Next Liberal: 120 miles

I remember moving here shortly after the 2000 election.  No one mentioned politics until one day that I happened to ride an elevator with a casual acquaintance who asked, "Are you going to watch the inauguration tomorrow?"  That's certainly the last thing that I wanted to see.  "No."  "Why not?"  I looked at him.  I had been under the impression that most people didn't bother watching inaugurations, no matter how their vote was cast, but apparently this was unusual behavior to him.  "I'm not a Republican; I voted for the other guy."  The elevator door opened.  "You're not a Republican?  Really?"  I stepped out and looked over my shoulder as the doors shut, briefly witnessing one of the most surprised expressions that I had ever seen, like a squirrel in a power station.

That encounter was when I realized things would be difficult.  Where am I and why am I here? to twist a famous quote.  I don't think it matters because I can't leave for a few more years.  What I do know is that every friend that I've made is either a Republican or a political agnostic.  Given the two, I prefer the agnostics because at least they admit that they aren't informed, but they can be equally frustrating at times.  One revealed knowing someone killed in Iraq, only to add that they "hadn't really had time to follow the news and think about it enough to decide if we should be over there or not."  Great, I'm sure your friend would appreciate that.

I closely follow current events and try to enlighten these people, but frequently it feels like explaining calculus to someone without knowledge of arithmetic.  I don't have the energy.

So I quickly moved on to plan B: meeting other liberals.  Where to go?  Well, I'm a liberal...where do I go?  Not many places.  I work a lot and I'm a bit of a loner; my present job is research, which tends to be a solitary endeavor.  I choose not to drink alcohol, so bars are out despite there being a local Drinking Liberally, which only has four people anyway.  I don't drink coffee, so I can't spend much time at a coffee house without feeling as if I owe them money.  None of my friends, or friends of their friends, seem to know other liberals, so even the Kevin Bacon strategy fails.

I know!  Being an Internet addict, I recall reading that lots of political matchmaking sites have appeared recently, and I know quite well by now that I'm not going to get any dates around here.  Hmm.  Let me try a few of these without restricting the search in any way.  Put in my info ... search ... 30-mile radius: 0 matches.  Expected that, okay.  60-mile radius: 0 matches.  Wow, does it think that I'm in Antarctica?  No, that is my zip code.  120-mile radius.  Finally a positive number.  Small, and no one interesting, but positive.

I am so doomed.  Maybe Kos can start a virtual push-pin map of the United States with a bunch of little orange-capped pins.  Then I can take a road trip and say, "Hey buddy, you're the only other orange pin in my state.  Can I have your autograph?"