In the
I Ching, the fall of flung yarrow sticks yields
patterns - hexagrams - which carry deeply nuanced meanings (had you but
eyes to see). So too with the letters of words, phrases, sentences; they
shift and change and rearrange to unveil layer after layer of
significance. These anagrams can confirm or counter half-held
suspicions, crystallise dimly formed notions, and sometimes nudge the
mind into exciting new realms of speculation. Showing us how it's done, please welcome ---
Sibylline Scrambler! Speaking in a hybrid of
Kabbalistic utterance, SMS msging, headline journalese, cryptic
crossword clues and Ali G, she now does a virtuoso riff on the infamous
advertisement aboard
USS Abraham Lincoln, and delivers a thorough
critique of BushCo, GWOT and related issues. Some are coy hints, some
are damning accusations, a few are Tinfoil Town. But you can't help
feeling - hmmm...
something's getting nailed here, in such a
manner that you can always tell the President: 'You said it, man, I
didn't'.
CYA disclaimer: The following thoughts are entirely those of
Sibylline Scrambler, aka
Dictionary
Divinatrix (or
Dixie Trix),
Cryptographic
Clairvoyant (
Cryppie Claire) and other avatars. The diarist's
annotations are no more than attempts to figure out what she could
possibly have meant ('This one seems to suggest the Administration
doesn't always tell the complete truth. Ya think?'). On
with the séance.
Mission
accomplished
This morphs nicely into the
dismal morning after.
Chimp's claims die
soon
At least their credibility dies. He just
keeps on claimin', because:
Denial is
chimp cosmos
Yes, he dwells in an
alternative reality (whose validity he must always
reiterate valiantly), one which is immune to grim
truths like the absence of WMD in Iraq, in the aftermath of the
Abe
Lincoln moment:
Chimp coda: no
missiles!
and
Poisons? Chemicals? Dim.
referring presumably to the chances of anyone's finding
any. But it gets much grimmer, as Sibyl channels
Nostradamus about the chaos, bloodshed, civil war and other tragic
outcomes in Iraq:
Lo...epic domain
schisms!
So how did it all come
about? There's a clue in this genial confession (which I'm
told was dropped from the First Inaugural Address):
I'd lie, spin, scam, smooch
i.e. 'do whatever it takes to pursue
my agenda', on which Iraq was always a biggie. In this MO, he has
the priceless services of Dr Spin & His Roving Spinners;
or, more accurately:
Doc Spin - Lies -
Machismo!
The good doctor crafts
the perfect way to pitch a phoney war, and sagely advises:
Spin 'aims + doom'
clichés
Clichés indeed, which is what
talking points become when repeated often enough. And CINC and crew
are nothing if not relentlessly repetitive. The oft-stated aims are
freedom, democracy, free market, and a Pizza Hut in every souk. As
for the doom:
Doom spin
is...chemicals!
And poisons and
biologicals and nukes. Don't forget the nukes.
Chimp's con: silos aimed
Figuratively speaking. The real thing would be more like
'suitcases stashed' or 'container truck parked'. The media too stands
indicted for complicity in 'catapulting the propaganda'.
Docile MSM shops in CIA
And loads its carts with the cherry-picked intelligence so
helpfully laid out. For example:
MSM
aids poison cliché
That would of
course be Judy Miller's panic-mongering exposés about non-existent
poison gas stockpiles. The ever-obliging National Security Advisor
also picks it up and runs with it, because (this is so touching):
He's pal, so Condi
mimics
That's why, on national TV, we
have:
Condi hisses: 'Ammo
clip!'
Well, what she really hissed
was 'Smoking gun!' coupled with 'Mushroom cloud!', but this gets
the spirit of it; call it poetic license. At this point,
Scramblin' Sibyl so far forgets herself as to gratuitously
offer some bitchy snark with a distinct Mideastern flavour, so to
speak:
IMHO, Condi's camel
piss
Getting back on message, she
muses on the disconnect between stated motives and the real
mission.
CINC's MO - shop
idealism
Liberation, better life,
free society, WalMart, all that. Definitely not another Vietnam, in
which context the US was called 'The Hangman of SE Asia'. In other
words:
Chimp disclaims
noose
Contrast that with the stark
reality of 'shock and awe':
CINC's ops
aim - demolish!
Presumably so that
Halliburton gets to reconstruct lots. Now Shriekin' Sibyl
reveals her darkest fears:
Chimp is
mad. Colonises!
Well, no, honey, he
doesn't go that far. He sure does build an awful lot of permanent
bases, though. But Dixie Trix is still distraught, and
gives us:
Disclaims penis
smooch!
Ummm...that was the previous
guy. But this may be just nostalgia for a time when invading an
intern was the worst that the President had to lie about. However,
recovering her composure, she now reminds us of what the documented
intelligence really said. About the degree of threat:
Chimp's 'doom' less in
CIA
And about the prognosis for the
whole Iraq misadventure:
Hope missin',
docs claim
And 'complete victory',
whatever that consists of? Here's the terse assessment.
Chances dim / lo / imposs
So why did he just bull ahead regardless? What makes Iraq
such a prize? If it was just Halliburton contracts, we could have
invaded Tanzania. No, it's because
Oil
is ChimpCo madness
We all knew that,
didn't we?
Oil spices his
command
Yeah, he gets a buzz from the stuff.
That's why
Chimp seconds oil
aims
In case anyone doesn't get it
yet, these are the aims referred to:
Scam mode is - pinch oil
You couldn't say it plainer than that. And of course Iraqis aren't
totally thrilled about occupiers milking their goats.
Caliphs do miss income
Wouldn't you? That's all an insurgency needs, really. But
now, suddenly out of left field, Cryppie Claire pitches
this alarming thought:
Schism 'cos
oilmen paid?
Are vested interests
funding the sectarian violence to keep it going, so as to justify continued
American occupation? Keep that gravy train rolling? Chilling. But
conspiracy or not, it's an open-ended war.
No aim, Chimp discloses
Right. No clear-cut objectives. No real criteria for
'victory' or 'success'. No end in sight. Dr Spin urges:
Chimp is aimless? Do con.
Consisting of bullshit in bullet points (the Strategy
for Victory, or cry to gratify voters), which
doesn't save the Administration from plunging ratings and doubts
about POTUS's sobriety. Permuting Prophetess taps some
insider sources to confirm this.
Is a
dipso, memos clinch
What memos? Well,
there's this one, a plaintive cry for help from the Oval Office, or maybe the prequel to the notorious pee-break note to Condi:
Imp.
I am so
sloshed
- CINC
No surprise, we've all
seen the tell-tale signs. Only a matter of time before he's forced
to come clean, as in:
'Hic!' compels
admission
Meanwhile, elsewhere in
America:
CINC spies dismal
homo
at the intersection of
Gay-Bashing and Domestic Surveillance, neatly capturing the sense
of malaise at home. In a spirit of laughing so as not to weep:
Comic idols shame
spin
Jon Stewart, Bill Maher,
Colbert, Letterman and others who give him no peace. In fact, they
get laughs just by running the footage.
Comedians' MO: his clips
All of which brings CINC to the unsurprising conclusion:
'I piss homeland
comics'
To say nothing of a majority
of other Americans, and most of the rest of the world. Not that
this ever seeps into the Oval Bubble, whose occupant continues to
display 'resolve', while 'staying the course' and 'believing in my
beliefs' and damn the polls and focus groups. Speaking in his
'is-our-children-learning' vein
Chimp
madness - 'I is cool'
'Am champ. I no
discloses'.
But reality's nipping at
his heels and biting him in the ass. Ratings are in the low 30s and
still going south. More and more people can see that
Chimp Inc: oodles amiss
Which is why our Leftist Logomanceress now thunders out
this stern near-Biblical injunction:
Lo! Con! Impeach!
Dismiss!
Sounds pretty good to me.