Oh, that silly Pat Robertson.
He's at it again:
Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson warned residents of a rural Pennsylvania town Thursday that disaster may strike there because they "voted God out of your city" by ousting school board members who favored teaching intelligent design.
All eight Dover, Pa., school board members up for re-election were defeated Tuesday after trying to introduce "intelligent design" - the belief that the universe is so complex that it must have been created by a higher power - as an alternative to the theory of evolution ...
..."I'd like to say to the good citizens of Dover: If there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to God. You just rejected him from your city," Robertson said on the Christian Broadcasting Network's "700 Club."
Eight families had sued the district, claiming the policy violates the constitutional separation of church and state. The federal trial concluded days before Tuesday's election, but no ruling has been issued.
Later Thursday, Robertson issued a statement saying he was simply trying to point out that "our spiritual actions have consequences."
"God is tolerant and loving, but we can't keep sticking our finger in his eye forever," Robertson said. "If they have future problems in Dover, I recommend they call on Charles Darwin. Maybe he can help them."
Robertson made headlines this summer when he called on his daily show for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.
In October 2003, he suggested that the State Department be blown up with a nuclear device. He has also said that feminism encourages women to "kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians."
-from Seattle Post Intelligencer
Beware, Dover, PA! BEEWWWAAAAARRRE!
Don't beware of God. He has no beef with you, as far as I know. I mean beware of Pat (formerly "Patricia," as Merlot Democrats has learned from well-placed inside sources, until reformative surgery converted him to his true self: a dude. A gay-hatin', bile-spewin', wanna-be-assassinatin', misogynatin' - if "Intelligencer" is a word, then "misogynating" can be - DUDE who holds himself out as a mouthpiece for Christianity, but who has apparently never read those parts of the New Testament that are sometimes in red print; and what an absurdly long parenthetical this has been) Robertson. For, as you know, the former Patricia has a thing for killing folks who disagree with him. And that situation with Hugo Chavez just had to do with politics! Imagine if you get on his FAITH-BASED hit-list, liked the citizenry of Dover. Lord have mercy, I wouldn't be surprised if Pat nee Patricia came to Dover with a big-ol' Tommy gun and "cleansed the voter roles" as he might put it.
It is very telling that Robertson's two most recent fatwas for the execution of infidels have resulted from the outcomes of elections. Hugo Chavez, elected leader of Venezuela, must die because he's a Commie who is pals with other Commies and thinks the U.S. is trying to kill him anyway. The people of Venezuela didn't vote P. Robertson's way, so the wrongs of that electorate must be righted by way of murder. Similarly, the entire populace of Dover, Pennsylvania, United States of America, P. Robertson proclaims, faces a grisly fate meted out by divine provenance through, one assumes, natural disaster because of their picks in a local school board election.
This sounds like fascism to me. Right? What is P. Robertson advocating here? "Oppressive, dictatorial control." And, furthermore, is there a better definition of "terrorist" than someone who says "if you disagree with me, you will be killed." The right-wing likes to toss around the term "islamo-fascist" a lot. But I'd say that every time someone like P. Robertson points that "islamo-fascism" finger at someone, he has three "fundamento-evangelico-christo-fascism" fingers pointed right back at himself. ("And a thumb pointing up to God, or something, I guess," as Al Franken as Stuart Smalley once said.)
So, the fascist former Patricia is a terrorist and douche. He is most definitely a "douche" as it is used in the vulgar patois of the common rabble, but my reference to him as "God's Own Douche" employs the symbolic hygiene product in a more subtle, scholarly, and metaphorical fashion. To wit, a douche floods an area with saline solution, which takes unto itself all that is unclean or unhealthy and purges it from within. Similarly, I imagine God put folks like P. Robertson on the planet to attract unwanted elements of the population, which elements, by their association with the Robertsons of the world, marginalize themselves. You sign on with the kooks, in other words, and you are "out there" with the kooks and the rest of us can all see it.
Also, though P. Robertson is necessary to fulfill God's purpose as an ideology-douche (as a saline or vinegar douche serves its own vital purpose in the physiological realm), I'm sure God is occasionally embarrassed when some of the douche's extremo-nonsense makes it out into the wider, non-crazy world. Like when P.Robertson gets a lot of press because of the Chavez thing, or the Dover thing, or the feminism thing, I'm sure God feels almost exactly like a woman would feel if she had company over and inadvertently left a Massengill box on the coffee table.
cross-posted at my site