find him, tell Bush where he is; if not, take 1 drink
"two Americas"	sing "This Land is Your Land" and take 2 drinks
"unilateral"	whoever has the $1 bill takes a drink
"allies" or "NATO"	shake hands with someone and take 1 drink
"Vietnam"	salute "reporting for duty!" and take 1 drink
"wealthiest one percent"	buy another round and pay for it in cash
"outsourcing"	buy a round of foreign beers
hints or says Bush is not telling the truth	gasp "noo!" in shock and take 1 drink
"health care"	check your pulse and take 1 drink
"John Edwards"	swoon or cheer (your choice) and take 2 drinks
"America can do better"	wave the flag and take 1 drink